I want to slow down in life. I want to be steady. Why run? Where to run? Where to fly? Everything will be fine …
Take a deep breath …
Tag: Silence
Forelsket
I’m sorry I took a lot of time
I never thought
You would notice let alone ask me about it ….
So I am a bit nervous, feeling a bit overwhelmed
It’s a bit difficult for me …
Can the answer wait?
I may reply a bit later but
I don’t know
May be or may be not …
If I do not take time now
And say that I wish to say …
Then it may sound vulnerable
Again it may or may not be
To you; I do not know ….
Just your presence lingering for a long, long, long time now without a trace of heartache …
And it’s better unsaid to you …
May be or may be not
But I’ve never been happier to fall like this …
And then I’m a bit upset also
That you’ve noticed
Even if you noticed
Why did you have to ask me?
You made me awkward …
And that’s why I was a bit upset …
Couldn’t you be silent?
There are so many things to tell
I have so many words to say
May be not now, or may be now
I believe it’s happening
You’re becoming my idle thoughts …
Then what’s the fuss about it?
Then what’s that ‘May be or may be not’ at all? …
Forelsket/ norwegian
(n.) the euphoria experienced you begin to fall in love
——————~falling in love~———————
Happy Birthday Roksana
If I look deep enough I think I’ve always loved to paint. But that didn’t happen until 2020. Painting came as a healing journey during pandemic time and I delve myself into in a kind of hypnotic allures of colorful emotion. I was a full time teacher back then. In 2021 I left my teaching job and start living my dream life of being an artist. Though it wasn’t my plan and surely it didn’t come easy, but it was all about a healing gift for me.
Over the years I created so many paintings and organised self-initiated events from awareness programs to rooftop exhibition and in-house exhibitions to fund-raising projects for underprivileged children and people and my paintings displaying in fairs, wander ventures and pop-up sales and receiving admirations from all over the world and very recently, JBC initiating wellness programs under art therapy and colorful date with mindful conversations.
It’s an incredible journey which I’m enjoying immensely and all the things I do for my Jian Bird Creates, I do with all my heart and soul. The universe has been kind to me, and true are the words from The Alchemist, ‘And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it’ – as if it was happening for me without me knowing it because I was so busy in creating the wonders that were coming to my mind and everyone around me, specially my whole family, few beautiful friends and very very specially My Lama girl giving heart and soul for my wonders …
Happy Birthday my dearest friend Roksana Amelia
Love you to the moon, stars and beyond ⭐️
Life is a blessing. Bless it with all your heart wherever you’re ….
To the unknown
To the uncertainty
To the chaos
To the infinity
Raabta
It’s happening
She hasn’t met someone
She hasn’t seen someone
But she’s falling for that someone …
It’s happening
Unreal yet real but not as real as it is …
Quite inexplicable and yet very true it is ….
Raabta/ urdu
(n.) inexplicable connection with another soul …
I have been suffering from the viral fever of the season for the last two days and this fever is quite different from what I had experienced before. So yesterday even in my feverish head and body, my mind felt to write something, that went like, ‘The cosmos is within us, the dance is absolutely amazing, let the universe find the questions you have, the answers you need” …. Then may be for a second or two, I felt hallucinations … may be or may be not … sometimes high temperatures do cause such things, right? However, I’m all fine with the fever still going on … So today, when I was going through those yesterday’s musings, I dropped the idea of writing further about the cosmos verses one, and really felt passionate about writing this one …
Raabta
So simple, yet I hope you like it ✨♥️
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Enchanting Kashmir’ has a hypnotic bell that keep ringing in my heart and soul … so you may find a lot of videos and images that I so dearly keep sharing … 😊
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Trouvaille
diamond is forever
.
that
you’re a diamond
is true; cause
you sparkle
so
i sparkle;
just as a dew on
a petal; you shine
then i shine
through
you.
you twinkle
there on i twinkle
like a beautiful star
cause a diamond
is forever,
its true.
cause you’re
my diamond
and i love you and
its forever
too.
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trouvaille /truːˈvʌɪ/ French tru vi /
(n.) something or someone lovely discovered by a chance. a lucky find.
