Beloved – Roksana Tales

Bravery

Climb the hill
Then jump across the small gap
Bravery feels free …

A Delusion

Most days, when it’s Friday, I remember that on such one Friday I entered his city, and he didn’t show up …

Do you know what I was thinking when I stepped out of the airport? I never been to this airport and unfortunately I was going to stay only the night at his city ….

Our hotel cars were outside the airport. We girls got into the cars and the car was passing through the airport road to get to the city centre … the full moon was racing with us, I was watching it through the car window …with my wandering heartbeats on …

I wanted to believe that he will be there to surprise me. So without any contact with him, I was still hoping that I may see him in there at the hotel lobby and for that I was feeling a bit nervous, ‘What if he actually comes!? Should I go outside to grab coffee with him as he wanted to take me out for a coffee, or should I ask him to have dinner at the hotel restaurant as it was already late because of the delayed flight. We won’t get time for a coffee break somewhere else.’ – to be honest I was feeling very nervous too. And more importantly, I needed to give him the gifts that I’ve been carrying throughout my whole trip,… So I needed to unpack my luggage!”

“Oh no! That would be a mess!” – I was thinking about all these in my mind …

Then we reached the hotel. The lobby was normal with less people. I looked around a little bit more. “Was there any face that was searching someone?” – I was looking here and there and was thinking about this – “Oh! better if he doesn’t come now.” As if I can recognise him. I never saw him even. How stupid and pathetic I was! I was thinking, ‘I want to freshen up first and then I’ll be coming down again for dinner, and may be by that time he would come and I may offer him dinner Dosa at the hotel restaurant’ … I still can’t believe that I was thinking all of these even without any confirmation from him to meet me here! Feeling too much angry at myself ….

However, after the hotel formalities were done, we went up to our room and then I came down with my travel mate and by that time I grew a feeling of no expectation that he would come. ‘If I expect, it’s going to hurt me. It’s alright’ – I was thinking to make myself feel better and now I’m waiting for my dosa with an expectation of having a good dinner, because I was so hungry by that time through so many things and all of these unsure traumas …

Unfortunately
-A delayed flight disappointed me …
-‘He’ disappointed me (He didn’t come. He didn’t confirm he would come though. Still I felt disappointed as if it’s all his fault…. )
-Dosa disappointed me (I was so hungry and I was craving dosa, but it was a disaster)

Now what?

A dilemma …

To keep or not to keep the gift packet at the reception desk!

My poor little handmade gifts for him, and few other things – should I keep my gift packet for him to pick later on when he gets to know that I was at his city and about all of these!

Poor me and my surprise gifts!

Wish he would know how brave it was for me to accept his coffee date for sometime in the middle of the night …

It won’t make sense if he never comes and by that time I started having headaches. I must sleep for sometime, and so I did, having a medicine …

It was 3 AM in the morning, again our cars were on the road of his city to reach the airport. This time I took some videos of the road as a memory of the city.

Long ago when the young girl in me visited this city, she was a carefree young girl who didnt know what does disappointment means! At that time she treasured the memory of visiting the famous amusement park with her siblings – it was full of fun, laughter and pure innocent joy. That time she left the city with delightful memories.

Now she’s leaving the city with the gift she so lovingly brought here for someone she never met before, but whom she thought she knew for a long time ….

This time she was innocent too, as her feelings were so deep and true, but she didn’t understand why she would be disappointed for someone who didn’t even know about the gifts she’s been carrying for him.

But for what reason, she was upset – she didn’t understand though she’s not a carefree young girl anymore …

But she was upset, confused and disoriented because now she was carrying the gifts to bring back home and carrying a strange unknown heart leaving a bit of her heart in this dark city!

Dark, because she entered it with a strange unknown feeling and it was nighttime though the moon was there (a relief to my eyes) and dark, because her heart was broken for a completely unknown, strange, unspecified reason so she was in denial for long …

It was a Friday night entering his city and on the morning of Saturday my flight took off from his city …

So on Fridays, most times it reminds me of
that Friday when I was in his city, and he didn’t show up …

A delusion!

