Let silence reigns…
Afterwards let words flow freely, endlessly through us, like a gentle stream ….
Let certain words remain unsaid …
Let some words remain unheard …
Let silence reigns …
For if all is voiced
What remains in the silence?
For if all is listened
What remains in the voice?
Let blank pages be as it is
For me and you, for the time being or for long, long time …
Let silence reigns …
Afterwards let words flow freely, endlessly through us, like a gentle stream, unbound, serene and graceful ….
#roksanatales
Most days, when it’s Friday, I remember that on such one Friday I entered his city, and he didn’t show up …
Do you know what I was thinking when I stepped out of the airport? I never been to this airport and unfortunately I was going to stay only the night at his city ….
Our hotel cars were outside the airport. We girls got into the cars and the car was passing through the airport road to get to the city centre … the full moon was racing with us, I was watching it through the car window …with my wandering heartbeats on …
I wanted to believe that he will be there to surprise me. So without any contact with him, I was still hoping that I may see him in there at the hotel lobby and for that I was feeling a bit nervous, ‘What if he actually comes!? Should I go outside to grab coffee with him as he wanted to take me out for a coffee, or should I ask him to have dinner at the hotel restaurant as it was already late because of the delayed flight. We won’t get time for a coffee break somewhere else.’ – to be honest I was feeling very nervous too. And more importantly, I needed to give him the gifts that I’ve been carrying throughout my whole trip,… So I needed to unpack my luggage!”
“Oh no! That would be a mess!” – I was thinking about all these in my mind …
Then we reached the hotel. The lobby was normal with less people. I looked around a little bit more. “Was there any face that was searching someone?” – I was looking here and there and was thinking about this – “Oh! better if he doesn’t come now.” As if I can recognise him. I never saw him even. How stupid and pathetic I was! I was thinking, ‘I want to freshen up first and then I’ll be coming down again for dinner, and may be by that time he would come and I may offer him dinner Dosa at the hotel restaurant’ … I still can’t believe that I was thinking all of these even without any confirmation from him to meet me here! Feeling too much angry at myself ….
However, after the hotel formalities were done, we went up to our room and then I came down with my travel mate and by that time I grew a feeling of no expectation that he would come. ‘If I expect, it’s going to hurt me. It’s alright’ – I was thinking to make myself feel better and now I’m waiting for my dosa with an expectation of having a good dinner, because I was so hungry by that time through so many things and all of these unsure traumas …
Unfortunately
-A delayed flight disappointed me …
-‘He’ disappointed me (He didn’t come. He didn’t confirm he would come though. Still I felt disappointed as if it’s all his fault…. )
-Dosa disappointed me (I was so hungry and I was craving dosa, but it was a disaster)
Now what?
A dilemma …
To keep or not to keep the gift packet at the reception desk!
My poor little handmade gifts for him, and few other things – should I keep my gift packet for him to pick later on when he gets to know that I was at his city and about all of these!
Poor me and my surprise gifts!
Wish he would know how brave it was for me to accept his coffee date for sometime in the middle of the night …
It won’t make sense if he never comes and by that time I started having headaches. I must sleep for sometime, and so I did, having a medicine …
It was 3 AM in the morning, again our cars were on the road of his city to reach the airport. This time I took some videos of the road as a memory of the city.
Long ago when the young girl in me visited this city, she was a carefree young girl who didnt know what does disappointment means! At that time she treasured the memory of visiting the famous amusement park with her siblings – it was full of fun, laughter and pure innocent joy. That time she left the city with delightful memories.
Now she’s leaving the city with the gift she so lovingly brought here for someone she never met before, but whom she thought she knew for a long time ….
This time she was innocent too, as her feelings were so deep and true, but she didn’t understand why she would be disappointed for someone who didn’t even know about the gifts she’s been carrying for him.
But for what reason, she was upset – she didn’t understand though she’s not a carefree young girl anymore …
But she was upset, confused and disoriented because now she was carrying the gifts to bring back home and carrying a strange unknown heart leaving a bit of her heart in this dark city!
Dark, because she entered it with a strange unknown feeling and it was nighttime though the moon was there (a relief to my eyes) and dark, because her heart was broken for a completely unknown, strange, unspecified reason so she was in denial for long …
It was a Friday night entering his city and on the morning of Saturday my flight took off from his city …
So on Fridays, most times it reminds me of
that Friday when I was in his city, and he didn’t show up …
A delusion!
#roksanatales
It’s a long post. I’m sorry for that. If you’ve read the whole story, thank you and tell me if you’ve ever felt the same? Or any instance that you might have felt ….
Your thoughts are coming in waves …
Ceaselessly, constantly …
Crashing upon my mind’s shorelines;
Uncontrollably …
#roksanatales
Hijr/ urdu
(n.) the feeling of having lost or been separated from a loved one ….
