The Weight of ‘Okay’

How many times I say
It’s okay
Even when I’m breaking inside …

How many times I say
It’s okay
While swallowing truths I cannot express …

How many times I say
It’s okay
And hide the tremble in my voice …

How many times I say
It’s okay
Though it was never really a choice …

How many times I say
It’s okay
Till I forget what peace feels like …

On the path to reach ‘Arthur Seat’, Edinburgh

Saying ‘It’s okay’ can become an invisible shield we wear to protect others from our truth, but healing begins when we let our silence speak, and allow ourselves the grace to not always be okay

Even nature does not hide its hurt; the sky weeps, the trees shed, the earth cracks, and in doing so, it finds its way back to balance. In embracing its own cycles of pain and release, nature teaches us that healing is not found in silence, but in allowing ourselves to feel, break, and begin again. So must we …

How many times I say
‘It’s okay’
But know that it’s okay to be not okay …


Express yourself. Be vulnerable

Won’t you?

I♥️

Villimalé

After arriving in Malé, my son and I took a short ride across the water on a cheerful little troller and arrived at Villimalé, a quaint residential island just a breath away from the city, yet carrying a world of its own. We really loved it from our first glance 

At Malahini Resort, we met quite a few Bangladeshi brothers. One of them was Anwar, from Cumilla. He would often talk to us and check in to see how we were doing. The day before we were to leave the resort, he found out that we’d be spending a day in the capital, Malé. That’s when he suggested, ‘You should visit Villimalé (Villingili). It’s really beautiful, peaceful beaches, and you’ll get a glimpse of how the locals live by the sea.’

My son and I decided to follow Anwar’s suggestion. And that’s how after arriving in Malé, we took a little time to check in and freshen up at the hotel and then set off for Villingili

Vilimalé greeted us like an old friend, quiet, colorful, and full of life in the most unassuming ways. We arrived in the afternoon, when the sun had begun to soften and the island was slowly waking up from its midday rest. We strolled along the beach, letting the rhythm of the waves guide us, and quickly realized that this wasn’t just a place, it was a gentle rhythm of living.

Everywhere we looked, there were tiny glimpses of humanity, sweet nothings, really, but the kind that make a place unforgettable. We saw two youngsters sitting on a swing, lost in deep conversation, as if the world around them had vanished. Just a little further down, two elderly citizens mirrored the same scene, also on a swing, equally absorbed in their own quiet exchange. It struck me how conversation, across generations, had found its sacred space here

The island had spaces carved out for everyone. Recreational areas were sprinkled thoughtfully across the land, inviting both the young and old to step out, breathe, and belong. As the sun began its descent, we saw more and more people emerging from their homes, children playing, families gathering near the shore, neighbors leaning against colorful walls exchanging daily stories. There was a profound simplicity in it all, a culture of connection, held together by time, tradition, and tide

One thing I adored was the palette of colors, houses in hues of blue, pink, and green added a joyful softness to the streets. Local buses trundled along quietly, connecting corners of the island, making life easier not just for tourists like us, but for the people who called this place home

At one point, I stopped by a humble juice stall and, with a bit of curiosity, asked the shopkeeper if he had any old coins to exchange for my Maldivian rufiyaa. To my surprise, he smiled warmly, searched through his collection, and found some for me. It wasn’t just a kind gesture, it felt like a small act of honor, a way of saying we see you, and we care. That exchange stayed with me; you know, respect can live in even the smallest interactions

Vilimalé may be a little island, but it left a great impression on us

True that beauty lives not just in landscapes or luxury, but in everyday warmth, in shared swings and sunset talks, and in the quiet magic of simply being present, with a place, and with someone you love

If you ever visit the Maldives, don’t forget to stop by the little island of Vilimalé. Whether you’re there for a stroll, a swim, or simply to slow down, Villimalé feels like a hidden corner of everyday island life

Unexpressed

Letters unread. Feelings never fully said …

I♥️

Luz

Light pours in like a gentle guest
She stands where warmth meets wonder
Paint in her hand, soft power in her stance
The table glows with quiet intention
Each colour catching a piece of the day …

#roksanatales

Luz
Spanish for ‘light’ ….

