It took me quite a while To understand That I belong To the creative world of words …. Photography holds an undefined attraction, And painting is a healing journey For my soul …
A soul that travels Through the tests and trials Of my ancestors, Who endured so much in life. They emerged from vulnerability, An innate resilience Passed down through generations, Now alive within me …
It might sound quite vulnerable and it’s okay with me. I think I’ve inherited vulnerability from my maternal grandmother. I love her so much and lately
I’ve realized this strange feeling that who I choose to be has nothing to do with how others perceive me. I am under no obligation to let their version of me become the story I tell myself and create it my way ….
Often these days My thoughts are spreading out to you With too many questions hovering upon me.. Is the heat too intense where you dwell? Are you navigating it with ease? What’s the moisture like in your realm? What’s the humidity level there? I sense the weariness in your words; It seems like a struggle for you; Are you truly alright?
Here, we’re also dealing with scorching heatwaves – Yet, amidst the swelter, my mind wanders to you How do you cope up in this relentless weather? Often these days It crosses my mind …
Do you think of me too, Sometimes?
Do you remember my disdain for humidity, And how it worsens my headaches …. Do you remember my aversion to doctors, Yet now they’re an inevitable part of life?
My heart, already broken by your absence, Feels the toll of days passing … I find myself overthinking, Lost in thoughts of you, Especially in these days, Days of relentless heat, Days of suffocating humidity ….
Though You may never grasp … There’s an essence about you that I can’t shake Even amidst these sweltering heatwaves … A grip on me akin to The greatest tale left untold …
So,
Could you narrate an episode or two from your journey? Could you paint a tale of your eccentric existence? Could you recount an experience For me? To me? In these sweltering heat Amidst the scorching waves there? …
Meanwhile Take care, my dear, Know that I pray for you … In every moment In every humid day and night Of these days ….
I do drink lots of water in these scorching conditions. I do keep my body cool. Though I hate to use sunscreen, just I avoid sunburn. I do like coconut water a lot. And Nimbu Pani too ☺️. Then I love ice cream too 🤷🏿♀️
Love this poem and read it many times. Do you love such poems?
I love many of them …
First and foremost, allow me to share Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnet 43, ‘How Do I Love Thee?’
It begins with the iconic lines:
‘How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…’
These two lines alone contain volumes of meaning, and I find myself revisiting them often …
There’s another poem, I love, and that is ‘Hope’ by Emily Dickinson
‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers – That perches in the soul – And sings the tune without the words – And never stops – at all’ …
I may not be good at recitation, but I have a deep passion for reading and appreciating the intricate artistry of language. The way words are arranged to evoke emotions, convey wisdom, and capture the essence of life, love, and nature resonates deeply with me. It’s in these moments, amidst the twists and turns of expression, that I find myself enamored with the beauty of language and the emotions it encapsulates …
See, when you read ‘Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening’ by Robert Frost, won’t you just love this famous poem?
‘The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep’ …
Here’s another eloquent excerpt from the renowned poem ‘The Road Not Taken’ by Robert Frost:
‘Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.’
This poem resonates deeply with me and holds a special place in my heart, as I often find myself reflecting on its message of making pivotal choices that shape one’s journey.
I have a profound admiration for another poem, namely ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.’ Its expression conjures the sense of companionship, as if the lover is spiritually present, ensuring one is not alone:
‘Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out against the sky’ …
Isn’t it beautiful?
I’m certain many of you appreciate these poems. There are numerous others, but I’d like to share just a few of my absolute favorites with you all, such as ‘Leisure’ by William Henry Davies:
‘What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare … No time to see, in broad daylight, Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty’s glance, And watch her feet, how they can dance.’
To selectively share excerpts from the poem is my means of conveying:
Please delve into the poems I’m presenting here— read them when solitude surrounds you, read them in the company of your beloved, read them among friends, read them with strangers, read them in tranquility, read them amidst chaos … but above all, I hope you read them in their entirety …
Sharing one of my recent painting video from ‘Chaos’ series. Hope you may like it. Also I tried to read the poem ‘What It Is’. Hope you would like listening to it as well ….
And also please do share here about your favourite poems …..
Part of my morning rituals are spent in my little varandah garden! It refreshes me …. Love the sound of the chirping birds, the warm light, smell of the wind and greens and flowers … Some days I read here with a glass of warm honey water and some days a cup of tea … with a little conversation … These days are Ramadan days, the most blessed days and I’m healing from my broken finger …. I hope it’ll be alright soon … and everything too
My canvas of delight is Dancing bright … My passion is igniting A colorful sight … My soul is painting A tranquil choir … My emotion is healing With peace and fire …
And came to school the next day and she came to my desk room to see me. She was standing at the doorstep and she called me softly,
‘Miss’ …..
