Musings

Even in your uncertainty, you’re brave, you’re trying, and you’re already enough …

What I know Now

My Dear R,

I hope this letter finds you well. As Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” With that in mind, I wanted to share some important reminders—lessons I’ve learned and wisdom I’ve gathered over time …

First, remember that happiness isn’t just a destination; it’s the journey itself. Think of each moment as a precious gem to be savored. Immerse yourself in what you love, whether it’s painting a vivid canvas, losing yourself in a good book, tending to your garden, or enjoying the company of friends. Don’t hold back. Learn the practice of “wabi-sabi.” While wabi-sabi primarily focuses on finding beauty in imperfection and the transient nature of life, it also emphasizes appreciating simple, everyday moments. Appreciate more of your self-care and personal expression. Dress in your favorite outfits, experiment with makeup, or enjoy a pampering session as a way to celebrate yourself and find joy in small, delightful ways. Embrace and cherish the present moment …

Don’t overthink. Eliminate self-doubt and self-criticism. Don’t ever think you’re not enough; you are enough, just as you are. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Don’t let negative thoughts take root in your mind. Instead, focus on starting a skincare routine, eating healthy meals, maintaining regular exercise or yoga, and taking care of your personal hygiene. Remember, your brain and body are closely linked; when one suffers, the other often does too …

My dear, do you laugh often? Laughter is a reflection of our inner state of being, so let it flow freely. Find that spark that lights up your eyes. Be passionate about something—whether it’s a hobby, a project, playing an instrument, exploring nature, or even just a ride all on your own …

Seek connection and company. Share your joys, sorrows, and daily happenings with the right people. Building and nurturing these relationships is essential for your well-being. The support and understanding of others can provide strength and perspective in difficult times. But also never ever let anyone tell you otherwise or bring you down …

Read as many books as you can, starting from a young age. As George R.R. Martin said, “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies . . . The man who never reads lives only one.” Reading will enrich your life and make the most of your time in the best possible ways …

Please darling don’t forget to walk daily, move, run, or dance, for ‘to keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.'” – Buddha

You have the power to create a beautiful life for yourself. Embrace every opportunity to grow, learn, and love. You’ve got this. The time is now to be bold about who you are. Hold no regrets. Try more things. Cross some lines. It won’t matter to anyone. Love yourself as you are. And remember, you are always beautiful, kind, and worthy of being loved, cared for, and respected.

Consider Oprah Winfrey’s journey. Despite facing significant challenges and adversities in her early life, she embraced every opportunity for growth and learning, ultimately becoming one of the most influential and successful figures in the world. Her story is a testament to the power of self-love, resilience, and the pursuit of one’s true self. As she often says, “The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.”

You’ll discover a unique happiness that comes from simply living and enjoying everyday, mundane pleasures. Imagine a painter who, after years of searching for inspiration in grand landscapes, finally finds true joy in capturing the simple beauty of a sunlit kitchen, a blooming garden, or the quiet streets of their neighborhood. Their art reflects the contentment found in everyday moments, illustrating how the ordinary can bring profound happiness.

Love deeply and passionately. Someone unique will come into your life. He won’t possess the conventional markers of success you once thought were essential in a partner. On your first date, he might give you a ride home on the handlebars of his bike because he doesn’t have a car and can’t afford to rent one. But don’t worry about these. Rather you may find that he’s incredibly funny, intelligent, and has remarkable integrity.

And lastly, be funny, kind, empathetic, caring, and respectful. Be vulnerable. Wouldn’t you agree that these qualities make life richer and more fulfilling?

You warm my heart,
Roksana

A letter to the younger self

The few coloring, drawings, paintings that I enjoyed doing in this July

However, no matter how old you are, there’s always something to learn from any moment or from anyone who is an integral part of your life right now. Learn what you can from those you admire and most importantly from the walk of your own life and apply it in real sense as much as possible ….

What do you think?

