Musings

I know I’m hurting myself.

This is the finger I injured four months ago, now wearing a ring on it again after so long. This finger was fractured in an accident. I can’t bend it properly or grip well anymore.

I’ve followed the doctor’s instructions and even undergoing physiotherapy, which is still ongoing.

It’s a bit swollen (still swollen while writing) but otherwise fine. As the swelling persists, the finger is becoming increasingly stiff and challenging to move.

Initially I was heartbroken because I couldn’t take it that I can never bend my finger like before. I used to cry for this. I had mental trauma from my pain. I used to hurt myself trying to bend it in different ways and was so hard on myself that it would hurt more later on. I was patient in taking the medication and physiotherapy that included the wax therapy also.

Lately, I often feel unsettled. when I can’t grip the handlebar of my cycle with my left hand and I would become too sentimental about this unfortunate incident.

Well, I had had two major operation in my life so far. Always I hated operation and I had to face those nightmares. Even I experienced terrible car accident. But I survived by the grace of Almighty and didn’t fractured any parts of my body. But never ever I felt so helpless now that I see my stiff ring finger just like this without motion, without emotion, with only a rough feeling.

Just reflecting that sometimes accidents happen beyond our control, and even after we take care of the injury, the pain may persist for long or never goes away for a long long time …

And when your heart breaks, then you may not get back your whole heart again. It already has lots of holes from the breaking. Can we repair our hearts with the Japanese method of Kintsugi by giving us a new heart with gold?

Just asking!

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Kintsugi, also known as kintsukuroi, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with urushi lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. The method is similar to the maki-e technique. (Wikipedia)

As you know Kintsugi inspires us to embrace our flaws and accept them as a part of life.

I’m also accepting it as a part of my life with grace and love. Also these days I’m feeling that my Almighty had a plan for this happenings, so that I experienced something unusual out of this accident of fractured finger. Now I’m preparing for doing Kintsugi on it to make it flawsome.

Tell me, how do you take care of the pain that’s unavoidable, uncontrollable, and untreatable?

15 thoughts on “Musings”

  2. it is wonderfully good that you’re finding the gold in the shine that is missing from this predicament, my friend. Yep, things are never the same once damaged. So, we make the lemonade and enjoy the lemonade, wondering why we dont make lemonade more often. 🙂 — I once had two thumbs that locked up and hurt like awfully. Dr said prolly need surgery. I refused to get cut up. I wore silicone finger braces (like for sewing) — to keep the thumbs from movement — for many months and they healed on their own. — How to heal a broken heart? Aww, i’m so sorry that you’ve had your heart broken many times? Who are all these people hurting our sweet Amelia? — I think the best way to get over a broken heart is to renew our outlook about life and people. Best perspective to consider is that you survived a car accident and that life is precious in many ways, including enjoyment of chocolate cake and good coffee, and that we can avoid toxic people that hurt hearts because we truly don’t need them. — I have culled quite a few people from my life when I see that they aren’t the sensitive souls that I need around me. — p.s. Are you able to type ok, despite this stiff finger?

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  3. I wish you speedy healing! I hurt my right hand a couple years ago by falling off a bike and it has never been the same, so I empathize with your pain.

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    1. Thank you Maranda for your kind words!

      I’m sorry to hear about your hand. It’s tough when injuries have lasting effects. I’m trying to stay positive and hope for the best with my recovery ….

      ❤️✨

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