I looked at her, and got up from my desk and went closer to the doorstep and touching her soft cheek, I said,
‘Hello Mumma! How’re you sweety? You were absent yesterday. I heard that you had toothache. How’s your toothache now?
I was saying all these to her at a go …
And she said to me ‘Did you miss me?’ with such deep affectionate look at me and with a softer voice that it almost melted my heart with pure bliss …
It was so heartwarming, I immediately gave her a hug and said, ‘Of course, I missed you dear. I missed you so much.’
It seemed she felt good to hear those words for her and then she hugged me for a few seconds and smiled ….
And then she noticed my buddy taping fingers
‘What happened?’ – serious concerns with full of innocent sympathy
‘It just was an accident my dear.’ I answered.
‘Is this hurting you?’ She couldn’t get it what’s that!
‘Well, yes! A little’ ….
‘How did it happen?’ – asked like an adult as if she would understand the whole situation …
She kissed my buddy taping and asked me, ‘Should I draw something on your bandage? So it’ll be cured faster.’
‘Oh dear! Really? You can draw of course.’
Then she brought out her special colour box and said to me, ‘I want to use the colors that you prefer today. Cause it’s your bandage on your hand.”
Then I chose some colors, pink, purple, green yellow …
She drew this one. She drew a heart, a flower …. For me ….
She asked me, ‘Did you like it?
I know you all know what my answer was to her …
Now you tell me, ‘Do you like this Little Joy’?’
Do you value such little joy in your life?
How sometimes we get someone’s affection and we don’t even notice ….
How sometimes you know that you’re someone special in someone’s heart, and yet you do not care much or ignore or you take that for granted …
How often we do not acknowledge these little joys of life …
Often I do find these ‘Little Joy’ moments in my life and I value them deeply. I believe life is made up of these little moments, precious memories, vulnerability and love that all add up to create a big canvas of your life. We should know that the bigger picture cannot be made without all the small moments that bring it all together. So
‘I hope you find, as I did, that happiness comes from noticing and enjoying the little things in life’
Humepenthe/ made up (n.) someone who makes you forget er your pain and sorrow; someone with whom you forget all your worries ….
Humepenthe is a made up word (@cosmosbyrudra) made with combination of human + nepenthe which human form of a drug which was given to people to forget or lessen their pain and suffering in ancient time ….
When I was a little girl, everything in the world fell into either of these two categories: wrong or right. Black or white.
Now that I am an adult, I have put childish things aside and now I know that some things fall into wrong and some things fall into right. Some things are categorized as black and some things are categorized as white. But most things in the world aren’t either! Most things in the world aren’t black, aren’t white, aren’t wrong, aren’t right, but most of everything is just different.
And now I know that there’s nothing wrong with different, and that we can let things be different, we don’t have to try and make them black or white, we can just let them be grey.
And when I was a child, I thought that God was the God who only saw black and white. Now that I am no longer a child, I can see, that God is the God who can see the black and the white and the grey, too, and He dances on the grey!
Now that I’m an adult, I no longer think about right or wrong …. I’m just aging gracefully and with a smile Rushing through life’s most beautiful turns and moments … Where it doesn’t really matter What anyone will say …
Now that I’m an adult I no longer feel the necessity To be understood … If I become a good listener and can walk away from the unnecessary chaos around me … That’s enough for me …
Now that I’m an adult I understand me well …. I dance on the clouds … I fly high … I sing in the rain … I make friendships with strangers, If they’re black, white, brown or grey, it doesn’t matter… I trust the path … I enjoy the journey … I reach to where there’s only peace, love and only smiles … I have built a place where sorrows hide and love flying free and high … Thereon my soul itself becomes a love, true love all the time … And God is the God who loves me as I’m … He is ‘Okay’ with my colors whatever that is And keep a smile for me out there high above; Till the time comes to meet my Lord I embrace that colorful space with all my heart, and, fulfill my much needed soul’s quest … Grey is okay, I understand And I love colors though …
Wanted to meet you wearing my white Kanchipuram saree in front of Taj Mahal …
Now you’re coming to the hospital To see me …
It would be quite an unexpected sight … But my heart is pounding at the very thought of it …
– Hello, are you okay? – Yes, I’m okay. – I’m sorry. – Why are you sorry? There’s nothing you could’ve done. It was supposed to happen the way I was so clumsy on the road – Why were you … – Umm. I’m sorry …
I couldn’t tell him, my heart was restless at the very thought of meeting him for the first time ever … So I was a bit unmindful and acted clumsily, and silly on the road and there the accident happened in the middle of the midnight …
– Hey, don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I’m coming to you.