I Have a Fondness …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
A fascination with the fragile
The delicate dance of hearts
Walking unsteadily on the edge …
In love …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
At times it seems
Love’s other name is
Broken hearts …
An echo of longing …
A symphony of cracks …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
In love, I find
A beauty in the fracture,
In the spaces …
Where light seeps through the wounds
Where the raw and the real collide
In a blaze of truth and tenderness …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
It’s a mosaic of
Shattered dreams
Pieced together with hope …
A courage of feeling
The audacity of connection …

I have a fondness
For the breaking …
For the way love demands vulnerability …
For the way it strips us bare …
For the way all its flaws are revealed
I have a fondness
For my unguarded heart
Breaking apart …

For in the breaking,
We find the depth of love
The resilience of the beautiful soul …
The beauty of a heart
That dares to love
Even knowing it might break …
That’s how I have a fondness
For breaking apart …

C’est la vie

My Dear,
It’s likely that as you were writing to me, I was walking back home from work, taking in the beauty of the flowers in my charming neighborhood …

I adore my neighborhood. The scenery is incredibly captivating with its tall trees and beautiful blossoming flowers. I frequently opt to walk home from work, as it’s only 850-1000 steps from my workplace to my home …

So, what I was saying about my neighborhood!

I really admire the shade under the tall trees and enjoy watching the breeze rustle through the colorful bougainvillea. It’s lovely to see people walking along the footpath and enjoying their time. As I passed by the mosque, I noticed people seeking relief from the scorching heat under the trees in front of the mosque. I adore the vibrant colors, the fragrant scents, and the sense of simplicity in that scene.

It was scorching heat outside. And there I found myself embracing the warmth of the surroundings. There was refreshing cool breeze and thoughts of you. It may sound unbelievable, but it’s the truth. Your presence in my thoughts remains unwavering amidst the whirlwind of life’s events. Please, believe that.

So, where was I? I was expressing my fondness for the delightful, blossoming, shady path in my neighborhood and how much I’m fond of you …

Today I took a break from work as I was feeling an intermittent cramping in my abdomen. Some rest will help me feel better. However,. Sudden leave from work leads me to think, “How can I best utilize this extra time at home?” Swiftly, I begin mentally compiling a to-do list. Eventually, I decided to walk back home…

While returning, I found myself feeling happy to see these blossoms and greens. The outside heat was too strong but I cared less and I continued walking, intermittently pausing to capture photographs.

I returned home and checked my email once again. I was so surprised to receive your mail. This news brightened my day so much that now I feel inspired to spend the next few hours painting.

I find great pleasure in painting when my heart is filled with happiness and I was very happy to read your mail. 

Your words and painting will grace my own solitude for today, now and here. 

Do you enjoy solitude?

I eagerly await your response to my somewhat poetic emails.

Have a peaceful, wonderful, blissful day!

Yours truly,
^^

Do you enjoy solitude?

C’est la vie means ‘That’s life’ 😊

Immersed

There once was a curious soul
Wondering how your days roll
What activities fill your time …
It’s something she often wonders about …
Completely immersed in the moment

When I’m happy, either I sing or I paint. when I’m very happy I do both 😊

What do you do when you’re happy or very happy?

I Read It As

A university degree, four books, and hundreds of articles and I still make mistakes when reading, You write to me “good morning” and I read it as, “I love you” …

Mahmoud Darwish

Finding Joy

Desires unmet, dreams fade
Yet, gratitude fills the heart
Finding joy in what we have …

Discovering happiness doesn’t always involve fulfilling your desires.; it’s about cherishing what you already possess and expressing gratitude for it …

Finding Joy in life’s simple yet priceless pleasures, like

-relishing solitude at home
-preparing homemade meals
-writing letters in such era of emojis and instant messaging
-engaging in agenda less conversations with loved ones
-spreading joy with smiles and laughter
-lighting fragrant candles
-tending to plants, and
-expressing ‘I love you’ selflessly and unconditionally
-coming back to home by walking and appreciating the friendly neighbourhood and the beautiful surroundings with greenery and flower blossoming

And many more of such things ….

Please do share some of your small moments in which you find joy ….

