Blooms glow … Hope is in petals bright Nature promises in breeze …
#roksanatales
Part of my morning rituals are spent in my little varandah garden! It refreshes me …. Love the sound of the chirping birds, the warm light, smell of the wind and greens and flowers … Some days I read here with a glass of warm honey water and some days a cup of tea … with a little conversation … These days are Ramadan days, the most blessed days and I’m healing from my broken finger …. I hope it’ll be alright soon … and everything too
Most days, when it’s Friday, I remember that on such one Friday I entered his city, and he didn’t show up …
Do you know what I was thinking when I stepped out of the airport? I never been to this airport and unfortunately I was going to stay only the night at his city ….
Our hotel cars were outside the airport. We girls got into the cars and the car was passing through the airport road to get to the city centre … the full moon was racing with us, I was watching it through the car window …with my wandering heartbeats on …
I wanted to believe that he will be there to surprise me. So without any contact with him, I was still hoping that I may see him in there at the hotel lobby and for that I was feeling a bit nervous, ‘What if he actually comes!? Should I go outside to grab coffee with him as he wanted to take me out for a coffee, or should I ask him to have dinner at the hotel restaurant as it was already late because of the delayed flight. We won’t get time for a coffee break somewhere else.’ – to be honest I was feeling very nervous too. And more importantly, I needed to give him the gifts that I’ve been carrying throughout my whole trip,… So I needed to unpack my luggage!”
“Oh no! That would be a mess!” – I was thinking about all these in my mind …
Then we reached the hotel. The lobby was normal with less people. I looked around a little bit more. “Was there any face that was searching someone?” – I was looking here and there and was thinking about this – “Oh! better if he doesn’t come now.” As if I can recognise him. I never saw him even. How stupid and pathetic I was! I was thinking, ‘I want to freshen up first and then I’ll be coming down again for dinner, and may be by that time he would come and I may offer him dinner Dosa at the hotel restaurant’ … I still can’t believe that I was thinking all of these even without any confirmation from him to meet me here! Feeling too much angry at myself ….
However, after the hotel formalities were done, we went up to our room and then I came down with my travel mate and by that time I grew a feeling of no expectation that he would come. ‘If I expect, it’s going to hurt me. It’s alright’ – I was thinking to make myself feel better and now I’m waiting for my dosa with an expectation of having a good dinner, because I was so hungry by that time through so many things and all of these unsure traumas …
Unfortunately -A delayed flight disappointed me … -‘He’ disappointed me (He didn’t come. He didn’t confirm he would come though. Still I felt disappointed as if it’s all his fault…. ) -Dosa disappointed me (I was so hungry and I was craving dosa, but it was a disaster)
Now what?
A dilemma …
To keep or not to keep the gift packet at the reception desk!
My poor little handmade gifts for him, and few other things – should I keep my gift packet for him to pick later on when he gets to know that I was at his city and about all of these!
Poor me and my surprise gifts!
Wish he would know how brave it was for me to accept his coffee date for sometime in the middle of the night …
It won’t make sense if he never comes and by that time I started having headaches. I must sleep for sometime, and so I did, having a medicine …
It was 3 AM in the morning, again our cars were on the road of his city to reach the airport. This time I took some videos of the road as a memory of the city.
Long ago when the young girl in me visited this city, she was a carefree young girl who didnt know what does disappointment means! At that time she treasured the memory of visiting the famous amusement park with her siblings – it was full of fun, laughter and pure innocent joy. That time she left the city with delightful memories.
Now she’s leaving the city with the gift she so lovingly brought here for someone she never met before, but whom she thought she knew for a long time ….
This time she was innocent too, as her feelings were so deep and true, but she didn’t understand why she would be disappointed for someone who didn’t even know about the gifts she’s been carrying for him.
But for what reason, she was upset – she didn’t understand though she’s not a carefree young girl anymore …
But she was upset, confused and disoriented because now she was carrying the gifts to bring back home and carrying a strange unknown heart leaving a bit of her heart in this dark city!
Dark, because she entered it with a strange unknown feeling and it was nighttime though the moon was there (a relief to my eyes) and dark, because her heart was broken for a completely unknown, strange, unspecified reason so she was in denial for long …
It was a Friday night entering his city and on the morning of Saturday my flight took off from his city …
So on Fridays, most times it reminds me of that Friday when I was in his city, and he didn’t show up …
A delusion!
#roksanatales
It’s a long post. I’m sorry for that. If you’ve read the whole story, thank you and tell me if you’ve ever felt the same? Or any instance that you might have felt ….
