Category: Growing up

Hijr

Your thoughts are coming in waves …
Ceaselessly, constantly …
Crashing upon my mind’s shorelines;
Uncontrollably …

Hijr/ urdu
(n.) the feeling of having lost or been separated from a loved one ….

Meraki

My canvas of delight is
Dancing bright …
My passion is igniting
A colorful sight …
My soul is painting
A tranquil choir …
My emotion is healing
With peace and fire …

Meraki
(v.) to do something with soul, creativity or love; to leave a piece and essence of yourself in something you do …

What If

What if it all works out?
What if you get that call?
What if today goes unexpectedly well?
What if you have what it takes?
What if you meet someone unexpectedly?
What if today you make the day best with what you have?
What if someone is praying for you?
What if you receive that one mail?
What if someone has special feelings for you?
What if someone tells you that?
What if you go on that trip with someone for a day or two?
What if the trip takes you to another state of mind?
What if you return with a complete different state of heart?
What if you do not know what’s next?
What if the best is yet to come?
What if great things are on the way?
What if you don’t search for any answer?
What if the answer is within you?

I love all the ‘What ifs’ …
What ifs’ give me hope …

Little Joy

So she was absent for one day

And came to school the next day and she came to my desk room to see me. She was standing at the doorstep and she called me softly,

‘Miss’ …..

I looked at her, and got up from my desk and went closer to the doorstep and touching her soft cheek, I said,

‘Hello Mumma! How’re you sweety? You were absent yesterday. I heard that you had toothache. How’s your toothache now?

I was saying all these to her at a go …

And she said to me ‘Did you miss me?’ with such deep affectionate look at me and with a softer voice that it almost melted my heart with pure bliss …

It was so heartwarming, I immediately gave her a hug and said, ‘Of course, I missed you dear. I missed you so much.’

It seemed she felt good to hear those words for her and then she hugged me for a few seconds and smiled ….

And then she noticed my buddy taping fingers

‘What happened?’ – serious concerns with full of innocent sympathy

‘It just was an accident my dear.’ I answered.

‘Is this hurting you?’ She couldn’t get it what’s that!

‘Well, yes! A little’ ….

‘How did it happen?’ – asked like an adult as if she would understand the whole situation …

She kissed my buddy taping and asked me, ‘Should I draw something on your bandage? So it’ll be cured faster.’

‘Oh dear! Really? You can draw of course.’

Then she brought out her special colour box and said to me, ‘I want to use the colors that you prefer today. Cause it’s your bandage on your hand.”

Then I chose some colors, pink, purple, green yellow …

She drew this one. She drew a heart, a flower …. For me ….

She asked me, ‘Did you like it?

I know you all know what my answer was to her …

Now you tell me, ‘Do you like this Little Joy’?’

Do you value such little joy in your life?

How sometimes we get someone’s affection and we don’t even notice ….

How sometimes you know that you’re someone special in someone’s heart, and yet you do not care much or ignore or you take that for granted …

How often we do not acknowledge these little joys of life …

Often I do find these ‘Little Joy’ moments in my life and I value them deeply. I believe life is made up of these little moments, precious memories, vulnerability and love that all add up to create a big canvas of your life. We should know that the bigger picture cannot be made without all the small moments that bring it all together. So

‘I hope you find, as I did, that happiness comes from noticing and enjoying the little things in life’

Dwelling in the Eternal Love

Wanted to meet you wearing my white Kanchipuram saree in front of Taj Mahal …

Now you’re coming to the hospital
To see me …

It would be quite an unexpected sight …
But my heart is pounding at the very thought of it …

– Hello, are you okay?
– Yes, I’m okay.
– I’m sorry.
– Why are you sorry? There’s nothing you could’ve done. It was supposed to happen the way I was so clumsy on the road
– Why were you …
– Umm. I’m sorry …

I couldn’t tell him, my heart was restless at the very thought of meeting him for the first time ever …
So I was a bit unmindful and acted clumsily, and silly on the road and there the accident happened in the middle of the midnight …

– Hey, don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I’m coming to you.

