Hamnafs

No matter how often I gaze at you
I’m never fully quenched …
You bloom like dawn’s first light
While I glimmer like a lone star in the night …
I’ll beg the heavens to soften your glow
For these days, your presence leaves me breathless …

Hamnafs/ persian/ urdu
(n.) the person having closeness to your breath; your soulmate

What I know Now

My Dear R,

I hope this letter finds you well. As Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” With that in mind, I wanted to share some important reminders—lessons I’ve learned and wisdom I’ve gathered over time …

First, remember that happiness isn’t just a destination; it’s the journey itself. Think of each moment as a precious gem to be savored. Immerse yourself in what you love, whether it’s painting a vivid canvas, losing yourself in a good book, tending to your garden, or enjoying the company of friends. Don’t hold back. Learn the practice of “wabi-sabi.” While wabi-sabi primarily focuses on finding beauty in imperfection and the transient nature of life, it also emphasizes appreciating simple, everyday moments. Appreciate more of your self-care and personal expression. Dress in your favorite outfits, experiment with makeup, or enjoy a pampering session as a way to celebrate yourself and find joy in small, delightful ways. Embrace and cherish the present moment …

Don’t overthink. Eliminate self-doubt and self-criticism. Don’t ever think you’re not enough; you are enough, just as you are. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Don’t let negative thoughts take root in your mind. Instead, focus on starting a skincare routine, eating healthy meals, maintaining regular exercise or yoga, and taking care of your personal hygiene. Remember, your brain and body are closely linked; when one suffers, the other often does too …

My dear, do you laugh often? Laughter is a reflection of our inner state of being, so let it flow freely. Find that spark that lights up your eyes. Be passionate about something—whether it’s a hobby, a project, playing an instrument, exploring nature, or even just a ride all on your own …

Seek connection and company. Share your joys, sorrows, and daily happenings with the right people. Building and nurturing these relationships is essential for your well-being. The support and understanding of others can provide strength and perspective in difficult times. But also never ever let anyone tell you otherwise or bring you down …

Read as many books as you can, starting from a young age. As George R.R. Martin said, “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies . . . The man who never reads lives only one.” Reading will enrich your life and make the most of your time in the best possible ways …

Please darling don’t forget to walk daily, move, run, or dance, for ‘to keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.'” – Buddha

You have the power to create a beautiful life for yourself. Embrace every opportunity to grow, learn, and love. You’ve got this. The time is now to be bold about who you are. Hold no regrets. Try more things. Cross some lines. It won’t matter to anyone. Love yourself as you are. And remember, you are always beautiful, kind, and worthy of being loved, cared for, and respected.

Consider Oprah Winfrey’s journey. Despite facing significant challenges and adversities in her early life, she embraced every opportunity for growth and learning, ultimately becoming one of the most influential and successful figures in the world. Her story is a testament to the power of self-love, resilience, and the pursuit of one’s true self. As she often says, “The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.”

You’ll discover a unique happiness that comes from simply living and enjoying everyday, mundane pleasures. Imagine a painter who, after years of searching for inspiration in grand landscapes, finally finds true joy in capturing the simple beauty of a sunlit kitchen, a blooming garden, or the quiet streets of their neighborhood. Their art reflects the contentment found in everyday moments, illustrating how the ordinary can bring profound happiness.

Love deeply and passionately. Someone unique will come into your life. He won’t possess the conventional markers of success you once thought were essential in a partner. On your first date, he might give you a ride home on the handlebars of his bike because he doesn’t have a car and can’t afford to rent one. But don’t worry about these. Rather you may find that he’s incredibly funny, intelligent, and has remarkable integrity.

And lastly, be funny, kind, empathetic, caring, and respectful. Be vulnerable. Wouldn’t you agree that these qualities make life richer and more fulfilling?

You warm my heart,
Roksana

A letter to the younger self

The few coloring, drawings, paintings that I enjoyed doing in this July

However, no matter how old you are, there’s always something to learn from any moment or from anyone who is an integral part of your life right now. Learn what you can from those you admire and most importantly from the walk of your own life and apply it in real sense as much as possible ….

What do you think?

In My Dreams

In my dreams, I glimpsed you,
A shadow calling my name
From a distant place …
I walked far ahead
In a sea of chaos
Surrounded by countless faces
I turned around
Aware of your voice
Yet you remained unseen …

In my dreams, I found you
Amidst a chaotic storm
You searched for me
Worried if I get lost
Where would you find me?
You sent your words to me
And I replied with mine
But it was never quite enough
Everything remained hazy in the dreams …

In my dreams, I glimpsed you on a distant path
While I wandered through your city
A stranger to its streets
Unaware of my arrival
You found my words and raced to me
By your trusted companion
Eager for me to join your ride …

In my dreams, I saw you there
With your handsome looks, so debonair
While my long black hair did shine
We glided on the lake so fine …
It led us to a grand palace; there
We roamed like King and Queen
While you remained in silence deep
I felt a restlessness for your voice … 

I cannot tell
How long I’ll dream of you
But for now, it brings me joy
To find you in my dreams …
Though you seem distant
I long for the dreams each night
Waking at dawn’s first light
Renewed, beginning
My day with you in my heart …

.

.

.

.

Do you see dreams?

What makes you dream about a certain person?

What if you never met someone and still you see them in your dreams!