In poetry we say, Ink spills from the pen, Words dance upon the page’s breath and Each letters have taken my heartbeat And thus poetry becomes my infinite playground …
#roksanatales
How do you say in poetic verses about your love for writing?
I love to connect through words and I feel so happy when you write to me …. I love to read as well …. Now in poetry, how would you say that?
What if it all works out? What if you get that call? What if today goes unexpectedly well? What if you have what it takes? What if you meet someone unexpectedly? What if today you make the day best with what you have? What if someone is praying for you? What if you receive that one mail? What if someone has special feelings for you? What if someone tells you that? What if you go on that trip with someone for a day or two? What if the trip takes you to another state of mind? What if you return with a complete different state of heart? What if you do not know what’s next? What if the best is yet to come? What if great things are on the way? What if you don’t search for any answer? What if the answer is within you?
I love all the ‘What ifs’ … What ifs’ give me hope …
I won’t be hesitant to say, ‘It was difficult but I could breathe the day … It’s a hopelessness yet hope found its way … Though I cannot predict if all will be well, But I tried my best, trying to break through the spell …
#roksanatales
It rained a lot today, a lot, a lot, a lot; after a long, long, long time. …. It made me a bit contemplative …. Does this happen with you when it rains?
.
.
Sielvartas/ lithuanian (n.) This term means deep sorrow or ‘soul tumbling’. It can simply be a state of seemingly endless grief …
What broke your heart so bad That you had to close every door, That you say you have a dark soul And can’t utter the word ‘love’ anymore?
Sanhita Baruah
Quite heartbroken wounded words these are, yet so beautifully expressed, I think. So I sharedwith you all …
I loved these lines so much that I even tried to recite in my naive voice. About the recording and my voice, I think I sound too childish, and that makes me feel nervous about it. It might sound boring to some, and it’s a bit dramatic also, as if I was actually telling you …
I wear hijab. But she doesn’t like that. So she drew me without the scarf. She asked me if my hair is long, short or medium. Accordingly she tried to draw. She even marked my dimple and so she drew two dimples on the cheeks. But I’ve one dimple on my cheek. She has love for me and so she drew heart ❤️ in her dress to show that she loves me.
She forgot to draw the nose on her drawing and at the end of the class, she looked at the whiteboard as I was giving thanks for her sweet effort, and there she suddenly said, ‘Oh no! Where’s your nose?’ And she quickly gave a dot on the face.
Isn’t it cute?
I took a picture of it to keep it as a precious memory.
Steam swirls, Chaotic warmth in coffee cup, Awake, senses grace, within ….
#roksanatales
Humepenthe/ made up (n.) someone who makes you forget er your pain and sorrow; someone with whom you forget all your worries ….
Humepenthe is a made up word (@cosmosbyrudra) made with combination of human + nepenthe which human form of a drug which was given to people to forget or lessen their pain and suffering in ancient time ….
Between the lines of a muted conversation, Unspoken tales form a quiet foundation … Heartbeats echo the stories concealed, In the silent spaces, emotions revealed …
‘Don’t wake me … I’m not dreaming’ …
#roksanatales
Gaman/ japanese (n.) Gaman is a Japanese word of Zen Buddhist origin which means ‘enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity’. The term is generally translated as ‘perseverance’, ‘patience’ and ‘tolerance’ …
The shadow cast On that starless skies, Where murmurs linger, Subdued goodbyes … A tune of melancholy’s song, In thy heart where echoes long …
Oh this melancholy, My silent guest, A tear-stained story, unspoken, and so blessed The weight of contemplation In shades of gray, In twilight hours, grips its sway …
A canvas painted with dull hues, A whirlwind of memories, tattered and bruised … Through hazy veils of nostalgic dreams, The world in silent sadness gleams …
A poet’s pen on pages bare, Twisted verses of a sincere prayer … Thy melancholy’s tender art, Nothing but a symphony of hurting heart …
Yet, in the depth of still despair, Belongs a beauty, rare and fair … A gentle solace for the mind In the shadow of the ancient find …
So let the tears of misery flow Like mists on a window’s glow … For in melancholy’s gentle grace There lies a balm for life’s embrace …
Ma Belle! Live upon the moonlit skies, The place of hope and butterflies …. Be well pleased with your passionate eyes; Be right there…. And stare at the Gods with proud gaze Be praised and praise …
Ma Belle! You roundly speaker, When you see any betrayal, Don’t you shed tears ….. You get going, keeping head high Without any fear …
Ma Belle! Let all the new faces play, With the tricks they sure will; Let all those pass away… You be calm, quiet and still; If these be right Of day and night, You be chilled and chill.
