I began these mindful drawings in a fragile, unsettled state of mind. My thoughts felt scattered, restless, overlapping, too many at once. So I picked up colours and let them move without planning, without forcing sense or structure. I didn’t try to control the flow; I let the flow carry me. As the colours settled, so did parts of me.
While doing this, a thought stayed with me: Is this even anything? Later, that thought came back through others. Some asked, “What kind of painting is this?” Some said, “It has no meaning.” Some looked longer, trying to extract logic, trying to name it, trying to make sense of it. Others simply found it beautiful.
I noticed how familiar this felt. How people always want to define, label, approve, or dismiss. How art becomes a mirror for their own need to understand or control. And I realised, this is not new. This is human nature.
But this wasn’t made for explanation. It was made for survival. For breathing. For letting my scattered thoughts land somewhere gentle
I don’t need everyone to understand it. I don’t need to defend it. People may say so many different things. They always will. And what we need to do is to continue to do what we do, quietly, honestly, and with care! That’s enough!
And somehow, in the midst of all this, these paintings reside in a foreign land, resting there with a grace that still surprises me!
I have a fondness for breaking apart A fascination with the fragile The delicate dance of hearts Walking unsteadily on the edge … In love …
I have a fondness for breaking apart At times it seems Love’s other name is Broken hearts … An echo of longing … A symphony of cracks …
I have a fondness for breaking apart In love, I find A beauty in the fracture, In the spaces … Where light seeps through the wounds Where the raw and the real collide In a blaze of truth and tenderness …
I have a fondness for breaking apart It’s a mosaic of Shattered dreams Pieced together with hope … A courage of feeling The audacity of connection …
I have a fondness For the breaking … For the way love demands vulnerability … For the way it strips us bare … For the way all its flaws are revealed I have a fondness For my unguarded heart Breaking apart …
For in the breaking, We find the depth of love The resilience of the beautiful soul … The beauty of a heart That dares to love Even knowing it might break … That’s how I have a fondness For breaking apart …
I reconnected with that girl anew – Who once embraced life fully … Who danced with every step and radiated joy Whose eyes were some sunflowers, blooming And whose soul ignited fireworks, dazzling …
I played music for that girl again … In hopes that its melody would ignite her spirit within Creating a haven for her to emerge from the shadows And dance once more under the stars …
Knowing that she would find solace within these moments With each sunset painted in hues of gold And each gentle breeze whispering Through the trees …. I hoped to create a sanctuary where she could feel safe enough to reveal herself once again …
Deep within, I felt her presence stirring, A flicker of recognition amidst the silence … Longing for my kindness and effort that shimmered with possibility I vowed to nurture her return To guide her back into the light Where she rightfully belonged .. She belonged to the poetry within her …
#roksanatales
Little Roksana
The pic is from the archive of memories of a young girl; another of her mirror image. She was travelling by train, from Kolkata to Delhi ….
Often these days My thoughts are spreading out to you With too many questions hovering upon me.. Is the heat too intense where you dwell? Are you navigating it with ease? What’s the moisture like in your realm? What’s the humidity level there? I sense the weariness in your words; It seems like a struggle for you; Are you truly alright?
Here, we’re also dealing with scorching heatwaves – Yet, amidst the swelter, my mind wanders to you How do you cope up in this relentless weather? Often these days It crosses my mind …
Do you think of me too, Sometimes?
Do you remember my disdain for humidity, And how it worsens my headaches …. Do you remember my aversion to doctors, Yet now they’re an inevitable part of life?
My heart, already broken by your absence, Feels the toll of days passing … I find myself overthinking, Lost in thoughts of you, Especially in these days, Days of relentless heat, Days of suffocating humidity ….
Though You may never grasp … There’s an essence about you that I can’t shake Even amidst these sweltering heatwaves … A grip on me akin to The greatest tale left untold …
So,
Could you narrate an episode or two from your journey? Could you paint a tale of your eccentric existence? Could you recount an experience For me? To me? In these sweltering heat Amidst the scorching waves there? …
Meanwhile Take care, my dear, Know that I pray for you … In every moment In every humid day and night Of these days ….