Instantly there’s this faster beating of my heart at the very sound of him saying, ‘I’m coming to you.’
I wanted to meet you wearing my very traditional Kanchipuram white saree. It’s as elegant as Taj. I feel gorgeous in it. I have been keeping it aside the day we planned to meet in front of Taj.
Now you are coming to the hospital and I m wearing this dull hospital gown! How ironic is that ….. !
Oh, no! I think I could see him. That’s got to be him … How am I sure! Why not … I have seen him so Many times in my dreams … I know how he walks, how he looks, how he would talk to me …
Oh no! I dreamt of conversation over coffee with him … Now? What will I have with him? Or is he bringing soup and fruits for a patient (that’s me)? Unfortunately ….
He’s looking here and there … Not sure of the direction, I guess … Should I call him? Tell him to come straight over here … I’m just behind this long glass door and Precisely just follow the directions from where faster loud heartbeats are coming… That’s mine How can I manage my heart palpitations? I can hear it… It’s unmanageable …
Now, yes he’s near and has found me … Waving his hand in a friendly smiling manner … I’m just feeling shy even to wave back a little bit … As if I have become all still! My heart is beating so fast And I do not want him to see me like this … Nervous and blushing Hey, but I’m sick … My heart rate can be high And I can blush a bit Fortunately ….
There’s this beating in my heart, and It sounds like you … You told me when you would meet me, You’ll recite my favourite poem, and that’s The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock “Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out against the sky” Now you won’t be reciting the poem … Now you’ll just sit in front of my hospital bed And talk this or that … As if I would be in pain listening to your recitation, you would think … But trust me, I won’t be in pain To listen to you … Now I don’t know if you can hear me properly Cause at the back of my mind, I’m hearing you reciting, ‘Let us go then, you and I’ … I also feel to just leave this place You and I …
How boring this place is For two strangers to meet for the first time …
– Hey, finally, I’m able to see you. How are you now? (Your thoughtful words for me) – I’m just fine. The doctor said I can leave by 3 pm … – Really? That’s awesome then. It’s already 1 pm. Should we finalize the papers and payments etc? – Oh! Don’t worry! That’s already done. I just can wrap up all the papers and medicines. – Where’s your lugguge? – There’s a locker for the patients without attendance. So they kept those there. My hotel pickup car will soon arrive … – What? No ways! I’ve my car and you’re coming with me. I may drop you there. You’ll finish the checked in at your hotel and then take some time to freshen up. Then we’ll go for an early dinner, I mean if you would feel fine. Or we can meet tomorrow again. Don’t worry.
While he was saying all these words there, I was thinking all in my mind, ‘Then I’ll wear my white Kanchipuram saree for the dinner with him which I wanted to wear to meet him for the first time in front of Taj Mahal.’
He saw my blank look and suddenly I heard him asking, – Don’t you trust me?
There my heartbeat paused for a bit and I told him, – I trust you. – Did you listen what I said? – Yes, I did … – Good. So all’s settled then…
Finally we’re getting into cozy conversation… A quiet conversation Dwelling In the eternal love …
I put my heart and soul into my work, and I have lost my mind in the process. -Vincent Willem Van Gogh
It is true for each of my creative works. My paintings have its stories and often they echo my deep-rooted emotions and deep talk with myself. I live in each of its stories and moments of creativity.
So here I so very wish to share my stories of two paintings with you all.
A Tale of Twin Paintings
Finally Falguni has the other twin painting tittle ‘Hope Shines’. I am super happy that she has chosen this one. And then there the first twin painting titled ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze, Here’ already owned by my daughter …
Why am I saying this two paintings as ‘TWIN PAINTINGS’?
Because I painted this two paintings simultaneously, keeping them side by side using only one art paper, dividing them with masking tapes. And they both have the same wavelengths I felt at the time I was painting them. While I was working on this Twins, during their creative process, colouring, taking pauses, brushing, re-brushing, stroking the brushes here and there, I remember I was contemplating on various things, specially doing meaningful purposeful work for the rest of my life. A purpose greater than life itself. Many a times I felt discouraged and demotivated, but never ever I felt lost as to what next. I’ve been always having different ideas to move forward in life. Never look back what I couldn’t, but moving forward what I can. Just like the titles of the Twin Paintings, I have been following a Soothing Breeze instilled in my heart all my life keeping my ‘Hope’ Shines throughout this life’s journey so far ….
Amazing, na?