Onsra
My heart is full of many things to say to you
But I feel speech is nothing to you at all …
I believe
We shall surely see each other someday
Though I’m afraid I wouldn’t deliver the observations
So far I’ve made ….
The emotions that’s touching me these days,
In moments so weird ….
I believe
Love is an act of forgiveness
A tender look that may become
So sad
But what do I do out of it?
My tender look is my
Strange habit ….
I believe
My undefined patience
And the passion of my angels
Give me much relief
Cause I know you …
Although you show your indifference
But I bet it’s only out of love,
Not hate …
Then suddenly
I get this bittersweet feeling of onsra, that whatever little we have is coming to a close
My heart is full of many things to say to you
But I feel speech is nothing to you at all
Tell me if I’m wrong ….
Onsra/ boro
(n.) the bittersweet feeling of loving for the last time, or realizing your love won’t last
Love Letters …
Love letters, to you. Never received …
Musings
There’s a Buddha in me saying,
‘When in doubt and confusion, pause.’
There’s a soulmate in me saying,
‘Do not fear. Be vulnerable. Love.’
#roksanatales
In Pattaya, Thailand
Fluent in Silence – A Painting
So,
The Girl on the Front Porch by Ron Arnold
if you are
too tired to speak,
sit next to me
for I, too, am
fluent in silence.”
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Tell me, are you fluent in silence?
Detached Attachment
I was waiting
For you
And you didn’t show up
while my odes started to burn …
A heartache …
After a while,
There a humble person came along ..
Seemed so at the moment …
I asked him to take a picture of me and
There I sat at the corner of a bench
In the garden …
Took some time to
Get my mood toned
Up my unsettled face …
There the man waited patiently …
A gentleman ….
Once it’s all set yet unsteady
As I was,
I heard the man said, ‘Ready?’
Twinkled at him and said, ‘Yes’
Smiling …
With the chilly breeze that was
Passing through
I preferred my warm
Jacket kept aside
And my heavy heart smile
For the warmth I needed ….
A harmony ….
Later on I welcomed a friendly
Conversation with the stranger
He seemed to like all of it …
My chitter-chattering
And laughter flowed freely, naturally …
Then we started walking
In the garden, blooming all around
An attachment ….
The balance was the two umbrellas
For each of us,
His violet, mine yellow one
We were walking and talking
Keeping the in-between distance mindfully yet our heart-felt notions were quietly replaying …
The undefined mysteries of the world, meanwhile …
Letting love in our heart, unknowingly …
After a while, we faded into our different paths
Just two strangers with memories
A detachment ….
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Tell me, what is that one odd yet beautiful encounter you experienced in your lifetime?
I wish …
I Sense You ….
In the stillness of the lake
As I keep still,
I sense you
I sense a feeling of warmth
Flowing inside me …
I sense a reflection of you
Residing inside me …
So beautiful and mesmerising …
Then
I sense the strength to move along
In various ups and downs of life
With you and you only …
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Midst the Silence …
Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
My hurt inside is too loud …
Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
I’ll never ever forget you …
Midst the silence of the valley
As I walk through
I feel
I just don’t want to let you go
But inside I know I must …
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Pondering
Is a reflection of you
A mirror of a beautiful reflection of me?
Or
A reflection of you
Is nothing but a beautiful reflection of me.
In Silence …
If you’re silent,
I know in silence you say more …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t want to know about you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t feel what happens to you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t remember you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t care about you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t miss you …
If I’m silent, then it’s not that
I don’t love you …
I miss you
I know you
I care for you
I remember you
I feel for you
I love you
Always …
Dinner Date – A Painting
Once upon a time, there was a couple. They lived together for 55 years. They haven’t yet had their dinner date outside home. This is the first time they are going outside to have their dinner date.….
Story to
Be continued from me …. 😊
Meanwhile you may share your thought of the story of this lovely couple’s very special dinner date.
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Fantasy
Jaduu Ki Jhappi – A Magical Hug
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Did you give Jaduu Ki Jhappi to her today?
Jaduu Ki Jhappi means Magical Hug.
This hug is so powerful that it’s given so tightly, yet so tenderly with all the care and affection that one feels for another, that it itself makes a whole lot difference without saying much words and you both deserve this Jaduu Ki Jhappi always.