I♥️

Let Go, and Let Bloom
Mindful Drawing Moments by Jian Bird Creates

It’s so satisfying to host sessions like Mindful Drawing Moments’ – what began on a quiet day with a simple act of curiosity. I invited a few willing souls to join me in the pattern artworks I usually create to calm my mind and return to myself. One participant became two, and slowly, word spread. That’s how ‘Mindful Drawing Moments’ was born: gently, organically, like something blooming in its own time …

Since then, these sessions have become spaces where self-help and creativity meet. Through themes like Kaizen, Kintsugi, Manifestation, Self-Love, and Mindfulness, each gathering offers more than just art, it becomes a mirror, a soft release, a shared breath …

Our recent sessions, themed ‘Let Go and Let Bloom,’ invited participants to reflect through drawing wildflowers, free, untamed, purposeful. Dried flowers from my mother’s garden were placed on the table, not just for beauty, but as a quiet symbol: that even after loss or struggle, something fragile and meaningful can still remain …

The way the participants picked up color, poured their thoughts into shapes, and shared reflections was deeply moving. There was no pressure to be an artist, only an invitation to be present …

We began with simple prompts, one that echoed was: ‘Never mind what they’.
Almost all said: ‘think’.
And so the letting go began …

From releasing judgment to choosing kindness, from holding space for others to forgiving ourselves, each voice in the circle added something honest and real. The drawings bloomed with color, but more importantly, so did the people …

The session closed with open hearts and softened edges. And with each event, Jian Bird Creates now offers a Certificate of Participation, a small reminder that showing up for yourself is something to honor …

Warmly,
Roksana Amelia
Artist, Jian Bird Creates

When Love Arrives

Some things are worth waiting for
Like the first drop of rain after a long dry day
Or a flower opening when the sun feels just right
Love waits too, like the moon behind a slow-moving cloud
It doesn’t rush, doesn’t shout …
But grows quietly, like roots under the ground
The heart keeps hoping, silently, day after day
Like the sea touching the sand again and again
Love returns when it’s ready
And when it does, it feels like breathing again

I♥️

Always, Without Question

When you feel alone
And no one sees you
I’ll still be here
I guarantee that …

When your smile fades
And you forget your worth
I’ll remind you
I guarantee that …

When the world is cold
And you need a hand
Mine will reach out
I guarantee that …

When your voice shakes
And you can’t find the words
I’ll listen with my heart
I guarantee that …

When dreams break
And hope feels far
I’ll believe for both of us
I guarantee that …

Always, without question
I♥️

Like a Note on the Wind

My Dear,

Isn’t it something, how many words we’ve shared today? After all this time, I didn’t expect it, but I think, in my deepest heart, I was waiting for your letter, your voice between the lines …

Lately, my world has felt like a storm, emotionally, mentally, a whirlwind of moments and moods. But even within that, you drifted into my thoughts today. And with that thought came a soft realisation: I was still waiting to hear from you …

Perhaps that says something, not just about timing, or connection, but about how some souls hold a kind of gravity, silently, years after years. Even from a distance, they stay. They stir something gentle, something true. How they have a quiet way of returning, just when you need to hear from them!

I once read in ‘Married to Bhutan’ how being near a river can slow you down, how just standing beside water can make you feel calm and present. That thought stayed with me. And maybe that’s why your words today felt so familiar, like the sound of water flowing, unexpected yet comforting …

With warmth always,
R

Kashmir, 2023

Tell me, do you still write letters these days?

I♥️

Still Love

In quiet, love stays
Unspoken, yet it echoes
Through the silent space …

.

.

.