My canvas of delight is
Dancing bright …
My passion is igniting
A colorful sight …
My soul is painting
A tranquil choir …
My emotion is healing
With peace and fire …
#roksanatales
Meraki
(v.) to do something with soul, creativity or love; to leave a piece and essence of yourself in something you do …
What if it all works out?
What if you get that call?
What if today goes unexpectedly well?
What if you have what it takes?
What if you meet someone unexpectedly?
What if today you make the day best with what you have?
What if someone is praying for you?
What if you receive that one mail?
What if someone has special feelings for you?
What if someone tells you that?
What if you go on that trip with someone for a day or two?
What if the trip takes you to another state of mind?
What if you return with a complete different state of heart?
What if you do not know what’s next?
What if the best is yet to come?
What if great things are on the way?
What if you don’t search for any answer?
What if the answer is within you?
I love all the ‘What ifs’ …
What ifs’ give me hope …
#roksanatales
If someone asks me,
‘What did you do today?’
I won’t be hesitant to say,
‘It was difficult but I could breathe the day …
It’s a hopelessness yet hope found its way …
Though I cannot predict if all will be well,
But I tried my best, trying to break through the spell …
#roksanatales
It rained a lot today, a lot, a lot, a lot; after a long, long, long time. …. It made me a bit contemplative …. Does this happen with you when it rains?
.
.
Sielvartas/ lithuanian
(n.) This term means deep sorrow or ‘soul tumbling’. It can simply be a state of seemingly endless grief …
What broke your heart so bad
That you had to close every door,
That you say you have a dark soul
And can’t utter the word ‘love’ anymore?
Sanhita Baruah
Quite heartbroken wounded words these are, yet so beautifully expressed, I think. So I shared with you all …
I loved these lines so much that I even tried to recite in my naive voice. About the recording and my voice, I think I sound too childish, and that makes me feel nervous about it. It might sound boring to some, and it’s a bit dramatic also, as if I was actually telling you …
I hope you know this …
Love & Light,
Roksana
Echoes of your absence linger
In the winds of change; …
These days! ….
My heart aches
Unknowingly and why do
‘I miss you’? – I strangely sigh
These days! ….
#roksanatales
Heimweh/ german
(n.) a longing for home
Can I sit with you without any words just for a while?
#roksanatales
Serendipity/ english. ser·en·dip·i·ty ˌser-ən-ˈdip-ət-ē :
(n.) finding something beautiful without looking for it …
Serendipity in love signifies the magic of unplanned moments and the joy of discovering a special connection where you least expect it
I sit alone by the brook,
A thought, interrupting, time and again-
Better I put my words aside …
#roksanatales
Natsukashii/ japanese
(n.) A nostalgic longing for the past; Fondly remembering something with a wistful sense of nostalgia ….
Steadily, casually
I’ve become accustomed
To reading your words ….
What an enchanting time
It is ….
To be drawn to you
To be close to you …
Steadily, casually
Reading your words
I’ve become accustomed
To finding my heart …
#roksanatales
Lost, found, blooms anew …
Mountains stand in silent strength …
Far, but near, a song unfolds …
Oubaitori/ japanese
(n.) the idea that people, like flowers, bloom in their own time and in their individual ways ….
A remarkable day today, A Monday! Je t’aime comme tu es ….
I♥️
#roksanatales
Coffee rings tell tales of art,
Creativity …
#roksanatales
Javaphile
(n.) someone who loves coffee
Moments linger, serene and soft
Time embraces our cherished moments,
And memories bloom, and serendipity stays …
#roksanatales
I’m in love with this music. And you?
.
.
La reponse c’est l’amour/ french
(phr.) “Love is the answer”
If only I could express what is in my heart
#roksanatales
Lovers’ shadows blend,
Whispers in the moonlit night,
Embrace painted stars …
#roksanatales
Between the lines of a muted conversation,
Unspoken tales form a quiet foundation …
Heartbeats echo the stories concealed,
In the silent spaces, emotions revealed …
‘Don’t wake me …
I’m not dreaming’ …
#roksanatales
Gaman/ japanese
(n.) Gaman is a Japanese word of Zen Buddhist origin which means ‘enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity’. The term is generally translated as ‘perseverance’, ‘patience’ and ‘tolerance’ …
The shadow cast
On that starless skies,
Where murmurs linger,
Subdued goodbyes …
A tune of melancholy’s song,
In thy heart where echoes long …
Oh this melancholy,
My silent guest,
A tear-stained story, unspoken, and so blessed
The weight of contemplation
In shades of gray,
In twilight hours, grips its sway …
A canvas painted with dull hues,
A whirlwind of memories, tattered and bruised …
Through hazy veils of nostalgic dreams,
The world in silent sadness gleams …
A poet’s pen on pages bare,
Twisted verses of a sincere prayer …
Thy melancholy’s tender art,
Nothing but a symphony of hurting heart …
Yet, in the depth of still despair,
Belongs a beauty, rare and fair …
A gentle solace for the mind
In the shadow of the ancient find …
So let the tears of misery flow
Like mists on a window’s glow …
For in melancholy’s gentle grace
There lies a balm for life’s embrace …
#roksanatales
I want to slow down in life. I want to be steady. Why run? Where to run? Where to fly? Everything will be fine …
Take a deep breath …
#roksanatales
You and me. A love story …
#roksanatales
A man doesn’t need brilliance or genius, all he needs is energy
Albert M. Greenfield
Keep a little place,
Like a little ‘zen zone’ for yourself
Have a cup of coffee there …
Do some mindful drawings …
Read some books …
Write some poetry, musings, or something philosophical …
Or do nothing …
In midst of strangers
It can become a little mindful meditation
With every sip of bliss ….