Instantly there’s this faster beating of my heart at the very sound of him saying, ‘I’m coming to you.’

I wanted to meet you wearing my very traditional Kanchipuram white saree.
It’s as elegant as Taj.
I feel gorgeous in it.
I have been keeping it aside the day we planned to meet in front of Taj.

Now you are coming to the hospital
and I m wearing this dull hospital gown!
How ironic is that ….. !

Oh, no! I think I could see him.
That’s got to be him …
How am I sure!
Why not …
I have seen him so
Many times in my dreams …
I know how he walks, how he looks, how he would talk to me …

Oh no! I dreamt of conversation over coffee with him …
Now?
What will I have with him?
Or is he bringing soup and fruits for a patient (that’s me)?
Unfortunately ….

He’s looking here and there …
Not sure of the direction, I guess …
Should I call him?
Tell him to come straight over here …
I’m just behind this long glass door and
Precisely just follow the directions from where faster loud heartbeats are coming…
That’s mine
How can I manage my heart palpitations?
I can hear it…
It’s unmanageable …

Now, yes he’s near and has found me …
Waving his hand in a friendly smiling manner …
I’m just feeling shy even to wave back a little bit …
As if I have become all still!
My heart is beating so fast
And I do not want him to see me like this …
Nervous and blushing
Hey, but I’m sick …
My heart rate can be high
And I can blush a bit
Fortunately ….

There’s this beating in my heart, and
It sounds like you …
You told me when you would meet me,
You’ll recite my favourite poem, and that’s
The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
“Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky”
Now you won’t be reciting the poem …
Now you’ll just sit in front of my hospital bed
And talk this or that …
As if I would be in pain listening to your recitation, you would think …
But trust me, I won’t be in pain
To listen to you …
Now
I don’t know if you can hear me properly
Cause at the back of my mind, I’m hearing you reciting, ‘Let us go then, you and I’ …
I also feel to just leave this place
You and I …

How boring this place is
For two strangers to meet for the first time …

– Hey, finally, I’m able to see you. How are you now?
(Your thoughtful words for me)
– I’m just fine. The doctor said I can leave by 3 pm …
– Really? That’s awesome then. It’s already 1 pm. Should we finalize the papers and payments etc?
– Oh! Don’t worry! That’s already done. I just can wrap up all the papers and medicines.
– Where’s your lugguge?
– There’s a locker for the patients without attendance. So they kept those there. My hotel pickup car will soon arrive …
– What? No ways! I’ve my car and you’re coming with me. I may drop you there. You’ll finish the checked in at your hotel and then take some time to freshen up. Then we’ll go for an early dinner, I mean if you would feel fine. Or we can meet tomorrow again. Don’t worry.

While he was saying all these words there, I was thinking all in my mind,
‘Then I’ll wear my white Kanchipuram saree for the dinner with him which I wanted to wear to meet him for the first time in front of Taj Mahal.’

He saw my blank look and suddenly I heard him asking,
– Don’t you trust me?

There my heartbeat paused for a bit and I told him,
– I trust you.
– Did you listen what I said?
– Yes, I did …
– Good. So all’s settled then…

Finally we’re getting into cozy conversation…
A quiet conversation
Dwelling
In the eternal love …

.

To be continued ….

Tell me, if it were you written this dialogue style poem, what title would you use for it?

I’m just curious ….

A Melancholic Music

You are like a music
Which creates melancholic
moods inside my heart …
A melody that lingers, night and day …
I take time to listen to it,
I find myself enchanted;
When nothing seems to ease my restlessness
I listen to you, my music
To walk the long journey of life
Even though it only creates melancholic moods
But you are like that music to me
Loving, healing, heart-touching
Connecting my soul to you
Forever and always ….

Apharwat Peak, Gulmarg