Ma Belle! Those images that may Gather all the talk of doom, But you think not of a single evil chance; Play out all of your dream so fair, With the host of the air You be heard and hear and dance …
Ma Belle! Until imagination brought It was only a thought, But keep your integrity … Let it be for what it is; They were dead and of a different kind, You be weighed lightly and just don’t mind …
Ma Belle! Pull down the blinds in pride, You be in your country-side; Where the sky falls kissing the earth, On the balance of the wind….. You take a lovely ride Like a new smiling bride ….
Ma Belle! My sweet little Belle! You be known for the care you give And discover the forgotten truth; Your heart is your heart what it should be, That hasn’t changed in years from youth …
Without solitude, Love will not stay long by your side.
Because Love needs to rest, so that it can journey through the heavens and reveal itself in other forms.
Without solitude, no plant or animal can survive, no soil can remain productive, no child can learn about life, no artist can create, no work can grow and be transformed.
Solitude is not the absence of Love, but its complement.
Solitude is not the absence of company, but the moment when our soul is free to speak to us and help us decide what to do with our life.
Therefore, blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge.
If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.
And if you do not know yourself, you will begin to fear the void.
When I was a little girl, everything in the world fell into either of these two categories: wrong or right. Black or white.
Now that I am an adult, I have put childish things aside and now I know that some things fall into wrong and some things fall into right. Some things are categorized as black and some things are categorized as white. But most things in the world aren’t either! Most things in the world aren’t black, aren’t white, aren’t wrong, aren’t right, but most of everything is just different.
And now I know that there’s nothing wrong with different, and that we can let things be different, we don’t have to try and make them black or white, we can just let them be grey.
And when I was a child, I thought that God was the God who only saw black and white. Now that I am no longer a child, I can see, that God is the God who can see the black and the white and the grey, too, and He dances on the grey!
Now that I’m an adult, I no longer think about right or wrong …. I’m just aging gracefully and with a smile Rushing through life’s most beautiful turns and moments … Where it doesn’t really matter What anyone will say …
Now that I’m an adult I no longer feel the necessity To be understood … If I become a good listener and can walk away from the unnecessary chaos around me … That’s enough for me …
Now that I’m an adult I understand me well …. I dance on the clouds … I fly high … I sing in the rain … I make friendships with strangers, If they’re black, white, brown or grey, it doesn’t matter… I trust the path … I enjoy the journey … I reach to where there’s only peace, love and only smiles … I have built a place where sorrows hide and love flying free and high … Thereon my soul itself becomes a love, true love all the time … And God is the God who loves me as I’m … He is ‘Okay’ with my colors whatever that is And keep a smile for me out there high above; Till the time comes to meet my Lord I embrace that colorful space with all my heart, and, fulfill my much needed soul’s quest … Grey is okay, I understand And I love colors though …
This small little artwork in standing frame was chosen by one of my favourite friend for one of her favourite person.
So I wrapped it with all the things that I usually send with the painting, few JBC cards, greeting cards and a hand-written note as a token of gratitude.
My friend received the packet with gratitude and her favourite person received the Mini Mountain painting with grace and appreciation from her.
I remember, I shared one photo image of this Mini Mountain to my friend the day before I sent it to her, and I told my friend, ‘If she (your fav person) keeps this little piece in an aesthetic manner, it’ll be a great fit for any corner of her home’ ….
Then she told me, ‘You know Roksana, your little artwork is going to a home where they’re pretty cultural minded people and they design the walls of their home with different paintings from different categories, such as paintings from famous artist Rafiqun Nabi (Ranabi) and others. And I’ve chosen your art for their home.’ I was speechless; I didn’t know what to say. I was feeling shy and a lot overwhelmed … Thank you Joya for choosing JBC artwork for such a beautiful artistic home.♥️
After three days, my friend sent me a photo of the corner side-table where this little Mini Mountain has found it’s precious space, and my friend wrote to me, ‘Your painting, in the right place now.’
I loved that so much – I looked at the image carefully and I found – Sufi darbesh in white attire … Buddha taking a peaceful nap … George Harrison’s famous Bangla Desh cassette A vintage old-fashioned black land-lined phone A photograph of a young girl … And many more souvenirs and antiques … In midst of all these, my mini mountain painting … Isn’t it amazing?