A Letter to Beloved

Can you perceive
An unseen bond between us?
It ties us together; trust it, my love …
It’s invisible, yet unmistakably sensed
Certainly by me …
Do you not sense it as well?
A connection surpassing time and distance…
Ours is an endless bond
Our eternal, cherished blessing …

Through moments fleeting and forever
The thread weaves its way …
Stretching, sometimes tangling,
Yet resilient, unyielding …
As time, as it is infinite, it will stay …

Oh, my beloved, my dear …
Please pardon me, the mistake was mine
Throughout the moments we shared
And the clarity we’ve known …
It took me a while
To fully understand your essence …

Now I know
This love endures, and
Time, place, circumstance may shift,
This love is unbroken, my constant uplift …

Cherish caring hearts; love’s true wealth …

I’m uncertain if the title fits these verses. Do you have a suggestion?

^^

Wanderer

His presence lingers always
In thoughts, he resides …

When will I be able to let go of the enchanting pull of Kashmir, with its grand mountains and stunning scenery? I believe I’m entirely in love with it.

Discovering happiness and serenity along the path and journey ….

Have you ever visited a place that lingers in your mind long after you’ve left?

Weathering

My dear,

Often these days
My thoughts are spreading out to you
With too many questions hovering upon me..
Is the heat too intense where you dwell?
Are you navigating it with ease?
What’s the moisture like in your realm?
What’s the humidity level there?
I sense the weariness in your words;
It seems like a struggle for you;
Are you truly alright?

Here, we’re also dealing with scorching heatwaves –
Yet, amidst the swelter, my mind wanders to you
How do you cope up in this relentless weather?
Often these days
It crosses my mind …

Do you think of me too,
Sometimes?

Do you remember my disdain for humidity,
And how it worsens my headaches ….
Do you remember my aversion to doctors,
Yet now they’re an inevitable part of life?

My heart, already broken by your absence,
Feels the toll of days passing …
I find myself overthinking,
Lost in thoughts of you,
Especially in these days,
Days of relentless heat,
Days of suffocating humidity ….

Though
You may never grasp …
There’s an essence about you that I can’t shake
Even amidst these sweltering heatwaves …
A grip on me akin to
The greatest tale left untold …

So,

Could you narrate an episode or two from your journey?
Could you paint a tale of your eccentric existence?
Could you recount an experience
For me?
To me?
In these sweltering heat
Amidst the scorching waves there? …

Meanwhile
Take care, my dear,
Know that I pray for you …
In every moment
In every humid day and night
Of these days ….

Yours truly
^^

I do drink lots of water in these scorching conditions. I do keep my body cool. Though I hate to use sunscreen, just I avoid sunburn. I do like coconut water a lot. And Nimbu Pani too ☺️. Then I love ice cream too 🤷🏿‍♀️

Do you?

Let Silence Reigns

Let silence reigns…
Afterwards let words flow freely, endlessly through us, like a gentle stream ….

Let certain words remain unsaid …
Let some words remain unheard …
Let silence reigns …

For if all is voiced
What remains in the silence?
For if all is listened
What remains in the voice?

Let blank pages be as it is
For me and you, for the time being or for long, long time …

Let silence reigns …

Afterwards let words flow freely, endlessly through us, like a gentle stream, unbound, serene and graceful ….

Musings

Reflect on
‘Who are you going to be’
From
‘What are you going to do? ….

You know you want to do right things.
Then if you know who you are going to be, then
You’ll choose to be KIND in whatever you do.

It is said, ‘“If you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose being kind”, a quote taken from American philosopher, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.

This quote makes me think about the impact of kindness on other people’s lives …

Consciously choose to be kind …

Just was getting ready to take a picture in front of Buddha Dordenma Statue but the click was done just like that! So an untimely mistake of a moment gone by – captured … but they say nothing is untimely … everything happens at its own pace and in its own time …

Love it ♥️

A Delusion

Most days, when it’s Friday, I remember that on such one Friday I entered his city, and he didn’t show up …

Do you know what I was thinking when I stepped out of the airport? I never been to this airport and unfortunately I was going to stay only the night at his city ….