Keep a little ‘zen zone’
For you
Feel the crave to be there
And come here when you need to be ….
But before you leave
Define how you prioritise yourself
Over every other things ….
And do not make it an easy place
Where you can find an escape
Whenever you feel like …
Rather make it special
As you would make any other thing special
And keep it as sacred as
It’s supposed to be for creating
Little ‘Zen Zone’ for yourself ….
Here’s one of my little ‘Zen Zone’ …
Where’s your little ‘Zen’ Zone’ place?
.
#roksanatales
Zen Zone
“Your introvert zen zone is an area where your senses need to be soothed by their surroundings — the key word being “zen.” For instance, you should be able to practice mindfulness meditation there if you wish.”
Define love. It’s patience and sacrifice …
#roksanatales
It’s
quite
a feeling
normalising
missing someone …
Missing you is love …
#roksanatales
Don’t you think so?
A royal escape with some happy laughter
And sometimes some happy tears …
Together with you only I’ll go to such escape
Again and again, now and always
And throughout all the coming years of any age …
Together we’ll visit
The Louvre Museum to see Mona Lisa
To see her mysterious beauty
Her smile is a mirror of me and
Like me, the curve of her lips speak wisely …
Her eyes have an unspoken love, dear
What would she say if she could speak?
Darling, if you want to know
Then ask me only …..
By the flowing Blue Nile
We’ll thread a dream strong
The mightier streams will pass it
To other mightier throng …
We’ll also keep the magic of love
By the brilliance shades of Pyramids
See, the beautiful Giza is near
They say, it’s west of the Nile clear …
Will we see Sphinx, Pharaoh’s face?
We’ll discover the mysteries of that phase
Together
The moon shines brightly upon the Great Wall
It’s lying like a great dragon along the sky
Three thousand years of wind and rain come by
It’s path is natural, strong and magnificent, just like you
It’s a long journey on the Great Wall
And I’ll be close to you, talking and walking about too …
Let’s get an appointment at the Eiffel Tower
As in the ‘Sleepless in Seattle’,
You may love it’s rooftop,
High, high, very high ….
Together from there
We’ll make our journey and we’ll fly
Screaming to the world, ‘Goodbye’ ….
Taj Mahal, no doubt, we’ll see
It’s a sign of eternal love
The gardens, the palace
The embroidered doors, walls and marbles
In all its beauty, a wondrous splendour …
But it brightens no brighter, darling
As it brightens in your heart’s core ….
We may dive in the Pacific Ocean
Its waves are like lustrous strands
Inviting us to light the deep with our love …
We may sit by it’s beach
And listen to the calling of the sea-gulls
We’ll find rocks and shells
We’ll walk hand in hand
Enjoying the ocean’s smell …
It would be excellent
To walk a Hollywood Fame …
You and me will act the roll
As they act in ‘You’ve got Mail’
I’m sure we’ll achieve a glamorous name …
Live orchestra of ‘Love-story’
In Italy, will be a joyful sight
The every thought, the music says
It says of the wish of a beautiful night …
We’ll ride a New York subway
We’ll play hide and seek
Station after station
We’ll laugh and not fray
Our laughter will keep the wind
Soothing
For others to breathe more and to pray …
Sweetheart, we’ll plant our flowers
We’ll see the blue open sky
We’ll see watch stars at night
And we’ll do something different everyday
To be kinder and to be more bright
We’ll feed a hungry child
With one word of gentle love
With one look more smiling to him
It’s a divine pleasure
It’s never a charity to any other
But to ourselves darling,
It’ll build our truthful insight, undoubtedly …
A Royal Escape of such happy laughter
With some happy tears is a pleasure …
As we grow together, with smiles
I’ll be escaping with only you
To many phases and places
Again and again, now and always
And through out all the coming years of any age …
#roksanatales
It’s my personal favourite with some error, here and there. And I know it’s a bit long than my usual ones, but I love this long poem and I hope you would love it too to read it all ….