Yours truly ^^
#roksanatales
I do drink lots of water in these scorching conditions. I do keep my body cool. Though I hate to use sunscreen, just I avoid sunburn. I do like coconut water a lot. And Nimbu Pani too ☺️. Then I love ice cream too 🤷🏿♀️
She paints grace In glowing yellow … As the brush-strokes Softly glide through her skin … Hers is a delicate face Soothing and serene; Tread with a gentle touch In colors unseen .. That yellow color girl In tranquil pose .. She’s a grace …
#roksanatales
Yellow is my favourite color … which color do you like most?
I won’t be hesitant to say, ‘It was difficult but I could breathe the day … It’s a hopelessness yet hope found its way … Though I cannot predict if all will be well, But I tried my best, trying to break through the spell …
#roksanatales
It rained a lot today, a lot, a lot, a lot; after a long, long, long time. …. It made me a bit contemplative …. Does this happen with you when it rains?
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Sielvartas/ lithuanian (n.) This term means deep sorrow or ‘soul tumbling’. It can simply be a state of seemingly endless grief …
She’s truly honest In her honest prayers … Though within her unspeakable despair And impossibility, She couldn’t go away far; But always come back quite inevitably …
All frailties alone cast upon Her feeble hope that always exits; Her nature reigns upon her own soul … She holds on to her faith; yet so unfair her torments, Make the despair ever greater Widening her tears itself betwixt, She watches feebly all souls’ cruel wits …
Impossibility goes not to heaven Like a weak and an easy prey; Thinking is not same as knowing, So at her best, she spends in praying, Trusting each and everyday. At times, she tries to cease time But not her endless pray ….
(Whatever you wish: You know that you know But know you not; Truth is her lord And always you shall be; ‘My dear, (she whispers) I’ll serve what you deserve, Even if you talk So ungratefully. :Whenever you wish)
The injustice rankles yet More often loving comes to her aid. It is always worth keeping, Her emotion that rises and trips away springs; For the sake of her truth, she brings The words that breathe a reason Scaring the unfinished conversation even with self …
Though her skies are too dark (at the moment) With flowers in odor and in hue in sight, Now she excludes all and wanders through the night … Being more calm and bright, Letting all her doubts, thoughts and emotions pass by To enter the heaven, the endless light,
Lastly, she takes her flight.
So long, she loved at her best, A bittersweet farewell to her dear is the rest … She writes her last inscription just to let you in, ‘Please don’t hurt my soulful prayers, Forgive my selfish tears …. As I would take rebirth in this world, With my passion for you Deep, and fully blooming And quivers with bliss.’
#roksanatales
Above, a bit complex verses, though I think it’s fine …
In a poem I usually use whatever can be called the melody long before I have reached an understanding of all that it might mean. Sometimes I think I can use that to my hearts’ fullness and other time I feel that it’s unfinished yet again conveying the emotions which convince me to love it as it is … To me, poetry attracts when only emotions endures ….
I’m in love with the scenic beauty of the Himalayan Mountains in the backdrop ….and I have never been to any snow-clad mountains up so close. It was a surrealistic feeling for me. I visited Srinagar, Gulmarg, Pahalgam, Sonamarg, Anantnag. I was excited for Gulmarg Gondola, the world’s second longest & second highest cable car 14,000 above sea level with picturesque views. Gondola ride takes around 22 minutes to reach Mountain Apharwat Peak from Gulmarg town and it is worth every minute to visit the peak. Exceptional views of sky and clouds. I was mesmerised by the wonderful view of the magnificent snow clad peaks. I loved the activities that I did, hiking, skiing ⛷️, sleighing. Had yummy coffee and Maggie soup there up on that mountain peak. So interesting!
