Climb the hill
Then jump across the small gap
Bravery feels free …
Tag: Feel this
Love
You ask about my love
How deep it is for you …
And the extent of my affection …
My feelings are genuine
And my love is sincere
The moon symbolizes my love …
So tender was the kiss
That touched my heart
Such deep affection
Makes me yearn for you …
You ask about my love
How deep it is for you …
Reflect on this
And gaze above
The moon symbolizes my heart …
In English We Say
In English we simply say
“I love you” …
In poetry we say
There’s a phrase that’s forever in view …
With a heart full of glee
It’s easy to see
That phrase, my dear, is “I love you!” …
A Delusion
Most days, when it’s Friday, I remember that on such one Friday I entered his city, and he didn’t show up …
Do you know what I was thinking when I stepped out of the airport? I never been to this airport and unfortunately I was going to stay only the night at his city ….
Our hotel cars were outside the airport. We girls got into the cars and the car was passing through the airport road to get to the city centre … the full moon was racing with us, I was watching it through the car window …with my wandering heartbeats on …
I wanted to believe that he will be there to surprise me. So without any contact with him, I was still hoping that I may see him in there at the hotel lobby and for that I was feeling a bit nervous, ‘What if he actually comes!? Should I go outside to grab coffee with him as he wanted to take me out for a coffee, or should I ask him to have dinner at the hotel restaurant as it was already late because of the delayed flight. We won’t get time for a coffee break somewhere else.’ – to be honest I was feeling very nervous too. And more importantly, I needed to give him the gifts that I’ve been carrying throughout my whole trip,… So I needed to unpack my luggage!”
“Oh no! That would be a mess!” – I was thinking about all these in my mind …
Then we reached the hotel. The lobby was normal with less people. I looked around a little bit more. “Was there any face that was searching someone?” – I was looking here and there and was thinking about this – “Oh! better if he doesn’t come now.” As if I can recognise him. I never saw him even. How stupid and pathetic I was! I was thinking, ‘I want to freshen up first and then I’ll be coming down again for dinner, and may be by that time he would come and I may offer him dinner Dosa at the hotel restaurant’ … I still can’t believe that I was thinking all of these even without any confirmation from him to meet me here! Feeling too much angry at myself ….
However, after the hotel formalities were done, we went up to our room and then I came down with my travel mate and by that time I grew a feeling of no expectation that he would come. ‘If I expect, it’s going to hurt me. It’s alright’ – I was thinking to make myself feel better and now I’m waiting for my dosa with an expectation of having a good dinner, because I was so hungry by that time through so many things and all of these unsure traumas …
Unfortunately
-A delayed flight disappointed me …
-‘He’ disappointed me (He didn’t come. He didn’t confirm he would come though. Still I felt disappointed as if it’s all his fault…. )
-Dosa disappointed me (I was so hungry and I was craving dosa, but it was a disaster)
Now what?
A dilemma …
To keep or not to keep the gift packet at the reception desk!
My poor little handmade gifts for him, and few other things – should I keep my gift packet for him to pick later on when he gets to know that I was at his city and about all of these!
Poor me and my surprise gifts!
Wish he would know how brave it was for me to accept his coffee date for sometime in the middle of the night …
It won’t make sense if he never comes and by that time I started having headaches. I must sleep for sometime, and so I did, having a medicine …
It was 3 AM in the morning, again our cars were on the road of his city to reach the airport. This time I took some videos of the road as a memory of the city.
Long ago when the young girl in me visited this city, she was a carefree young girl who didnt know what does disappointment means! At that time she treasured the memory of visiting the famous amusement park with her siblings – it was full of fun, laughter and pure innocent joy. That time she left the city with delightful memories.
Now she’s leaving the city with the gift she so lovingly brought here for someone she never met before, but whom she thought she knew for a long time ….
This time she was innocent too, as her feelings were so deep and true, but she didn’t understand why she would be disappointed for someone who didn’t even know about the gifts she’s been carrying for him.
But for what reason, she was upset – she didn’t understand though she’s not a carefree young girl anymore …
But she was upset, confused and disoriented because now she was carrying the gifts to bring back home and carrying a strange unknown heart leaving a bit of her heart in this dark city!
Dark, because she entered it with a strange unknown feeling and it was nighttime though the moon was there (a relief to my eyes) and dark, because her heart was broken for a completely unknown, strange, unspecified reason so she was in denial for long …
It was a Friday night entering his city and on the morning of Saturday my flight took off from his city …
So on Fridays, most times it reminds me of
that Friday when I was in his city, and he didn’t show up …
A delusion!
It’s a long post. I’m sorry for that. If you’ve read the whole story, thank you and tell me if you’ve ever felt the same? Or any instance that you might have felt ….
If Only
Her Last Inscription
To love you again and again….
She’s truly honest
In her honest prayers …
Though within her unspeakable despair
And impossibility,
She couldn’t go away far;
But always come back quite inevitably …
All frailties alone cast upon
Her feeble hope that always exits;
Her nature reigns upon her own soul …
She holds on to her faith; yet so unfair her torments,
Make the despair ever greater
Widening her tears itself betwixt,
She watches feebly all souls’ cruel wits …
Impossibility goes not to heaven
Like a weak and an easy prey;
Thinking is not same as knowing,
So at her best, she spends in praying,
Trusting each and everyday.
At times, she tries to cease time
But not her endless pray ….
(Whatever you wish:
You know that you know
But know you not;
Truth is her lord
And always you shall be;
‘My dear, (she whispers)
I’ll serve what you deserve,
Even if you talk
So ungratefully.
:Whenever you wish)
The injustice rankles yet
More often loving comes to her aid.
It is always worth keeping,
Her emotion that rises and trips away springs;
For the sake of her truth, she brings
The words that breathe a reason
Scaring the unfinished conversation even with self …
Though her skies are too dark (at the moment)
With flowers in odor and in hue in sight,
Now she excludes all and wanders through the night …
Being more calm and bright,
Letting all her doubts, thoughts and emotions pass by
To enter the heaven, the endless light,
Lastly, she takes her flight.
So long, she loved at her best,
A bittersweet farewell to her dear is the rest …
She writes her last inscription just to let you in,
‘Please don’t hurt my soulful prayers,
Forgive my selfish tears ….
As I would take rebirth in this world,
With my passion for you
Deep, and fully blooming
And quivers with bliss.’
Above, a bit complex verses, though I think it’s fine …
In a poem I usually use whatever can be called the melody long before I have reached an understanding of all that it might mean. Sometimes I think I can use that to my hearts’ fullness and other time I feel that it’s unfinished yet again conveying the emotions which convince me to love it as it is …
To me, poetry attracts when only emotions endures ….
What aspects of poetry attracts you the most?
Roksana Tales 