There’s a Buddha in me saying,
‘When in doubt and confusion, pause.’
There’s a soulmate in me saying,
‘Do not fear. Be vulnerable. Love.’
#roksanatales
In Pattaya, Thailand
Musings
Tag: everythinghappens
Towards You
It wanders towards you – my heart
.
.
#roksanatales
#sixwords
You’re …
You’re
My prayer and
My faith deeper than the deepest ocean …
You’re
My certain without reasons
My happiness without doubt …
You’re
My ballad, a musical dancer …
My chaos in search for an answer …
And you’re
My rainbow through the clouds
Now, here and wherever we’re …
#roksanatales
Dwelling in the Eternal Love
Wanted to meet you wearing my white Kanchipuram saree in front of Taj Mahal …
Now you’re coming to the hospital
To see me …
It would be quite an unexpected sight …
But my heart is pounding at the very thought of it …
– Hello, are you okay?
– Yes, I’m okay.
– I’m sorry.
– Why are you sorry? There’s nothing you could’ve done. It was supposed to happen the way I was so clumsy on the road
– Why were you …
– Umm. I’m sorry …
I couldn’t tell him, my heart was restless at the very thought of meeting him for the first time ever …
So I was a bit unmindful and acted clumsily, and silly on the road and there the accident happened in the middle of the midnight …
– Hey, don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I’m coming to you.
Instantly there’s this faster beating of my heart at the very sound of him saying, ‘I’m coming to you.’
I wanted to meet you wearing my very traditional Kanchipuram white saree.
It’s as elegant as Taj.
I feel gorgeous in it.
I have been keeping it aside the day we planned to meet in front of Taj.
Now you are coming to the hospital
and I m wearing this dull hospital gown!
How ironic is that ….. !
Oh, no! I think I could see him.
That’s got to be him …
How am I sure!
Why not …
I have seen him so
Many times in my dreams …
I know how he walks, how he looks, how he would talk to me …
Oh no! I dreamt of conversation over coffee with him …
Now?
What will I have with him?
Or is he bringing soup and fruits for a patient (that’s me)?
Unfortunately ….
He’s looking here and there …
Not sure of the direction, I guess …
Should I call him?
Tell him to come straight over here …
I’m just behind this long glass door and
Precisely just follow the directions from where faster loud heartbeats are coming…
That’s mine
How can I manage my heart palpitations?
I can hear it…
It’s unmanageable …
Now, yes he’s near and has found me …
Waving his hand in a friendly smiling manner …
I’m just feeling shy even to wave back a little bit …
As if I have become all still!
My heart is beating so fast
And I do not want him to see me like this …
Nervous and blushing
Hey, but I’m sick …
My heart rate can be high
And I can blush a bit
Fortunately ….
There’s this beating in my heart, and
It sounds like you …
You told me when you would meet me,
You’ll recite my favourite poem, and that’s
The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
“Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky”
Now you won’t be reciting the poem …
Now you’ll just sit in front of my hospital bed
And talk this or that …
As if I would be in pain listening to your recitation, you would think …
But trust me, I won’t be in pain
To listen to you …
Now
I don’t know if you can hear me properly
Cause at the back of my mind, I’m hearing you reciting, ‘Let us go then, you and I’ …
I also feel to just leave this place
You and I …
How boring this place is
For two strangers to meet for the first time …
– Hey, finally, I’m able to see you. How are you now?
(Your thoughtful words for me)
– I’m just fine. The doctor said I can leave by 3 pm …
– Really? That’s awesome then. It’s already 1 pm. Should we finalize the papers and payments etc?
– Oh! Don’t worry! That’s already done. I just can wrap up all the papers and medicines.
– Where’s your lugguge?
– There’s a locker for the patients without attendance. So they kept those there. My hotel pickup car will soon arrive …
– What? No ways! I’ve my car and you’re coming with me. I may drop you there. You’ll finish the checked in at your hotel and then take some time to freshen up. Then we’ll go for an early dinner, I mean if you would feel fine. Or we can meet tomorrow again. Don’t worry.