Never miss to give it when your beloved needs it; Never hesitate to ask for it when you need it from her, your lover, your best friend …
Your Jaduu Ki Jhappi means the world to her, remember that.
Love your beloved like you never take her for granted, scold her if she is not taking care of her, pamper her like a little girl, protect her as you are her only bodyguard, hold her like you will never let her go❤️ –
“Jaduu Ki Jhappi” says all of these and more to the lovers …
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So tell me
Have you given Jaduu Ki Jhappi to your beloved today?
Unresolved
She asked him a stupid question …
He kept himself quiet saying nothing …
In the nothingness of this silence she felt embarrassed …
But never ever embarrassment felt so good to her.
What was the question by the way? ☺️
Unuttered
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I struggle to convey in words
What I want to say to you ..
I talk to you every day
You may not hear me
Word by word;
But you already know it all, I know …
You remain so quiet …
Day by day you are becoming quieter
(Oh! How I hate it!)
It seems that you want me to
Remain quiet too …
Cause all these chattering
May make it messier between us
And I can see that too …
Sometimes I think
I will stay quiet …
May be, only then
I’ll be free from
My struggle to say it all
To you.
Have you ever experienced such inexpressible moments to express yourself in your life?
Yearning
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Have you seen her cheeks lately?
How can you see?
You remain so busy!
Now a days the busy hours have increased a lot
Even you forget to give her
The one you have taken from her ….
Have you seen her cheeks recently?
How can you see?
Why would you have time to look?
You have a job to do with your life and then it’s all going well for your life, you think!
Your life is quite fine even without seeing her at all …
Have you seen her cheeks just for a while?
A glance?
See, what she has done to her!
As if there is no one in the world without you, no one …
Her mind is not in the worldly affairs also.
She spends her whole day sitting beside the window,
Waiting for you …
Sometimes she even thinks she’ll go straight to the grave without showing her cheeks to you!
Have you seen her cheeks for a moment?
Do you remember how you loved the colours of spring on her cheeks!!
Remembering this the tears roll down her cheeks now …
Now when you see her again (if you have time)
You’ll wonder
How you have forgotten the form of her cheeks in the moonlight!
Now if you see her once, you’ll be in love touching her cheeks again … soft and angelic ..
You’ll be the breeze to her cheeks ….
She will smile with dimples appear on the ends of her lips.
Bringing back the colours of spring on her rosy cheeks, once again ….
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Wonder how you bring the vibrant colours of spring on your loved ones’ cheeks ….
Rendezvous
I know exactly
How it would be to meet you …
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It might happen
That I might be busy observing you
Once if we meet ever …
It might happen
That I might forget to drink water
In front of you …
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Which colour do you like?
How do you smile?
Are you talkative?
Or quiet like me!
Or you talk gibberish like me
I m sure I might talk gibberish in front of you though …
Out of my belly butterflies 🦋
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I ll be busy
Observing you
How do you look?
How do you talk?
What do you prefer wearing?
Are you nervous?
Do you need your space to feel relaxed a little bit
Then you would get up and go to the outside for a while … (to take deep breaths?!)
Have you also forgotten to drink water
In front of me?
Just like me?
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Exactly how you will start the conversation
With me?
Would it be casual or formal?
I think you ll be formal
Gradually you ll be casual that I know
It might happen after a while
That we both are laughing on a joke
The joke might be just about our time …
That our time is so silly billy
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I know
How it would be to meet you …
However it might happen that
I will never see you in life …
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But look, I swear
In the solemn silence of everyday dawn
I meet you from afar!
Everyday I meet you as the soft yellow sun rises in the far away skyline
And the birds sing to me the prose of our meeting
And the soft breeze portrays to me
Exactly how our first meeting would be …
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Now tell me
Can I not know you from afar?
What do you say?
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Cherished – A Painting
I am with you without speaking much
In an intimacy that’s only mine
As free to wander in the silence of the long highway road
As the way the trees shimmer orange, red and yellow in the sunlight …
I am with you without meeting you
In a sacred heart that’s only mine
As a veiled woman would enter a paradise
As God takes care of my every weakness within me …
Dear Taj, I Met You
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Dear Taj
You are a sign of my eternal love
I still remember the very first moment I met Taj
A beauty stood in front of me
First time we met, I could see
That Taj and I were meant to be ….