My happiness knows no bounds … I’m happy that they received my little artwork with joy in their home as it indeed brought joy in my heart creating it.
I love these stories of JBC paintings and artworks …. These are like love-letters to me …
These two little authentic and original artworks, titled ‘Shiny Mountains’ were done on plain color fabric using acrylic paint and metallic paint … And then I embroidered my favourite pine trees on these … And then I used wooden standing frames to put these little paintings inside of the frames … And then I’m happy with the overall presentation of my little beauties … And then some people love these so much that they keep these in such an aesthetic manner to make a corner of their home artistic, just like this …
It might be a quite insignificant tale for others, but it’s never an insignificant story for me. The act of creating art serves as a means of healing for me and a way to exist as myself and in this journey I’ve found solace and a renewed sense of purpose.
It’s so humbling that I feel like I keep on creating and sharing my artworks for each and everyone.
I love these stories around Jian Bird Creates’ artworks and paintings. Truly life is about creating yourself through everyday stories. And I’m very happy that my stories are being created by Jian Bird Creates, a humble brand based out of a room in the Dhaka city of Bangladesh.
Thank you warmly, and for your love, honour and support in JBC artworks.
.
Roksana Amelia Artist & Artrepreneur Jian Bird Creates
A royal escape with some happy laughter And sometimes some happy tears … Together with you only I’ll go to such escape Again and again, now and always And throughout all the coming years of any age …
Together we’ll visit The Louvre Museum to see Mona Lisa To see her mysterious beauty Her smile is a mirror of me and Like me, the curve of her lips speak wisely … Her eyes have an unspoken love, dear What would she say if she could speak? Darling, if you want to know Then ask me only …..
By the flowing Blue Nile We’ll thread a dream strong The mightier streams will pass it To other mightier throng … We’ll also keep the magic of love By the brilliance shades of Pyramids See, the beautiful Giza is near They say, it’s west of the Nile clear … Will we see Sphinx, Pharaoh’s face? We’ll discover the mysteries of that phase Together
The moon shines brightly upon the Great Wall It’s lying like a great dragon along the sky Three thousand years of wind and rain come by It’s path is natural, strong and magnificent, just like you It’s a long journey on the Great Wall And I’ll be close to you, talking and walking about too …
Let’s get an appointment at the Eiffel Tower As in the ‘Sleepless in Seattle’, You may love it’s rooftop, High, high, very high …. Together from there We’ll make our journey and we’ll fly Screaming to the world, ‘Goodbye’ ….
Taj Mahal, no doubt, we’ll see It’s a sign of eternal love The gardens, the palace The embroidered doors, walls and marbles In all its beauty, a wondrous splendour … But it brightens no brighter, darling As it brightens in your heart’s core ….
We may dive in the Pacific Ocean Its waves are like lustrous strands Inviting us to light the deep with our love … We may sit by it’s beach And listen to the calling of the sea-gulls We’ll find rocks and shells We’ll walk hand in hand Enjoying the ocean’s smell …
It would be excellent To walk a Hollywood Fame … You and me will act the roll As they act in ‘You’ve got Mail’ I’m sure we’ll achieve a glamorous name …
Live orchestra of ‘Love-story’ In Italy, will be a joyful sight The every thought, the music says It says of the wish of a beautiful night …
We’ll ride a New York subway We’ll play hide and seek Station after station We’ll laugh and not fray Our laughter will keep the wind Soothing For others to breathe more and to pray …
Sweetheart, we’ll plant our flowers We’ll see the blue open sky We’ll see watch stars at night And we’ll do something different everyday To be kinder and to be more bright We’ll feed a hungry child With one word of gentle love With one look more smiling to him It’s a divine pleasure It’s never a charity to any other But to ourselves darling, It’ll build our truthful insight, undoubtedly …
A Royal Escape of such happy laughter With some happy tears is a pleasure … As we grow together, with smiles I’ll be escaping with only you To many phases and places Again and again, now and always And through out all the coming years of any age …
#roksanatales
It’s my personal favourite with some error, here and there. And I know it’s a bit long than my usual ones, but I love this long poem and I hope you would love it too to read it all ….
And here I mentioned about Taj Mahal …. Don’t know why I didn’t mention Pahalgam or the BETAAB Valley … Kashmir is my recent favourite place, absolutely, say like forever ♾️ 🥰
So should I include the place in this Royal Escape? Tell me ….
And tell me also where would you escape if there’s any chance of you being able to take such escape …
Roksana Tales 