I began these mindful drawings in a fragile, unsettled state of mind. My thoughts felt scattered, restless, overlapping, too many at once. So I picked up colours and let them move without planning, without forcing sense or structure. I didn’t try to control the flow; I let the flow carry me. As the colours settled, so did parts of me.
While doing this, a thought stayed with me: Is this even anything? Later, that thought came back through others. Some asked, “What kind of painting is this?” Some said, “It has no meaning.” Some looked longer, trying to extract logic, trying to name it, trying to make sense of it. Others simply found it beautiful.
I noticed how familiar this felt. How people always want to define, label, approve, or dismiss. How art becomes a mirror for their own need to understand or control. And I realised, this is not new. This is human nature.
But this wasn’t made for explanation. It was made for survival. For breathing. For letting my scattered thoughts land somewhere gentle
I don’t need everyone to understand it. I don’t need to defend it. People may say so many different things. They always will. And what we need to do is to continue to do what we do, quietly, honestly, and with care! That’s enough!
And somehow, in the midst of all this, these paintings reside in a foreign land, resting there with a grace that still surprises me!
It’s happening She hasn’t met someone She hasn’t seen someone But she’s falling for that someone … It’s happening
Unreal yet real but not as real as it is … Quite inexplicable and yet very true it is ….
#roksanatales
Raabta/ urdu (n.) inexplicable connection with another soul …
I have been suffering from the viral fever of the season for the last two days and this fever is quite different from what I had experienced before. So yesterday even in my feverish head and body, my mind felt to write something, that went like, ‘The cosmos is within us, the dance is absolutely amazing, let the universe find the questions you have, the answers you need” …. Then may be for a second or two, I felt hallucinations … may be or may be not … sometimes high temperatures do cause such things, right? However, I’m all fine with the fever still going on … So today, when I was going through those yesterday’s musings, I dropped the idea of writing further about the cosmos verses one, and really felt passionate about writing this one …
Raabta
So simple, yet I hope you like it ✨♥️
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Enchanting Kashmir’ has a hypnotic bell that keep ringing in my heart and soul … so you may find a lot of videos and images that I so dearly keep sharing … 😊
Wanted to meet you wearing my white Kanchipuram saree in front of Taj Mahal …
Now you’re coming to the hospital To see me …
It would be quite an unexpected sight … But my heart is pounding at the very thought of it …
– Hello, are you okay? – Yes, I’m okay. – I’m sorry. – Why are you sorry? There’s nothing you could’ve done. It was supposed to happen the way I was so clumsy on the road – Why were you … – Umm. I’m sorry …
I couldn’t tell him, my heart was restless at the very thought of meeting him for the first time ever … So I was a bit unmindful and acted clumsily, and silly on the road and there the accident happened in the middle of the midnight …
– Hey, don’t worry. You’ll be fine. I’m coming to you.
Instantly there’s this faster beating of my heart at the very sound of him saying, ‘I’m coming to you.’
I wanted to meet you wearing my very traditional Kanchipuram white saree. It’s as elegant as Taj. I feel gorgeous in it. I have been keeping it aside the day we planned to meet in front of Taj.
Now you are coming to the hospital and I m wearing this dull hospital gown! How ironic is that ….. !
Oh, no! I think I could see him. That’s got to be him … How am I sure! Why not … I have seen him so Many times in my dreams … I know how he walks, how he looks, how he would talk to me …
Oh no! I dreamt of conversation over coffee with him … Now? What will I have with him? Or is he bringing soup and fruits for a patient (that’s me)? Unfortunately ….
He’s looking here and there … Not sure of the direction, I guess … Should I call him? Tell him to come straight over here … I’m just behind this long glass door and Precisely just follow the directions from where faster loud heartbeats are coming… That’s mine How can I manage my heart palpitations? I can hear it… It’s unmanageable …
Now, yes he’s near and has found me … Waving his hand in a friendly smiling manner … I’m just feeling shy even to wave back a little bit … As if I have become all still! My heart is beating so fast And I do not want him to see me like this … Nervous and blushing Hey, but I’m sick … My heart rate can be high And I can blush a bit Fortunately ….