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Dear Taj
You are my evergreen flower
Grows of fine and purest white
And delicate with fresh new leaves
Growing by its side
Shining through quietly
The sun was out there with warmth and dazzling light
Bewildered by its unspoken beauty
There I shivered and I didn’t talk to anybody ..
I wandered in its classic passageways
I was silent for long and
I forgot the moving earth around …
I was lost
In the gardens, the palace, the embroidered doors, walls and marbles ….
In all its beauty and ecstasy
I was sure of one thing that
I was looking for something
That I searched in silence …
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Dear Taj
I met you …..
I felt if time could stand still
I’d freeze it here
Close and near
With all its mystery
Filled with love so pure
Given to you.
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I wore a serene smile
I was barefoot for a while
My tiny little fingers shivered
When Taj touched me and I was so drawn to it
And at that very moment
I painted my sacred pilgrimage
Enveloped with love and peace …
Dear Taj,
For eternity
You are a mysterious beauty
Within me ….
A wondrous splendour
Like a beautiful song
I’ve found
What I have been searching for
A beautiful emotion in my heart …
My Taj, I met you
Dreaming I’ll meet you again
I remember saying to you
‘See you soon my darling
See you soon.’
After that I have been travelling through many moon
And there,
My dear Taj
Waits a lyrical waiting to greet me….
So here I m waiting to meet Taj as we are meant to be together.
So with heavenly light
Flowers bloom, birds sing
The blossoms reaching for the sun
Breathing the scented hues
Spreading the warmth of a promise
With fragrance in the air
With harps, with joy
With hope, with spirit
Within the beautiful blooming
Taj Mahal, I long to see you again ….
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Dear Taj
Again I’ll see you
For a perfect peaceful solitude made for two
Again I’ll touch you
Your whisper would touch my cheek
Again I’ll blush
You’ll say …
‘Come now and rejuvenate with joy!’
Held by the arms I would step forward
Together with the one who is
My mystery, my dear Taj …
Enamour
I feel a little alive and happier
Now a days
It’s all because of you …..
I feel a more lost and restless
Now a days
It’s also because of you …..
Wavelength
He says, ‘Hello’
She says, ‘Hello o o o’
Just this much!
And they say nothing else …..
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However they talk a lot
With themselves all day long ….
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Now this silence and noise
Echoing of a wavelength connecting their minds,
Echoing of a wavelength that prefers speechless songs,
Echoing of a wavelength from the same frequency they send in the sky.
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Well, that’s very odd!
From a simple ‘Hello’ to finding this colourful ‘Wavelength’ symphony.
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A good vibe though!
What do you say? Hello o o!
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Fireflies
Let my love surrounds you
Like fireflies
A little light with wings
To fascinate your world wherever you are!
If you ever be in the midst of gloom
And loneliness envelops your soul,
I will always be right there
Like hundreds of shimmering fireflies
To light up your world …
He knows
He is perfect anyways,
And he doesn’t need to change anything.
Just he has changed my life
completely—
I never told him that, but I think he knows!
Serendipity
At night
She went to sleep around 11 pm-ish
Slept the whole night to wake up early morning!
Ah! What a beautiful morning and the morning breeze
She is in love with this moment …
Reflecting back the other day ..
Two things hurt her in heart’s core
She was emotional with hurt still attached
Cried a bit or two
She doesn’t want anyone to see it
Made her silent and
She couldn’t get pass of it for long.
Another work made her productive
Tiring yet satisfying ….
And there was another happening that made her happy
For the first time the soul feels joy
As if a blossom in the desert
She felt her worth for an unknown reason
This alone kept her joyful all day long till now
Made her feel she is loved and cared so much …..
They say
Everything happens for a reason.
Then the happening that made her smile and happy has a reason
She falls in love with that reason
At night
She slept long hours …
Her spirit, free and fair
Awoke from its blissful sleep!
As she reflects, humbling herself for a joy she cherishes right now.
Attachment
My canvas is filled with every other color
But without yellow.
Yellow is my favourite color.
Do you know?
How would you know?
We hardly talk….
Yet this painting is my pride and joy.
Roksana Tales 