I know I’m hurting myself.
This is the finger I injured four months ago, now wearing a ring on it again after so long. This finger was fractured in an accident. I can’t bend it properly or grip well anymore.
I’ve followed the doctor’s instructions and even undergoing physiotherapy, which is still ongoing.
It’s a bit swollen (still swollen while writing) but otherwise fine. As the swelling persists, the finger is becoming increasingly stiff and challenging to move.
Initially I was heartbroken because I couldn’t take it that I can never bend my finger like before. I used to cry for this. I had mental trauma from my pain. I used to hurt myself trying to bend it in different ways and was so hard on myself that it would hurt more later on. I was patient in taking the medication and physiotherapy that included the wax therapy also.
Lately, I often feel unsettled. when I can’t grip the handlebar of my cycle with my left hand and I would become too sentimental about this unfortunate incident.
Well, I had had two major operation in my life so far. Always I hated operation and I had to face those nightmares. Even I experienced terrible car accident. But I survived by the grace of Almighty and didn’t fractured any parts of my body. But never ever I felt so helpless now that I see my stiff ring finger just like this without motion, without emotion, with only a rough feeling.
Just reflecting that sometimes accidents happen beyond our control, and even after we take care of the injury, the pain may persist for long or never goes away for a long long time …
And when your heart breaks, then you may not get back your whole heart again. It already has lots of holes from the breaking. Can we repair our hearts with the Japanese method of Kintsugi by giving us a new heart with gold?
Just asking!
.
.
.
.
Kintsugi, also known as kintsukuroi, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with urushi lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. The method is similar to the maki-e technique. (Wikipedia)
As you know Kintsugi inspires us to embrace our flaws and accept them as a part of life.
I’m also accepting it as a part of my life with grace and love. Also these days I’m feeling that my Almighty had a plan for this happenings, so that I experienced something unusual out of this accident of fractured finger. Now I’m preparing for doing Kintsugi on it to make it flawsome.
Tell me, how do you take care of the pain that’s unavoidable, uncontrollable, and untreatable?
Roksana Tales 