Our hotel cars were outside the airport. We girls got into the cars and the car was passing through the airport road to get to the city centre … the full moon was racing with us, I was watching it through the car window …with my wandering heartbeats on …

I wanted to believe that he will be there to surprise me. So without any contact with him, I was still hoping that I may see him in there at the hotel lobby and for that I was feeling a bit nervous, ‘What if he actually comes!? Should I go outside to grab coffee with him as he wanted to take me out for a coffee, or should I ask him to have dinner at the hotel restaurant as it was already late because of the delayed flight. We won’t get time for a coffee break somewhere else.’ – to be honest I was feeling very nervous too. And more importantly, I needed to give him the gifts that I’ve been carrying throughout my whole trip,… So I needed to unpack my luggage!”

“Oh no! That would be a mess!” – I was thinking about all these in my mind …

Then we reached the hotel. The lobby was normal with less people. I looked around a little bit more. “Was there any face that was searching someone?” – I was looking here and there and was thinking about this – “Oh! better if he doesn’t come now.” As if I can recognise him. I never saw him even. How stupid and pathetic I was! I was thinking, ‘I want to freshen up first and then I’ll be coming down again for dinner, and may be by that time he would come and I may offer him dinner Dosa at the hotel restaurant’ … I still can’t believe that I was thinking all of these even without any confirmation from him to meet me here! Feeling too much angry at myself ….

However, after the hotel formalities were done, we went up to our room and then I came down with my travel mate and by that time I grew a feeling of no expectation that he would come. ‘If I expect, it’s going to hurt me. It’s alright’ – I was thinking to make myself feel better and now I’m waiting for my dosa with an expectation of having a good dinner, because I was so hungry by that time through so many things and all of these unsure traumas …

Unfortunately 
-A delayed flight disappointed me …
-‘He’ disappointed me (He didn’t come. He didn’t confirm he would come though. Still I felt disappointed as if it’s all his fault…. )
-Dosa disappointed me (I was so hungry and I was craving dosa, but it was a disaster)

Now what? 

A dilemma …

To keep or not to keep the gift packet at the reception desk!

My poor little handmade gifts for him, and few other things – should I keep my gift packet for him to pick later on when he gets to know that I was at his city and about all of these!

Poor me and my surprise gifts!

Wish he would know how brave it was for me to accept his coffee date for sometime in the middle of the night …

It won’t make sense if he never comes and by that time I started having headaches. I must sleep for sometime, and so I did, having a medicine …

It was 3 AM in the morning, again our cars were on the road of his city to reach the airport. This time I took some videos of the road as a memory of the city. 

Long ago when the young girl in me visited this city, she was a carefree young girl who didnt know what does disappointment means! At that time she treasured the memory of visiting the famous amusement park with her siblings – it was full of fun, laughter and pure innocent joy. That time she left the city with delightful memories. 

Now she’s leaving the city with the gift she so lovingly brought here for someone she never met before, but whom she thought she knew for a long time ….

This time she was innocent too, as her feelings were so deep and true, but she didn’t understand why she would be disappointed for someone who didn’t even know about the gifts she’s been carrying for him.

But for what reason, she was upset – she didn’t understand though she’s not a carefree young girl anymore …

But she was upset, confused and disoriented because now she was carrying the gifts to bring back home and carrying a strange unknown heart leaving a bit of her heart in this dark city! 

Dark, because she entered it with a strange unknown feeling and it was nighttime though the moon was there (a relief to my eyes) and dark, because her heart was broken for a completely unknown, strange, unspecified reason so she was in denial for long …

It was a Friday night entering his city and on the morning of Saturday my flight took off from his city …

So on Fridays, most times it reminds me of 
that Friday when I was in his city, and he didn’t show up …

A delusion!

It’s a long post. I’m sorry for that. If you’ve read the whole story, thank you and tell me if you’ve ever felt the same? Or any instance that you might have felt ….