While he was saying all these words there, I was thinking all in my mind,
‘Then I’ll wear my white Kanchipuram saree for the dinner with him which I wanted to wear to meet him for the first time in front of Taj Mahal.’
He saw my blank look and suddenly I heard him asking,
– Don’t you trust me?
There my heartbeat paused for a bit and I told him,
– I trust you.
– Did you listen what I said?
– Yes, I did …
– Good. So all’s settled then…
Finally we’re getting into cozy conversation…
A quiet conversation
Dwelling
In the eternal love …
.
To be continued ….
#roksanatales
Tell me, if it were you written this dialogue style poem, what title would you use for it?
I’m just curious ….
Meeting among The Mountains
I dreamt of walking
On mountains
And
I dreamt of meeting
You ….
Here I’m walking
On the lands of magical mountains …
High above the crowds and the clouds,
Under the ancient pine trees
I’m in its close embrace ..
Surrendering to the magnificence …
Believe, I could see nothing
In the thread of mist
Caressing the wind
Everywhere I see
You …
Only you …
#roksanatales
Heart full of gratitude for this gift of being alive to see the magnificent heavenly beauty by The Divine.
Kashmir, Heaven on Earth
Detached Attachment
I was waiting
For you
And you didn’t show up
while my odes started to burn …
A heartache …
After a while,
There a humble person came along ..
Seemed so at the moment …
I asked him to take a picture of me and
There I sat at the corner of a bench
In the garden …
Took some time to
Get my mood toned
Up my unsettled face …
There the man waited patiently …
A gentleman ….
Once it’s all set yet unsteady
As I was,
I heard the man said, ‘Ready?’
Twinkled at him and said, ‘Yes’
Smiling …
With the chilly breeze that was
Passing through
I preferred my warm
Jacket kept aside
And my heavy heart smile
For the warmth I needed ….
A harmony ….
Later on I welcomed a friendly
Conversation with the stranger
He seemed to like all of it …
My chitter-chattering
And laughter flowed freely, naturally …
Then we started walking
In the garden, blooming all around
An attachment ….
The balance was the two umbrellas
For each of us,
His violet, mine yellow one
We were walking and talking
Keeping the in-between distance mindfully yet our heart-felt notions were quietly replaying …
The undefined mysteries of the world, meanwhile …
Letting love in our heart, unknowingly …
After a while, we faded into our different paths
Just two strangers with memories
A detachment ….
.
.
.
#roksanatales
Tell me, what is that one odd yet beautiful encounter you experienced in your lifetime?
I wish …
I wish
I were a bird!
So that I could
Fly to you
Just right now …
#roksanatales
I Sense You ….
In the stillness of the lake
As I keep still,
I sense you
I sense a feeling of warmth
Flowing inside me …
I sense a reflection of you
Residing inside me …
So beautiful and mesmerising …
Then
I sense the strength to move along
In various ups and downs of life
With you and you only …
.
.
.
#roksanatales
.
.
.
Midst the Silence …
Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
My hurt inside is too loud …
Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
I’ll never ever forget you …
Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
I just don’t want to let you go
But inside I know I must …
.
.
#roksanatales
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pondering
Is a reflection of you
A mirror of a beautiful reflection of me?
Or
A reflection of you
Is nothing but a beautiful reflection of me.
#roksanatales
In Silence …
If you’re silent,
I know in silence you say more …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t want to know about you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t feel what happens to you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t remember you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t care about you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t miss you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t love you …
I miss you
I know you
I care for you
I remember you
I feel for you
I love you
Always …
#roksanatales
It Doesn’t Matter
I know it’s strange
But I do adore you as you are …
And it doesn’t matter
If we live far away from
Each other …
I know it’s strange
That I don’t know about you,
And I didn’t see this coming
But it doesn’t matter
If I constantly long for you
hopelessly …
I know it’s strange
But I love you way too much
And it doesn’t matter
If you can’t prevent me
From loving you forever …
.
.
#roksanatales
.
Collide!
The dawn was breaking
You looked at me
I looked at you
The place was a haunting one
The light was shining
And
You and I collide
Yet we never kissed …
You never touched my face …
What could I say?