Apart from Gulmarg Gondola and peak of the Apharwat mountain attractions, I loved Betaab Valley, Pahalgam valley, Dal lake, Zoji La, Baltal, Indira Gandhi Memorial Tulip Garden, Pari Mahal, Night staying on a houseboat and Shikara ride in the fabulous Dal Lake, Horse riding to go to Baisaran Valley – each and everywhere I went, I can write a whole lot of things – but that story I may share later, some other day …
Here let me tell you about how destiny took me to Kashmir ….
I was planning an India trip with close ones. Initially we planned to visit the famous Taj Mahal in Agra, then Jaipur, Delhi also. But there were some situation which made me plan for Kolkata with another school friend. We bought the tickets even. But then again I had to rethink my trip and cancelled the air ticket. Then two of my colleagues wanted to join me for Darjeeling. Again we were making a bit research on this to make a good itinerary for us three. Then that plan also got cancelled. And I was the only one left to make the trip to India. But the timing wasn’t preferable for some reason and I wanted to avoid few particular dates specifically for my youngest sister was coming after months. Then I was in dilemma also, cause I didn’t want to make the trip alone. My family didn’t have any visa. Now I had only few days left to make the trip happen. Lastly within two days I tagged myself with some girls whom I didn’t know and they were going to Kashmir and that again they planned on the days when my sister was coming. With a bit of mixed emotions about not being able to spend time with my chhotu sister, I decided to join that group of girls. So finally I was going to take that solo trip with them whom I never met and they happened to be my travel companions for seven days.
The moment I flew for Kashmir’s, I was terribly missing my family, and sisters back home. And then the moment I landed in one of the Heaven on Earth, I was spellbound by the stars and universe joined in with its magic wand upon me to make me this much enchanted 🤩 🪄….
That’s why if someone asks me, ‘Is Kashmir worth it?”, I would say, ‘You never know until you visit.’
May be Kashmir was destined for me in many layers of undefined ways of life – that story I wish to share some other day ….
I took a lot of pictures and videos. I’m sharing only few here. Let me know if you have liked the Paradise Picturesque photographs by Roksana Tales. I wish to make post cards with some of the moments there.
And
I wish to visit again … Will you go with me?
And
I’m an Orophile, meaning I’m a person who loves mountains …
In the wind A flower brings life, Plain and pure; That you once sowed .. It’s a work that you can see It’s blooming …
In the wind A mystery seems invisible; Believing is the touch, That you once felt .. It’s a work that your mind Can not resist ….
In the wind A yearning hums a tune, Simpler and warm .. That you once met and mingled; It’s a work that you Can not get over it …
In the wind A sound whispers in the ears, Caressing silently .. That you once belonged; It’s a work that you’ve Ever fallen like rain …
In the wind A love brings life That you once gave it all; It’s a work that you can never forget And neither it’s ever over ….
#roksanatales
Commuovere (Italian) /ko’mːwɔvere/ (v.) this word means you’ve been moved or touched or had your heart warmed, by someone. Specifically, it’s a story that has stirred your heart or moved you to tears …
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Sometimes I do feel a bit of strange when I find my mind chooses the words that tread the hazy line between romance, or emotions of two potential lovers or just someone who I may have met somewhere, in my imagination or real, or virtually, or anywhere in the universe, … then I feel that while writing it’s not necessarily solely about me all the time and it’s not what it seems as well and it’s just something that makes me feel happy when I can express certain feelings as it comes within; Often I know, through these words, I simply may portray someone else’s longing, or devotion, or heartbreaking phase, or someone who might be seeking solace from the world of separation, or someone who makes his love stronger even when it’s over … or just about me trying to find the right words to describe an indescribable feeling within ….
😊
Felt a quite chaos while painting it, so I named it CHAOS
Sometimes Somehow I hope A lifetime of promises With you …
Sometimes Somehow I hear You saying all of these To me …
#roksanatales
Sometimes somehow I feel funny writing all these letters of love. Then sometimes somehow I know somewhere someone may resonate all of my these simple, plain and quite undecorated letters of love for themselves … And then all the time I know that the letters of love may differ from person to person, but the in-depth feelings of love remain the same…
Roksana Tales 