#roksanatales

It’s a long post. I’m sorry for that. If you’ve read the whole story, thank you and tell me if you’ve ever felt the same? Or any instance that you might have felt ….

Steadily, Casually

Steadily, casually
I’ve become accustomed
To reading your words ….

What an enchanting time
It is ….
To be drawn to you
To be close to you …

Steadily, casually
Reading your words
I’ve become accustomed
To finding my heart …

#roksanatales

A Royal Escape

A royal escape with some happy laughter
And sometimes some happy tears …
Together with you only I’ll go to such escape
Again and again, now and always
And throughout all the coming years of any age …

Together we’ll visit
The Louvre Museum to see Mona Lisa
To see her mysterious beauty
Her smile is a mirror of me and
Like me, the curve of her lips speak wisely …
Her eyes have an unspoken love, dear
What would she say if she could speak?
Darling, if you want to know
Then ask me only …..

By the flowing Blue Nile
We’ll thread a dream strong
The mightier streams will pass it
To other mightier throng …
We’ll also keep the magic of love
By the brilliance shades of Pyramids
See, the beautiful Giza is near
They say, it’s west of the Nile clear …
Will we see Sphinx, Pharaoh’s face?
We’ll discover the mysteries of that phase
Together

The moon shines brightly upon the Great Wall
It’s lying like a great dragon along the sky
Three thousand years of wind and rain come by
It’s path is natural, strong and magnificent, just like you
It’s a long journey on the Great Wall
And I’ll be close to you, talking and walking about too …

Let’s get an appointment at the Eiffel Tower
As in the ‘Sleepless in Seattle’,
You may love it’s rooftop,
High, high, very high ….
Together from there
We’ll make our journey and we’ll fly
Screaming to the world, ‘Goodbye’ ….

Taj Mahal, no doubt, we’ll see
It’s a sign of eternal love
The gardens, the palace
The embroidered doors, walls and marbles
In all its beauty, a wondrous splendour …
But it brightens no brighter, darling
As it brightens in your heart’s core ….

We may dive in the Pacific Ocean
Its waves are like lustrous strands
Inviting us to light the deep with our love …
We may sit by it’s beach
And listen to the calling of the sea-gulls
We’ll find rocks and shells
We’ll walk hand in hand
Enjoying the ocean’s smell …

It would be excellent
To walk a Hollywood Fame …
You and me will act the roll
As they act in ‘You’ve got Mail’
I’m sure we’ll achieve a glamorous name …

Live orchestra of ‘Love-story’
In Italy, will be a joyful sight
The every thought, the music says
It says of the wish of a beautiful night …

We’ll ride a New York subway
We’ll play hide and seek
Station after station
We’ll laugh and not fray
Our laughter will keep the wind
Soothing
For others to breathe more and to pray …

Sweetheart, we’ll plant our flowers
We’ll see the blue open sky
We’ll see watch stars at night
And we’ll do something different everyday
To be kinder and to be more bright
We’ll feed a hungry child
With one word of gentle love
With one look more smiling to him
It’s a divine pleasure
It’s never a charity to any other
But to ourselves darling,
It’ll build our truthful insight, undoubtedly …

A Royal Escape of such happy laughter
With some happy tears is a pleasure …
As we grow together, with smiles
I’ll be escaping with only you
To many phases and places
Again and again, now and always
And through out all the coming years of any age …

#roksanatales

It’s my personal favourite with some error, here and there. And I know it’s a bit long than my usual ones, but I love this long poem and I hope you would love it too to read it all ….

And here I mentioned about Taj Mahal ….
Don’t know why I didn’t mention Pahalgam or the BETAAB Valley … Kashmir is my recent favourite place, absolutely, say like forever ♾️ 🥰

So should I include the place in this Royal Escape? Tell me ….

And tell me also where would you escape if there’s any chance of you being able to take such escape …