What could I do?
There I stood, unknowing
What’s happening
In a world full of billions
There were you
Mixed with all of the chaos
Inside and Out
At that very moment
I somehow felt
You and I collide
For a reason …
When
The dawn was breaking
You looked at me
I looked at you
…
#roksanatales
Chaos – A Painting
Darlin’, don’t quit your daydream
It’s your life that you’re making
It ain’t big enough if it doesn’t scare the hell out of you
If it makes you nervous
It’s probably worth it
Why save it for sleep when you could be living your daydream?”
Daydream
Song by Lily Meola
I did this painting late at night around 2 am in the morning and this song is so true … When certain words move people, they show how much power they have to make changes …
Be afraid, but do it anyway …..
I have given this painting this title, CHAOS. As a child I was forever daydreaming. As I grow older, I find chaos in fulfilling my daydreaming. Some days I win, and some days, I fail. However, I never lose hope and continue to daydreams. I don’t know whether it’s good or bad, but it does make me feel good and helps me mentally settled with all my daydreams and I keep moving as time and space drive me to eternity. I m sure to leave behind a legacy of grit and perseverance.
“My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart.”
– Maya Angelou
❤️
Have you ever felt chaos in chasing your daydreams? I think that’s what it is always for most people …. What do you think?
#roksanatales
#JianBirdCreates
#JianBirdGallery
I hope you will love the video as well.
Could Never Go Back
Fantasy
.
Without spectacles I can not see you …
Without spectacles I wish to see you …
#roksanatales
Jaduu Ki Jhappi – A Magical Hug
.
Did you give Jaduu Ki Jhappi to her today?
Jaduu Ki Jhappi means Magical Hug.
This hug is so powerful that it’s given so tightly, yet so tenderly with all the care and affection that one feels for another, that it itself makes a whole lot difference without saying much words and you both deserve this Jaduu Ki Jhappi always.
Never miss to give it when your beloved needs it; Never hesitate to ask for it when you need it from her, your lover, your best friend …
Your Jaduu Ki Jhappi means the world to her, remember that.
Love your beloved like you never take her for granted, scold her if she is not taking care of her, pamper her like a little girl, protect her as you are her only bodyguard, hold her like you will never let her go❤️ –
“Jaduu Ki Jhappi” says all of these and more to the lovers …
.
#roksanatales
So tell me
Have you given Jaduu Ki Jhappi to your beloved today?
Unresolved
She asked him a stupid question …
He kept himself quiet saying nothing …
In the nothingness of this silence she felt embarrassed …
But never ever embarrassment felt so good to her.
#roksanatales
What was the question by the way? ☺️
Unuttered
.
I struggle to convey in words
What I want to say to you ..
I talk to you every day
You may not hear me
Word by word;
But you already know it all, I know …
You remain so quiet …
Day by day you are becoming quieter
(Oh! How I hate it!)
It seems that you want me to
Remain quiet too …
Cause all these chattering
May make it messier between us
And I can see that too …
Sometimes I think
I will stay quiet …
May be, only then
I’ll be free from
My struggle to say it all
To you.
#roksanatales
Have you ever experienced such inexpressible moments to express yourself in your life?
Yearning
.
Have you seen her cheeks lately?
How can you see?
You remain so busy!
Now a days the busy hours have increased a lot
Even you forget to give her
The one you have taken from her ….
Have you seen her cheeks recently?
How can you see?
Why would you have time to look?
You have a job to do with your life and then it’s all going well for your life, you think!
Your life is quite fine even without seeing her at all …
Have you seen her cheeks just for a while?
A glance?
See, what she has done to her!
As if there is no one in the world without you, no one …
Her mind is not in the worldly affairs also.
She spends her whole day sitting beside the window,
Waiting for you …
Sometimes she even thinks she’ll go straight to the grave without showing her cheeks to you!
Have you seen her cheeks for a moment?
Do you remember how you loved the colours of spring on her cheeks!!
Remembering this the tears roll down her cheeks now …
Now when you see her again (if you have time)
You’ll wonder
How you have forgotten the form of her cheeks in the moonlight!