Maybe it was one of those days when she missed someone in the middle of every chaos happening in her life, and she realised it wasn’t only emptiness, but it held love. Then she scribbled a few lines to express how the heart still keeps speaking to that significant someone …

She called it ‘Still Love’, because, love, when it’s true, doesn’t go away, it simply grows within …

I♥️

Resilience

Winds scatter her thoughts
Wild, aching, yet full of fire
She blooms in soft light …

Go My Way

Today, I poured watercolours onto the paper. I didn’t control the flow. I just let them move, soft, wild, honest …

It felt like life. Sometimes, it makes no sense. But still, I move with it. I let it run through me. I follow what feels true, even if no one else understands it …

Nothing made sense today. Nothing went as planned. But I chose to go anyway.
Go right. Go forward. Go my way …

Because even when nothing goes right,
I can still go right …
In my own way …

Jian Bird Creates, June, 2025

Someone

Someone said nothing and I still heard love …

I♥️

The Gentle Ripples of Yes

The butterfly effect means small actions can lead to big changes. Like a butterfly flapping its wings and causing a distant storm, one quiet choice can shape our future. It shows how everything is connected, even simple moments can lead to powerful transformations over time …

Over the past year, I’ve seen this truth unfold in my own life. A single decision, to take a walk, go on a journey, or say yes to a trip, or to start painting, led to deeper healing and new strength …

There was the trip to the Maldives, a place that was never on my list. I hadn’t planned it, yet it turned out to be a gentle gift. I didn’t know I would need that much in my core, and I would love so much of the stillness of the sea, the crystal-clear color of the water, the softness of the days, it all felt like life was giving me something I didn’t know I needed …

Now, as I reflect, I see that letting myself explore the unknown began with small, quiet steps. Like the flutter of a butterfly’s wings, those moments created ripples I’m still feeling today …

April, 2025, Maldives

And see, I’m learning to trust the small steps because they just might lead me somewhere beautiful …

Butterfly effect is real, I believe, and you?
I♥️

Sabr

If healing means honoring each small win with love, then yes, I’m all in.

Life lately has felt like a handful of mismatched puzzle pieces, confusion, mistakes, fatigue, sudden changes, and that quiet weight of uncertainty. The Edinburgh trip, though planned in a hurry, reminded me that not all plans bring peace. Sometimes, even with good intentions, things get messy, emotionally, physically, logistically. It was far from perfect. And yet we pulled it off. Safely. Together.

Somewhere on the train ride back to London, while everything inside me felt scrambled, I painted tulips. Just small strokes. Just a quiet orchestra of colour, blooming gently across paper. This little painting feels like a symbol now, not of the trip itself, but of surviving the chaos around it. Of still choosing to make something tender while in motion.

Healing, I’m learning, isn’t about always getting it right. It’s about showing up for myself anyway, in illness, in confusion, in exhaustion. It’s about pausing to notice the small things: a safe return, a single flower, a quiet breath. That’s where the love lives. In small, steady steps forward

And today, that’s enough

I♥️

4th May, 2025
Edinburgh to London

Little tulips in a beautiful way
On a train journey from Edinburgh to London

Be spirited, hopeful and optimistic, no matter what!

.

Sabr (صبر) (Arabic) – Patience and quiet endurance through hardship; steadfastness in the face of trials

Étranger

Sometimes, I find myself simply observing those who seem ‘normal’, the way they speak, the words they choose to describe their experiences, how they react, or how they present their abilities with such careful confidence. Their ease in communication fascinates me, as if they instinctively know how to navigate social expectations.

At times, being among them makes me feel out of place, as if I exist on a different wavelength. Yet, I take myself lightly, even when they joke at my expense. I do not mind, because their amusement does not define me. In fact, I feel a strange sense of joy when they fail to understand me, because, deep down, that’s exactly what I prefer.

Those of us who are born different, who experience the world through a mind that society struggles to categorize, are often labeled with terms and diagnoses. But these labels do not define us. We are nature’s unique creation, wired to perceive life in ways they cannot grasp. And perhaps, they do not need to understand us.

