You are lingering Over my head like rain clouds … When will you fall like rain in my heart?
But wait … Not now … Not yet ……
Ever since I’ve acknowledged this f e e l ing Interestingly, I have felt less alone …
There are still some lingering doubts in my mind; though My journey into this has been very unplanned So practicing the pause and silence would probably work, telling myself … And the rain clouds are hovering over me …. Hence taking pause has become easy silently, and solitarily …
As if I’m in love with the bliss of solitude … These rain-clouds are lingering over my head And I’m looking at it from the bright side That they are with me means to me As if You’re with me!
So, wait .… Not now … Not yet …..
Fall like rain in my heart After sometime, after some pauses … Rain in my heart for no reason Let the clouds part, doubts be gone, Fall in love with me … Like a soft, whispering breeze while it rains Only after sometime, after some pauses …
Why is prayer so powerful? It’s because you’re having a conversation with the lord of the universe With the being who gives life Who is the light of the heavens and the earth And you’re not just talking to someone who loves you You’re talking to someone who’s the source of all love and all goodness And prayer doesn’t end what you say to God or what you ask from God …
When you get connected to the source of all positivity Something inside you also changes You get fulfilled You get inspired And most of all you get peace
Wanted to meet you wearing my white Kanchipuram saree in front of Taj Mahal …
Now you’re coming to the hospital To see me …
It would be quite an unexpected sight … But my heart is pounding at the very thought of it …
– Hello, are you okay? – Yes, I’m okay. – I’m sorry. – Why are you sorry? There’s nothing you could’ve done. It was supposed to happen the way I was so clumsy on the road – Why were you … – Umm. I’m sorry …
I couldn’t tell him, my heart was restless at the very thought of meeting him for the first time ever … So I was a bit unmindful and acted clumsily, and silly on the road and there the accident happened in the middle of the midnight …
– Hey, don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I’m coming to you.
Instantly there’s this faster beating of my heart at the very sound of him saying, ‘I’m coming to you.’
I wanted to meet you wearing my very traditional Kanchipuram white saree. It’s as elegant as Taj. I feel gorgeous in it. I have been keeping it aside the day we planned to meet in front of Taj.
Now you are coming to the hospital and I m wearing this dull hospital gown! How ironic is that ….. !
Oh, no! I think I could see him. That’s got to be him … How am I sure! Why not … I have seen him so Many times in my dreams … I know how he walks, how he looks, how he would talk to me …
Oh no! I dreamt of conversation over coffee with him … Now? What will I have with him? Or is he bringing soup and fruits for a patient (that’s me)? Unfortunately ….
He’s looking here and there … Not sure of the direction, I guess … Should I call him? Tell him to come straight over here … I’m just behind this long glass door and Precisely just follow the directions from where faster loud heartbeats are coming… That’s mine How can I manage my heart palpitations? I can hear it… It’s unmanageable …
Now, yes he’s near and has found me … Waving his hand in a friendly smiling manner … I’m just feeling shy even to wave back a little bit … As if I have become all still! My heart is beating so fast And I do not want him to see me like this … Nervous and blushing Hey, but I’m sick … My heart rate can be high And I can blush a bit Fortunately ….
There’s this beating in my heart, and It sounds like you … You told me when you would meet me, You’ll recite my favourite poem, and that’s The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock “Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out against the sky” Now you won’t be reciting the poem … Now you’ll just sit in front of my hospital bed And talk this or that … As if I would be in pain listening to your recitation, you would think … But trust me, I won’t be in pain To listen to you … Now I don’t know if you can hear me properly Cause at the back of my mind, I’m hearing you reciting, ‘Let us go then, you and I’ … I also feel to just leave this place You and I …
How boring this place is For two strangers to meet for the first time …
– Hey, finally, I’m able to see you. How are you now? (Your thoughtful words for me) – I’m just fine. The doctor said I can leave by 3 pm … – Really? That’s awesome then. It’s already 1 pm. Should we finalize the papers and payments etc? – Oh! Don’t worry! That’s already done. I just can wrap up all the papers and medicines. – Where’s your lugguge? – There’s a locker for the patients without attendance. So they kept those there. My hotel pickup car will soon arrive … – What? No ways! I’ve my car and you’re coming with me. I may drop you there. You’ll finish the checked in at your hotel and then take some time to freshen up. Then we’ll go for an early dinner, I mean if you would feel fine. Or we can meet tomorrow again. Don’t worry.