Now if you see her once, you’ll be in love touching her cheeks again … soft and angelic ..
You’ll be the breeze to her cheeks ….
She will smile with dimples appear on the ends of her lips.
Bringing back the colours of spring on her rosy cheeks, once again ….
.
#roksanatales
Wonder how you bring the vibrant colours of spring on your loved ones’ cheeks ….
The Ache That Would Not Leave’ – A Painting
“Behind the hum and routine of daily living, there lay a persistent and wild longing for something she could not easily put into words. It felt like impulsive adventures and watching the sun rise over unfamiliar mountains ….
The truly heartbreaking part was that she could feel the remaining days of her life falling away, like leaves from an autumn tree, but still this mysterious person who held the key to unlock her secrets did not arrive; they were missing, and she knew not where to find them.”
-John Mark Green
#roksanatales
#JianBirdCreates
#JianBirdGallery❄️
I treasure my painting moments ….
What are your treasured moments?
Rendezvous
I know exactly
How it would be to meet you …
.
It might happen
That I might be busy observing you
Once if we meet ever …
It might happen
That I might forget to drink water
In front of you …
.
Which colour do you like?
How do you smile?
Are you talkative?
Or quiet like me!
Or you talk gibberish like me
I m sure I might talk gibberish in front of you though …
Out of my belly butterflies 🦋
.
I ll be busy
Observing you
How do you look?
How do you talk?
What do you prefer wearing?
Are you nervous?
Do you need your space to feel relaxed a little bit
Then you would get up and go to the outside for a while … (to take deep breaths?!)
Have you also forgotten to drink water
In front of me?
Just like me?
.
Exactly how you will start the conversation
With me?
Would it be casual or formal?
I think you ll be formal
Gradually you ll be casual that I know
It might happen after a while
That we both are laughing on a joke
The joke might be just about our time …
That our time is so silly billy
.
I know
How it would be to meet you …
However it might happen that
I will never see you in life …
.
But look, I swear
In the solemn silence of everyday dawn
I meet you from afar!
Everyday I meet you as the soft yellow sun rises in the far away skyline
And the birds sing to me the prose of our meeting
And the soft breeze portrays to me
Exactly how our first meeting would be …
.
Now tell me
Can I not know you from afar?
What do you say?
.
#roksanatales
Conversation Over Coffee ☕️
It was raining here …
She called him with a cup of coffee in her hand.
It was raining there too …
He received the call with a cup of coffee in his hand.
She said, ‘What are you doing?’
He said, ‘I’m drinking coffee and watching the rainstorm. And you?’
She said, ‘I’m drinking coffee too by the window, watching the raindrops falling on the trees in my garden. Enjoying it.’
He said, ‘How’s your treatment going on?
She said, ‘fine.’
He said, ‘Well, that’s good to know. Why did you call now?’
She took a moment. Then …
She said, ‘I missed you.’
He took a moment. Then …
He said, ‘Do you miss me just as a friend or as a guy?’
She said, ‘As a guy!’
He took a pause. Smiled a little bit.
She took a sip from her coffee cup as if to relax a bit with the words spoken finally to him.
The pouring rain was making a beautiful breeze.
They both felt it on their way.
From here to there.
From there to here.
He said, ‘I’m done with the house. I even sleep here sometimes. It’s pretty. I did a pretty nice job.’
She said, ‘I plan to visit soon.’
He said, ‘What?’
She said, ‘May be in about ten days. Next weekend!’
He said, ‘Why are you coming? Are you coming to jump into the sea here? Don’t you even think so. You’ll freeze to death, you know. The water gets cold in winter. You know that, na?’
She said, ‘Why are you saying this and that? Why will I jump into the sea? I’ll be coming to visit you. Not for any other reason.’
He said hurriedly, ‘Okay. Let’s hang up. I’m busy.’
Then he smiled a sweet smile after such a long time.
Then he started singing, ‘If you ever need me, just give me a call. I’ll run over to you whenever. Whether it’s raining or hail-storming, I don’t care.’
Then she smiled a sweet smile as if she was hearing his song. 🎵
It was raining here.