Only a few people ever truly see us for who we are, and that is the rarest gift. The most powerful truth is that we are the ones who teach them how to understand us. It is not luck that allows them to connect with us, it is our choice to let them in. And for that, they are truly fortunate …

A tale from a psychologically challenged soul

Cherry blossoms in Ravenscourt Park, London

.

Étranger/ french
Meaning is ‘Stranger’. It reflects the sense of being apart from the norm, of existing on a different wavelength, and not being fully understood by society

A Love Story

A love story happening everyday, here
Now and forever …

They stood by the river
Hands barely touching
The city humming around them
Unaware of the quiet storm within …

Big Ben watched in silence
Counting the seconds between heartbeats
While the London Eye turned slowly
Seeing love form and dissolve in its arc …

The water carried their voices away
Soft confessions lost in the tide
Until only the wind remembered
What they could not say …

A love story happening everyday, here
Now and forever …

London, UK

I♥️

Truth is, I Miss You

Your absence hums like a violin string snapped mid-note
A comet that vanished before its trail could unfold
The eclipse of a lighthouse on a storm-battered coast …

Time crawls, a spider weaving webs of empty hours
Memories linger like fireflies trapped in a jar
Each one dimming, yet refusing to fade into stars …

Your voice was rain stitching needles through thirsty leaves
Now silence looms like an unfinished symphony’s grief
A mosaic missing its most vivid, sacred piece…

I search for you in the scent of forgotten gardens
In waves that speak like poets lost to their stanzas
In winds that carry secrets of unuttered mantras …

Truth is, I miss you like the moon misses its tides
A ship adrift, no constellations to confide
The ache of a heart where all its echoes reside

I♥️

What I know Now

My Dear R,

I hope this letter finds you well. As Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” With that in mind, I wanted to share some important reminders—lessons I’ve learned and wisdom I’ve gathered over time …

First, remember that happiness isn’t just a destination; it’s the journey itself. Think of each moment as a precious gem to be savored. Immerse yourself in what you love, whether it’s painting a vivid canvas, losing yourself in a good book, tending to your garden, or enjoying the company of friends. Don’t hold back. Learn the practice of “wabi-sabi.” While wabi-sabi primarily focuses on finding beauty in imperfection and the transient nature of life, it also emphasizes appreciating simple, everyday moments. Appreciate more of your self-care and personal expression. Dress in your favorite outfits, experiment with makeup, or enjoy a pampering session as a way to celebrate yourself and find joy in small, delightful ways. Embrace and cherish the present moment …

Don’t overthink. Eliminate self-doubt and self-criticism. Don’t ever think you’re not enough; you are enough, just as you are. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Don’t let negative thoughts take root in your mind. Instead, focus on starting a skincare routine, eating healthy meals, maintaining regular exercise or yoga, and taking care of your personal hygiene. Remember, your brain and body are closely linked; when one suffers, the other often does too …

My dear, do you laugh often? Laughter is a reflection of our inner state of being, so let it flow freely. Find that spark that lights up your eyes. Be passionate about something—whether it’s a hobby, a project, playing an instrument, exploring nature, or even just a ride all on your own …

Seek connection and company. Share your joys, sorrows, and daily happenings with the right people. Building and nurturing these relationships is essential for your well-being. The support and understanding of others can provide strength and perspective in difficult times. But also never ever let anyone tell you otherwise or bring you down …

Read as many books as you can, starting from a young age. As George R.R. Martin said, “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies . . . The man who never reads lives only one.” Reading will enrich your life and make the most of your time in the best possible ways …

Please darling don’t forget to walk daily, move, run, or dance, for ‘to keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.'” – Buddha

You have the power to create a beautiful life for yourself. Embrace every opportunity to grow, learn, and love. You’ve got this. The time is now to be bold about who you are. Hold no regrets. Try more things. Cross some lines. It won’t matter to anyone. Love yourself as you are. And remember, you are always beautiful, kind, and worthy of being loved, cared for, and respected.