While he was saying all these words there, I was thinking all in my mind, ‘Then I’ll wear my white Kanchipuram saree for the dinner with him which I wanted to wear to meet him for the first time in front of Taj Mahal.’
He saw my blank look and suddenly I heard him asking, – Don’t you trust me?
There my heartbeat paused for a bit and I told him, – I trust you. – Did you listen what I said? – Yes, I did … – Good. So all’s settled then…
Finally we’re getting into cozy conversation… A quiet conversation Dwelling In the eternal love …
You are like a music Which creates melancholic moods inside my heart … A melody that lingers, night and day … I take time to listen to it, I find myself enchanted; When nothing seems to ease my restlessness I listen to you, my music To walk the long journey of life Even though it only creates melancholic moods But you are like that music to me Loving, healing, heart-touching Connecting my soul to you Forever and always ….
The paths and the valleys are glowing There is magic in mountains and waterfalls The air is reciting the story of our love ….
There I felt shy when you came near to me The breeze could hear the breaths of my silent shyness … but I couldn’t …
Here My unheard songs are echoing across the mountains Even though I’m feeling a bit lonely Without you …. Yet this loneliness has a fragrance of you Our love has hopes for tomorrow This distance looks good to me …
The paths and the valleys are glowing There is magic in mountains and waterfalls The air is reciting the story of our love ….
I dreamt of walking On mountains And I dreamt of meeting You ….
Here I’m walking On the lands of magical mountains … High above the crowds and the clouds, Under the ancient pine trees I’m in its close embrace .. Surrendering to the magnificence … Believe, I could see nothing In the thread of mist Caressing the wind Everywhere I see You …
I was waiting For you And you didn’t show up while my odes started to burn … A heartache …
After a while, There a humble person came along .. Seemed so at the moment … I asked him to take a picture of me and There I sat at the corner of a bench In the garden … Took some time to Get my mood toned Up my unsettled face … There the man waited patiently … A gentleman ….
Once it’s all set yet unsteady As I was, I heard the man said, ‘Ready?’ Twinkled at him and said, ‘Yes’ Smiling … With the chilly breeze that was Passing through I preferred my warm Jacket kept aside And my heavy heart smile For the warmth I needed …. A harmony ….
Later on I welcomed a friendly Conversation with the stranger He seemed to like all of it … My chitter-chattering And laughter flowed freely, naturally … Then we started walking In the garden, blooming all around An attachment ….
The balance was the two umbrellas For each of us, His violet, mine yellow one We were walking and talking Keeping the in-between distance mindfully yet our heart-felt notions were quietly replaying … The undefined mysteries of the world, meanwhile … Letting love in our heart, unknowingly … After a while, we faded into our different paths Just two strangers with memories A detachment ….
In the stillness of the lake As I keep still, I sense you I sense a feeling of warmth Flowing inside me … I sense a reflection of you Residing inside me … So beautiful and mesmerising … Then I sense the strength to move along In various ups and downs of life With you and you only …
The dawn was breaking You looked at me I looked at you The place was a haunting one The light was shining And You and I collide Yet we never kissed … You never touched my face … What could I say? What could I do? There I stood, unknowing What’s happening In a world full of billions There were you Mixed with all of the chaos Inside and Out At that very moment I somehow felt You and I collide For a reason … When The dawn was breaking You looked at me I looked at you
If only you would realize some day, how much have you hurt me, If only your heart ever, craves for me or my presence… If only you feel that love again someday for me, If only you are affected someday by my absence… Only you can end all my suffering and this unbearable pain, If only you would know what you could never procure… If only you go through the memories of past once again, Since the day you left my heart has bled, no one has its cure… If only you would bring that love, those showers and that rain… If only you would come back and see what damage you create, I’ve been waiting for your return since forever more… If only you would see the woman that you have made, You said we cannot sail through, how were you so sure? If only you can feel the old things that can never fade, You may have moved on, but a piece of my heart is still with you… I know how I’ve come so far alone; I know how I’m able to wade, People say that I’m insane and you won’t ever come back again… Maybe you would have never made your separate way, Maybe you would have stayed with me and proved everyone wrong… If only you would know the pain of dying every day, If only you would feel the burden of smiling and being strong…
Each flower reflects God’s perfect glory, Quietly drifting along the wondrous things around; Though unfinished it seems, There is magic In its vibrant colours!