Now I’m so glad that one twin painting is with my little sister-friend Falguni, and the other twin has its permanent residence at my dear daughter’s far away homesweethome.
When I first shared the two paintings after seemingly finishing them with my daughter, she immediately asked me to keep the ‘Follow the Soothing Breeze Here’ painting for her. I just loved the urgency to book the painting for herself. So I did keep it aside for her, happily. Last time I visited NY, I took that painting for her home there. She has already few of my paintings at her home. Now all the people come to visit her place, they ask her about the paintings and she feels so proud to let them know, ‘My mom is an artist. These are her paintings.’ She has been my very own cheerleader from the day I started the painting journey in 2020. And from then onwards, I listened to her many suggestions for my Jian Bird Creates and my painting journey. She absolutely adores my creative style of living and specially this journey inspires her to follow the soothing breeze deep inside her loving beautiful heart for herself.
Now ‘Hope Shines’ had lost its Twin and was alone, passing its days with other dazzling paintings around it. One day Falguni came at my Fund raising event ‘Meet & Greet’ for love and light. She walked through my small Jian Bird Gallery, and there she found her ‘Hope Shines’. As definitely always her hope shines through all the ups and downs of life’s tragic and unexpected happenings and yet she continues to shine ✨ For that reason or some other, she decided to own the ‘Hope Shines’ …
For an artist, the canvas is his life, breath and philosophy. So when someone owns their artwork or creative piece, and genuinely wants to keep those with them, I as an artist consider it as honor. I feel they can relate to the piece as I do. And for most of my artworks, I had this conversational experience to tell a story or to evoke an emotion. And there are some who wants me to attach the story with it. I feel it’s a complete connection, from soul to soul.
Now I know my very first TWIN paintings will always remain as their beloved treasures at their soul-home wherever they go. They are themselves two amazing souls in the beautiful Earth, self-made, selfless and strong.
Lastly, I just want to say to ALL of you; Never forget. Hope shines only for those who believe.
Thanks, kindly, for stopping by and reading this long note from me.
Life is somewhat grey Everywhere Just monotony Lost and lonely …
Don’t you know?
Only when you stay Life is colorful …. A hopeful glow Echoes of brighter joy Birds sing cheerful songs Rays of sunshines warm my cheeks My yellow dyed dreams return …
I dreamt of walking On mountains And I dreamt of meeting You ….
Here I’m walking On the lands of magical mountains … High above the crowds and the clouds, Under the ancient pine trees I’m in its close embrace .. Surrendering to the magnificence … Believe, I could see nothing In the thread of mist Caressing the wind Everywhere I see You …
I was waiting For you And you didn’t show up while my odes started to burn … A heartache …
After a while, There a humble person came along .. Seemed so at the moment … I asked him to take a picture of me and There I sat at the corner of a bench In the garden … Took some time to Get my mood toned Up my unsettled face … There the man waited patiently … A gentleman ….
Once it’s all set yet unsteady As I was, I heard the man said, ‘Ready?’ Twinkled at him and said, ‘Yes’ Smiling … With the chilly breeze that was Passing through I preferred my warm Jacket kept aside And my heavy heart smile For the warmth I needed …. A harmony ….
Later on I welcomed a friendly Conversation with the stranger He seemed to like all of it … My chitter-chattering And laughter flowed freely, naturally … Then we started walking In the garden, blooming all around An attachment ….
The balance was the two umbrellas For each of us, His violet, mine yellow one We were walking and talking Keeping the in-between distance mindfully yet our heart-felt notions were quietly replaying … The undefined mysteries of the world, meanwhile … Letting love in our heart, unknowingly … After a while, we faded into our different paths Just two strangers with memories A detachment ….
The dawn was breaking You looked at me I looked at you The place was a haunting one The light was shining And You and I collide Yet we never kissed … You never touched my face … What could I say? What could I do? There I stood, unknowing What’s happening In a world full of billions There were you Mixed with all of the chaos Inside and Out At that very moment I somehow felt You and I collide For a reason … When The dawn was breaking You looked at me I looked at you
This hug is so powerful that it’s given so tightly, yet so tenderly with all the care and affection that one feels for another, that it itself makes a whole lot difference without saying much words and you both deserve this Jaduu Ki Jhappi always.
Never miss to give it when your beloved needs it; Never hesitate to ask for it when you need it from her, your lover, your best friend …
Your Jaduu Ki Jhappi means the world to her, remember that.
Love your beloved like you never take her for granted, scold her if she is not taking care of her, pamper her like a little girl, protect her as you are her only bodyguard, hold her like you will never let her go❤️ –
“Jaduu Ki Jhappi” says all of these and more to the lovers …
Roksana Tales 