Consider Oprah Winfrey’s journey. Despite facing significant challenges and adversities in her early life, she embraced every opportunity for growth and learning, ultimately becoming one of the most influential and successful figures in the world. Her story is a testament to the power of self-love, resilience, and the pursuit of one’s true self. As she often says, “The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.”

You’ll discover a unique happiness that comes from simply living and enjoying everyday, mundane pleasures. Imagine a painter who, after years of searching for inspiration in grand landscapes, finally finds true joy in capturing the simple beauty of a sunlit kitchen, a blooming garden, or the quiet streets of their neighborhood. Their art reflects the contentment found in everyday moments, illustrating how the ordinary can bring profound happiness.

Love deeply and passionately. Someone unique will come into your life. He won’t possess the conventional markers of success you once thought were essential in a partner. On your first date, he might give you a ride home on the handlebars of his bike because he doesn’t have a car and can’t afford to rent one. But don’t worry about these. Rather you may find that he’s incredibly funny, intelligent, and has remarkable integrity.

And lastly, be funny, kind, empathetic, caring, and respectful. Be vulnerable. Wouldn’t you agree that these qualities make life richer and more fulfilling?

You warm my heart,
Roksana

A letter to the younger self

The few coloring, drawings, paintings that I enjoyed doing in this July

However, no matter how old you are, there’s always something to learn from any moment or from anyone who is an integral part of your life right now. Learn what you can from those you admire and most importantly from the walk of your own life and apply it in real sense as much as possible ….

What do you think?

I Have a Fondness …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
A fascination with the fragile
The delicate dance of hearts
Walking unsteadily on the edge …
In love …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
At times it seems
Love’s other name is
Broken hearts …
An echo of longing …
A symphony of cracks …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
In love, I find
A beauty in the fracture,
In the spaces …
Where light seeps through the wounds
Where the raw and the real collide
In a blaze of truth and tenderness …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
It’s a mosaic of
Shattered dreams
Pieced together with hope …
A courage of feeling
The audacity of connection …

I have a fondness
For the breaking …
For the way love demands vulnerability …
For the way it strips us bare …
For the way all its flaws are revealed
I have a fondness
For my unguarded heart
Breaking apart …

For in the breaking,
We find the depth of love
The resilience of the beautiful soul …
The beauty of a heart
That dares to love
Even knowing it might break …
That’s how I have a fondness
For breaking apart …

Love

You ask about my love
How deep it is for you …
And the extent of my affection …

My feelings are genuine
And my love is sincere
The moon symbolizes my love …

So tender was the kiss
That touched my heart
Such deep affection
Makes me yearn for you …

You ask about my love
How deep it is for you …
Reflect on this
And gaze above
The moon symbolizes my heart …

Srinagar, Kashmir

Tea or Coffee

You love tea
I love coffee
Each sip, a story
Each cup, a journey …

Your mornings start
With delicate leaves
Unfolding in warmth
A ritual of peace …

Yours and mine!

Mine begin
With bold beans
Ground into essence
A rush of energy …

Together
We blend flavors
Contrasts harmonize
Creating a beautiful combo …

Yours with mine!

In your serenity
I find calm
In my vigor
You find spark …

Two worlds
Two cups
One shared moment
A beautiful combo …

Mine with yours!

Do you prefer tea or coffee?

How did you celebrate International Tea Day?

Tell your tea/ coffee story (if any) …

An Old Soul

It took me quite a while
To understand
That I belong
To the creative world of words ….
Photography holds an undefined attraction,
And painting is a healing journey
For my soul …

A soul that travels
Through the tests and trials
Of my ancestors,
Who endured so much in life.
They emerged from vulnerability,
An innate resilience
Passed down through generations,
Now alive within me …

It might sound quite vulnerable and it’s okay with me. I think I’ve inherited vulnerability from my maternal grandmother. I love her so much and lately

I’ve realized this strange feeling that who I choose to be has nothing to do with how others perceive me. I am under no obligation to let their version of me become the story I tell myself and create it my way ….