Hijr

Your thoughts are coming in waves …
Ceaselessly, constantly …
Crashing upon my mind’s shorelines;
Uncontrollably …

Hijr/ urdu
(n.) the feeling of having lost or been separated from a loved one ….

A Little Lip-syncing

Lip-synched this funny dialogues from the movie Kabhi Khushi Khabi Gham and I loved doing this ….

How was it?

Do you love doing this kind of lip-syncing? I do love. It really makes me feel good 😊 …

The funny stories or funny innocent activities like these and more bring a lot benefits in my life …
These activities

  • Increase my energy level
  • Reduce my stress levels
  • Help to recharge me
  • Improve my sense of humor
  • Stimulate my brain

Is there anything you do that brings about some healthy benefits to your life?

Keep a little humour and smile always ….

Humepenthe

Steam swirls,
Chaotic warmth in coffee cup,
Awake, senses grace, within ….

Humepenthe/ made up
(n.) someone who makes you forget er your pain and sorrow; someone with whom you forget all your worries ….

Humepenthe is a made up word (@cosmosbyrudra) made with combination of human + nepenthe which human form of a drug which was given to people to forget or lessen their pain and suffering in ancient time ….

La Reponse C’est L’amour

Moments linger, serene and soft
Time embraces our cherished moments,
And memories bloom, and serendipity stays …

I’m in love with this music. And you?

.

.

La reponse c’est l’amour/ french
(phr.) “Love is the answer”

A Few Words

Lovers’ shadows blend,
Whispers in the moonlit night,
Embrace painted stars …

White Beauty

Winter’s embrace, mountains adorned in white ….

Kashmir (2023)

Gaman

Between the lines of a muted conversation,
Unspoken tales form a quiet foundation …
Heartbeats echo the stories concealed,
In the silent spaces, emotions revealed …

‘Don’t wake me …
I’m not dreaming’ …

Gaman/ japanese
(n.) Gaman is a Japanese word of Zen Buddhist origin which means ‘enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity’. The term is generally translated as ‘perseverance’, ‘patience’ and ‘tolerance’ …

Melancholy’s Song

The shadow cast
On that starless skies,
Where murmurs linger,
Subdued goodbyes …
A tune of melancholy’s song,
In thy heart where echoes long …

Oh this melancholy,
My silent guest,
A tear-stained story, unspoken, and so blessed
The weight of contemplation
In shades of gray,
In twilight hours, grips its sway …

A canvas painted with dull hues,
A whirlwind of memories, tattered and bruised …
Through hazy veils of nostalgic dreams,
The world in silent sadness gleams …

A poet’s pen on pages bare,
Twisted verses of a sincere prayer …
Thy melancholy’s tender art,
Nothing but a symphony of hurting heart …

Yet, in the depth of still despair,
Belongs a beauty, rare and fair …
A gentle solace for the mind
In the shadow of the ancient find …

So let the tears of misery flow
Like mists on a window’s glow …
For in melancholy’s gentle grace
There lies a balm for life’s embrace …

Kashmir

Slow Down

I want to slow down in life. I want to be steady. Why run? Where to run? Where to fly? Everything will be fine …

Take a deep breath …

Jian Bird Creates

To Smile or Not to Smile

Strange
I do not get this sadness often …
Sometimes it’s hard to not feeling this heavy feelings for a long time …
But I feel today this sadness is not going away soon …

How I hate to be sad …
How I hate to wait to feel light in my heart again!

With vain hope though …

Though I also wish I do not smile anymore now …

Sometimes I get a reality check on my life in the most unimaginable way …

Sometimes I think about the losses in my life so much that it makes my senses tingle with pain and sadness so much that it’s hard to believe that I have lost it all and yet I’m living in abundance around … to be blessed by so many things …

Though sometimes I feel sadness suits me so well …
It’s supposed to be sad, my heart …

And I wish I do not smile anymore …

Happiness is inside of all of us. Sometimes, you just need someone to help you find it …

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Sometimes, Sukoon is just silencing all the noise and staring at the mountains out there ….

Kashmir

You & Me

You and me. A love story …