There’s this beating in my heart, and It sounds like you … You told me when you would meet me, You’ll recite my favourite poem, and that’s The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock “Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out against the sky” Now you won’t be reciting the poem … Now you’ll just sit in front of my hospital bed And talk this or that … As if I would be in pain listening to your recitation, you would think … But trust me, I won’t be in pain To listen to you … Now I don’t know if you can hear me properly Cause at the back of my mind, I’m hearing you reciting, ‘Let us go then, you and I’ … I also feel to just leave this place You and I …
How boring this place is For two strangers to meet for the first time …
– Hey, finally, I’m able to see you. How are you now? (Your thoughtful words for me) – I’m just fine. The doctor said I can leave by 3 pm … – Really? That’s awesome then. It’s already 1 pm. Should we finalize the papers and payments etc? – Oh! Don’t worry! That’s already done. I just can wrap up all the papers and medicines. – Where’s your lugguge? – There’s a locker for the patients without attendance. So they kept those there. My hotel pickup car will soon arrive … – What? No ways! I’ve my car and you’re coming with me. I may drop you there. You’ll finish the checked in at your hotel and then take some time to freshen up. Then we’ll go for an early dinner, I mean if you would feel fine. Or we can meet tomorrow again. Don’t worry.
While he was saying all these words there, I was thinking all in my mind, ‘Then I’ll wear my white Kanchipuram saree for the dinner with him which I wanted to wear to meet him for the first time in front of Taj Mahal.’
He saw my blank look and suddenly I heard him asking, – Don’t you trust me?
There my heartbeat paused for a bit and I told him, – I trust you. – Did you listen what I said? – Yes, I did … – Good. So all’s settled then…
Finally we’re getting into cozy conversation… A quiet conversation Dwelling In the eternal love …
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To be continued ….
#roksanatales
Tell me, if it were you written this dialogue style poem, what title would you use for it?
You are like a music Which creates melancholic moods inside my heart … A melody that lingers, night and day … I take time to listen to it, I find myself enchanted; When nothing seems to ease my restlessness I listen to you, my music To walk the long journey of life Even though it only creates melancholic moods But you are like that music to me Loving, healing, heart-touching Connecting my soul to you Forever and always ….
The paths and the valleys are glowing There is magic in mountains and waterfalls The air is reciting the story of our love ….
There I felt shy when you came near to me The breeze could hear the breaths of my silent shyness … but I couldn’t …
Here My unheard songs are echoing across the mountains Even though I’m feeling a bit lonely Without you …. Yet this loneliness has a fragrance of you Our love has hopes for tomorrow This distance looks good to me …
The paths and the valleys are glowing There is magic in mountains and waterfalls The air is reciting the story of our love ….
Life is somewhat grey Everywhere Just monotony Lost and lonely …
Don’t you know?
Only when you stay Life is colorful …. A hopeful glow Echoes of brighter joy Birds sing cheerful songs Rays of sunshines warm my cheeks My yellow dyed dreams return …
I dreamt of walking On mountains And I dreamt of meeting You ….
Here I’m walking On the lands of magical mountains … High above the crowds and the clouds, Under the ancient pine trees I’m in its close embrace .. Surrendering to the magnificence … Believe, I could see nothing In the thread of mist Caressing the wind Everywhere I see You …
Only you …
#roksanatales
Heart full of gratitude for this gift of being alive to see the magnificent heavenly beauty by The Divine.
I was waiting For you And you didn’t show up while my odes started to burn … A heartache …
After a while, There a humble person came along .. Seemed so at the moment … I asked him to take a picture of me and There I sat at the corner of a bench In the garden … Took some time to Get my mood toned Up my unsettled face … There the man waited patiently … A gentleman ….
Once it’s all set yet unsteady As I was, I heard the man said, ‘Ready?’ Twinkled at him and said, ‘Yes’ Smiling … With the chilly breeze that was Passing through I preferred my warm Jacket kept aside And my heavy heart smile For the warmth I needed …. A harmony ….
Later on I welcomed a friendly Conversation with the stranger He seemed to like all of it … My chitter-chattering And laughter flowed freely, naturally … Then we started walking In the garden, blooming all around An attachment ….
The balance was the two umbrellas For each of us, His violet, mine yellow one We were walking and talking Keeping the in-between distance mindfully yet our heart-felt notions were quietly replaying … The undefined mysteries of the world, meanwhile … Letting love in our heart, unknowingly … After a while, we faded into our different paths Just two strangers with memories A detachment ….
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#roksanatales
Tell me, what is that one odd yet beautiful encounter you experienced in your lifetime?
Roksana Tales 