Be light and bright 🥰✨🔆☀️

Smile plz

Pondering

In puzzled ponder, a name I’ve heard
Though “Roksana” my soul preferred …
Yet as time passed by
A fondness did arise
Love’s influence moves my heart …
Let the name be my tender song
In love’s embrace, I truly belong …

Quiet Contemplation

Your absence has gone through me, like thread through a needle.

Everything I do is stitched with its color.”

Separation by W.S. Merwin

Nan Nikkeoya

My thoughts are scattered …
Oh dear!

Restless I feel …
My heart aches deeply …
He captivates my heart …

My thoughts are scattered …
Right now …
Oh dear!
I continually shatter my heart,
Dispersing its fragments
Until they touch
The depths of your being,
My beloved …

C’est la vie

My Dear,
It’s likely that as you were writing to me, I was walking back home from work, taking in the beauty of the flowers in my charming neighborhood …

I adore my neighborhood. The scenery is incredibly captivating with its tall trees and beautiful blossoming flowers. I frequently opt to walk home from work, as it’s only 850-1000 steps from my workplace to my home …

So, what I was saying about my neighborhood!

I really admire the shade under the tall trees and enjoy watching the breeze rustle through the colorful bougainvillea. It’s lovely to see people walking along the footpath and enjoying their time. As I passed by the mosque, I noticed people seeking relief from the scorching heat under the trees in front of the mosque. I adore the vibrant colors, the fragrant scents, and the sense of simplicity in that scene.

It was scorching heat outside. And there I found myself embracing the warmth of the surroundings. There was refreshing cool breeze and thoughts of you. It may sound unbelievable, but it’s the truth. Your presence in my thoughts remains unwavering amidst the whirlwind of life’s events. Please, believe that.

So, where was I? I was expressing my fondness for the delightful, blossoming, shady path in my neighborhood and how much I’m fond of you …

Today I took a break from work as I was feeling an intermittent cramping in my abdomen. Some rest will help me feel better. However,. Sudden leave from work leads me to think, “How can I best utilize this extra time at home?” Swiftly, I begin mentally compiling a to-do list. Eventually, I decided to walk back home…

While returning, I found myself feeling happy to see these blossoms and greens. The outside heat was too strong but I cared less and I continued walking, intermittently pausing to capture photographs.

I returned home and checked my email once again. I was so surprised to receive your mail. This news brightened my day so much that now I feel inspired to spend the next few hours painting.

I find great pleasure in painting when my heart is filled with happiness and I was very happy to read your mail. 

Your words and painting will grace my own solitude for today, now and here. 

Do you enjoy solitude?

I eagerly await your response to my somewhat poetic emails.

Have a peaceful, wonderful, blissful day!

Yours truly,
^^

Do you enjoy solitude?

C’est la vie means ‘That’s life’ 😊

Immersed

There once was a curious soul
Wondering how your days roll
What activities fill your time …
It’s something she often wonders about …
Completely immersed in the moment

When I’m happy, either I sing or I paint. when I’m very happy I do both 😊

What do you do when you’re happy or very happy?

I Read It As

A university degree, four books, and hundreds of articles and I still make mistakes when reading, You write to me “good morning” and I read it as, “I love you” …

Mahmoud Darwish

Finding Joy

Desires unmet, dreams fade
Yet, gratitude fills the heart
Finding joy in what we have …

Discovering happiness doesn’t always involve fulfilling your desires.; it’s about cherishing what you already possess and expressing gratitude for it …

Finding Joy in life’s simple yet priceless pleasures, like

-relishing solitude at home
-preparing homemade meals
-writing letters in such era of emojis and instant messaging
-engaging in agenda less conversations with loved ones
-spreading joy with smiles and laughter
-lighting fragrant candles
-tending to plants, and
-expressing ‘I love you’ selflessly and unconditionally
-coming back to home by walking and appreciating the friendly neighbourhood and the beautiful surroundings with greenery and flower blossoming

And many more of such things ….

Please do share some of your small moments in which you find joy ….