It was raining there.
Their conversation was going on and on …
In the rain.
Mi Amor
Everyday with the rising sun, I wake up
To feel loved and peaceful …
Everyday I feel thankful for a love, so beautiful ….
Everyday
Hearing the tune of your heartbeats,
I go crazy ….
Everyday
Feeling the warmth of your every word,
I yearn to hear more ….
Everyday
Looking at your smile,
I lose myself ….
Everyday
Melting in your fond embrace,
I feel a glow ….
Everyday, consistently, constantly
I love you more
Everyday I fall for you, Mi Amor ….
#roksanatales
Dear Taj, I Met You
.
Dear Taj
You are a sign of my eternal love
I still remember the very first moment I met Taj
A beauty stood in front of me
First time we met, I could see
That Taj and I were meant to be ….
.
Dear Taj
You are my evergreen flower
Grows of fine and purest white
And delicate with fresh new leaves
Growing by its side
Shining through quietly
The sun was out there with warmth and dazzling light
Bewildered by its unspoken beauty
There I shivered and I didn’t talk to anybody ..
I wandered in its classic passageways
I was silent for long and
I forgot the moving earth around …
I was lost
In the gardens, the palace, the embroidered doors, walls and marbles ….
In all its beauty and ecstasy
I was sure of one thing that
I was looking for something
That I searched in silence …
.
Dear Taj
I met you …..
I felt if time could stand still
I’d freeze it here
Close and near
With all its mystery
Filled with love so pure
Given to you.
.
I wore a serene smile
I was barefoot for a while
My tiny little fingers shivered
When Taj touched me and I was so drawn to it
And at that very moment
I painted my sacred pilgrimage
Enveloped with love and peace …
Dear Taj,
For eternity
You are a mysterious beauty
Within me ….
A wondrous splendour
Like a beautiful song
I’ve found
What I have been searching for
A beautiful emotion in my heart …
My Taj, I met you
Dreaming I’ll meet you again
I remember saying to you
‘See you soon my darling
See you soon.’
After that I have been travelling through many moon
And there,
My dear Taj
Waits a lyrical waiting to greet me….
So here I m waiting to meet Taj as we are meant to be together.
So with heavenly light
Flowers bloom, birds sing
The blossoms reaching for the sun
Breathing the scented hues
Spreading the warmth of a promise
With fragrance in the air
With harps, with joy
With hope, with spirit
Within the beautiful blooming
Taj Mahal, I long to see you again ….
.
Dear Taj
Again I’ll see you
For a perfect peaceful solitude made for two
Again I’ll touch you
Your whisper would touch my cheek
Again I’ll blush
You’ll say …
‘Come now and rejuvenate with joy!’
Held by the arms I would step forward
Together with the one who is
My mystery, my dear Taj …
Enamour
I feel a little alive and happier
Now a days
It’s all because of you …..
I feel a more lost and restless
Now a days
It’s also because of you …..
#roksanatales
Forget Me Not
Even though I’m a little late
Forget me not ….
Don’t forget the bits and the pieces
Of my soul
When I won’t be around ….
Don’t forget, no matter what!
#roksanatales
Wavelength
He says, ‘Hello’
She says, ‘Hello o o o’
Just this much!
And they say nothing else …..
.
However they talk a lot
With themselves all day long ….
.
Now this silence and noise
Echoing of a wavelength connecting their minds,
Echoing of a wavelength that prefers speechless songs,
Echoing of a wavelength from the same frequency they send in the sky.
.
Well, that’s very odd!
From a simple ‘Hello’ to finding this colourful ‘Wavelength’ symphony.
.
A good vibe though!
What do you say? Hello o o!
.
#roksanatales
Fireflies
Let my love surrounds you
Like fireflies
A little light with wings
To fascinate your world wherever you are!
If you ever be in the midst of gloom
And loneliness envelops your soul,
I will always be right there
Like hundreds of shimmering fireflies
To light up your world …
#roksanatales
He knows
He is perfect anyways,
And he doesn’t need to change anything.
Just he has changed my life
completely—
I never told him that, but I think he knows!
#roksanatales