.
How vibrant are you in reflecting your magic around?
I struggle to convey in words What I want to say to you ..
I talk to you every day You may not hear me Word by word; But you already know it all, I know …
You remain so quiet … Day by day you are becoming quieter (Oh! How I hate it!) It seems that you want me to Remain quiet too … Cause all these chattering May make it messier between us And I can see that too …
Sometimes I think I will stay quiet … May be, only then I’ll be free from My struggle to say it all To you.
Have you seen her cheeks lately? How can you see? You remain so busy! Now a days the busy hours have increased a lot Even you forget to give her The one you have taken from her ….
Have you seen her cheeks recently? How can you see? Why would you have time to look? You have a job to do with your life and then it’s all going well for your life, you think! Your life is quite fine even without seeing her at all …
Have you seen her cheeks just for a while? A glance? See, what she has done to her! As if there is no one in the world without you, no one … Her mind is not in the worldly affairs also. She spends her whole day sitting beside the window, Waiting for you … Sometimes she even thinks she’ll go straight to the grave without showing her cheeks to you!
Have you seen her cheeks for a moment? Do you remember how you loved the colours of spring on her cheeks!! Remembering this the tears roll down her cheeks now …
Now when you see her again (if you have time) You’ll wonder How you have forgotten the form of her cheeks in the moonlight! Now if you see her once, you’ll be in love touching her cheeks again … soft and angelic .. You’ll be the breeze to her cheeks …. She will smile with dimples appear on the ends of her lips. Bringing back the colours of spring on her rosy cheeks, once again ….
He received the call with a cup of coffee in his hand.
She said, ‘What are you doing?’
He said, ‘I’m drinking coffee and watching the rainstorm. And you?’
She said, ‘I’m drinking coffee too by the window, watching the raindrops falling on the trees in my garden. Enjoying it.’
He said, ‘How’s your treatment going on?
She said, ‘fine.’
He said, ‘Well, that’s good to know. Why did you call now?’
She took a moment. Then …
She said, ‘I missed you.’
He took a moment. Then …
He said, ‘Do you miss me just as a friend or as a guy?’
She said, ‘As a guy!’
He took a pause. Smiled a little bit.
She took a sip from her coffee cup as if to relax a bit with the words spoken finally to him.
The pouring rain was making a beautiful breeze.
They both felt it on their way.
From here to there.
From there to here.
He said, ‘I’m done with the house. I even sleep here sometimes. It’s pretty. I did a pretty nice job.’
She said, ‘I plan to visit soon.’
He said, ‘What?’
She said, ‘May be in about ten days. Next weekend!’
He said, ‘Why are you coming? Are you coming to jump into the sea here? Don’t you even think so. You’ll freeze to death, you know. The water gets cold in winter. You know that, na?’
She said, ‘Why are you saying this and that? Why will I jump into the sea? I’ll be coming to visit you. Not for any other reason.’
He said hurriedly, ‘Okay. Let’s hang up. I’m busy.’
Then he smiled a sweet smile after such a long time.
Then he started singing, ‘If you ever need me, just give me a call. I’ll run over to you whenever. Whether it’s raining or hail-storming, I don’t care.’
Then she smiled a sweet smile as if she was hearing his song. 🎵
Roksana Tales 