And here I mentioned about Taj Mahal ….
Don’t know why I didn’t mention Pahalgam or the BETAAB Valley … Kashmir is my recent favourite place, absolutely, say like forever ♾️ 🥰
So should I include the place in this Royal Escape? Tell me ….
And tell me also where would you escape if there’s any chance of you being able to take such escape …
I’m sorry I took a lot of time
I never thought
You would notice let alone ask me about it ….
So I am a bit nervous, feeling a bit overwhelmed
It’s a bit difficult for me …
Can the answer wait?
I may reply a bit later but
I don’t know
May be or may be not …
If I do not take time now
And say that I wish to say …
Then it may sound vulnerable
Again it may or may not be
To you; I do not know ….
Just your presence lingering for a long, long, long time now without a trace of heartache …
And it’s better unsaid to you …
May be or may be not
But I’ve never been happier to fall like this …
And then I’m a bit upset also
That you’ve noticed
Even if you noticed
Why did you have to ask me?
You made me awkward …
And that’s why I was a bit upset …
Couldn’t you be silent?
There are so many things to tell
I have so many words to say
May be not now, or may be now
I believe it’s happening
You’re becoming my idle thoughts …
Then what’s the fuss about it?
Then what’s that ‘May be or may be not’ at all? …
#roksanatales
Forelsket/ norwegian
(n.) the euphoria experienced you begin to fall in love
——————~falling in love~———————
I’m happily lost in your thoughts …
In other words, I’m yours
.
#roksanatales
Nan Nikkeoya / korean
(phr.) “I’m yours”
.
I love words. They’re like petals on a flower.
His look is one of the most
Distinctive in fashion;
Though quite an escapist mode
He owns …
His dominant movement
Has made him one of that
Dominant icon …
A timeless form within,
Bringing the
Unfinished make-up of
The star to my whole being …
Often I wonder
A velvet scarf would appreciate
The beauty more …
Often I think …
The sky blue,
Royal blue,
And rose-gold would reflect
The imagery of his style in my mirror …
In vivid expression,
His is a simpler,
A softer look …
He is his time
And communicates
With a youthful spirit …
As I want more than
Only adoration,
I want insight, an intellectual curiosity
To provoke a luxurious fabrics;
Such as cashmere, or
Duchess satin,
Grey flannel and more …
These do bring forth a nostalgic beauty
To my man’s beauty …
And I’m happy
That often I design him
In Sunday’s best silk with
Traditionally delicate lace …
And this is the centre of all his
Charms defined by me …
Though some fragile knits
And beads are always there …
Still, it’s a fabulous fit for us …
The clothes are all clean and white
Thats what set up our own label,
A chosen one for the privileges …
It’s beyond passion
It’s forevermore with the beloved …
The essence of this passionate heart is
Rooted in his bold and unique spirit …
After all these settled
Fashion and styles,
He often says
Quite fashionably,
‘His heart wears nothing
But only one jewellery’ …
Often he says to me,
‘He treasures nothing but
One precious treasure’ …
And that his precious jewellery
Is me …
#roksanatales
I am getting drunk with you
I am getting sober with wine …
I am walking on water with you
I am swimming through air so fine …
#roksanatales
If I look deep enough I think I’ve always loved to paint. But that didn’t happen until 2020. Painting came as a healing journey during pandemic time and I delve myself into in a kind of hypnotic allures of colorful emotion. I was a full time teacher back then. In 2021 I left my teaching job and start living my dream life of being an artist. Though it wasn’t my plan and surely it didn’t come easy, but it was all about a healing gift for me.
Over the years I created so many paintings and organised self-initiated events from awareness programs to rooftop exhibition and in-house exhibitions to fund-raising projects for underprivileged children and people and my paintings displaying in fairs, wander ventures and pop-up sales and receiving admirations from all over the world and very recently, JBC initiating wellness programs under art therapy and colorful date with mindful conversations.
It’s an incredible journey which I’m enjoying immensely and all the things I do for my Jian Bird Creates, I do with all my heart and soul. The universe has been kind to me, and true are the words from The Alchemist, ‘And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it’ – as if it was happening for me without me knowing it because I was so busy in creating the wonders that were coming to my mind and everyone around me, specially my whole family, few beautiful friends and very very specially My Lama girl giving heart and soul for my wonders …
Happy Birthday my dearest friend Roksana Amelia
Love you to the moon, stars and beyond ⭐️
Life is a blessing. Bless it with all your heart wherever you’re ….
To the unknown
To the uncertainty
To the chaos
To the infinity
#roksanatales
Roksana Tales 