I think it’s such a poignant acceptance of the joy found in the dreams of someone dear, even as they remain a transient part of the dreams, offering solace and renewal as the day begins …

Ya’ Aburnee

She used to be calm,
But now she’s even calmer …

She walked slowly,
But now she walks even slower …

She talked freely with the right person,
But now
She barely talks at all …

She mingled happily with her best friend,
But now
She avoids everyone …

She expressed herself openly,
But now
She keeps everything inside …

She used to dream of the stars
But now
She barely looks at the sky …

She used to dance in the rain
But now
She stays inside, dry …

She used to laugh with abandon
But now
Her smiles are rare and shy …

She used to sing her heart out
But now
Her voice is just a whisper …

She used to chase after adventures
But now
She hesitates to even try …

She used to believe in magic
But now
Her wonder seems to die …

She lost her beloved, her heart’s anchor,
Now she drifts, untethered and forlorn …

Grief has woven shadows in her days,
And joy, once bright, feels tattered and torn …

.

.

Ya’ Aburnee/ arabic
(n.) lit. ‘may you bury me’
a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person because of how unbearable it would be to live without them

.

.

.

Have you ever felt like these for anyone?

Devoted

You say
‘I’m overwhelming’;
I don’t know
How to untangle this web of feelings …

You say,
‘Don’t be so hard on yourself;
I don’t know
How long these ache linger in my mind …

You say,
‘Deep breaths. Relax’;
I don’t know
Why my breath is fleeting and
My calm turns to fear and agony …

You say
‘Rein in your heart’;
I don’t know
What walls to build around my soul …

You say
‘Pain is inevitable’;
I don’t know
When these wounds will mend …

You say
‘I’m leaving soon;
I don’t know
Will our eyes meet ever! …

I only know
Amidst the shadows of doubt
This love remains pure …
Sanctifying me
Like a deity in devotion …

.

.

.

A deep and unwavering love may persists despite uncertainty or doubt. Even when surrounded by ‘shadows of doubt’, love remain untainted and pure. Love is both a source of strength and a spiritual experience with a sense of purity and sanctity …

What do you say about it?
Have you ever experienced such love?

Let’s Dance

I was calm and then you’ve come
And the storm is dwelling inside me
Ever since …

I was a tranquil sea, still and serene
Whispering lullabies to the shore
Then your presence
Like a fierce wind
Unsettles the depths ….
See! What you’ve done to me!

Gentle ripples
Morph into crashing waves,
My heart, once a quiet harbor
Now a tempest’s playground ….

Lightning thoughts
Thundering pulses
A tempest’s eye
Restless and wild
OMG!

You’ve come,
And the calm is no more
Only the storm,
Dwelling inside me …

What should we do now?
Together
Let’s dance 💃🕺
Shall we?

It was raining so much yesterday! It makes me romantic, I think. What does rain do to you?

La Vie Est Belle

Saying ‘I love you’ doesn’t suffice …
I need to say, ‘I love you immensely’ …
Only then does my heart overflow with joy-
Ethereal and divine …

#roksanatales

Tu hai toh – muskurate hai

Nepal, I will always remember you. The experience was so surreal, it delved deep into my heart, making my soul feel the innocent emotions and pain more profoundly that I never imagined I would feel …

Wherever I went, I sensed the presence and warmth of a far away land; I feel that presence flowing through the bloodstreams of my heart. I long for the warmth, fully aware that I am that warmth; to meet the one and merge into unity, to grasp another’s essence within my soul, to see myself reflected in the light of my soulmate. I keep searching only to realize that this beautiful quest is what makes my journey so special. Once the search is over, I will be in eternal despair … So, isn’t this better?

Visiting the mandirs, temples, and stupas made the experience even more fascinated, as I never forgot to pray there. This is quite unusual for me, and I’m not exaggerating, even if it might sound that way …

I realize I love the life I lead, mainly because of my childlike curiosity, carefree nature, sense of humour, deep emotions, enthusiasm, hopefulness, creativity and the immense attraction I feel for the Mother Nature that’s innate in my heart, and the special love that comes from my little heart is the one that meets with The One who roots me with this knowledge that

I’m nothing and everything;
I’m attached and detached;
I’m wild and I’m calm;
I’m possessive and sacred;

Anyways, after the Nepal trip, I’m a bit under the weather from unknown allergies. Moreover I mistakenly attempted some crazy yoga asanas 🧘 on my own to celebrate International Yoga Day (ha ha ha). It wasn’t the wisest decision, but trust me, all my decisions are good ones so far! You just don’t know it yet. Perspective and time matter…

Keep sending good energy and blessings on my way. Keep Sana in prayers!

Namaste/ नमस्ते
Peace/ سلام

I Am Never Not Thinking of You

Between my
Breaths and heartbeats
Your name echoes
Always in my mind …
In the morning light
In the depths of night
You are always in my thoughts …

Every fleeting second
Every whispered breeze
Carries a piece of you …
If you ever forget
If doubts ever cloud your mind
Know this truth:
I am never not thinking of you …
For you’re my constant muse …

I Have a Fondness …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
A fascination with the fragile
The delicate dance of hearts
Walking unsteadily on the edge …
In love …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
At times it seems
Love’s other name is
Broken hearts …
An echo of longing …
A symphony of cracks …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
In love, I find
A beauty in the fracture,
In the spaces …
Where light seeps through the wounds
Where the raw and the real collide
In a blaze of truth and tenderness …

I have a fondness for breaking apart
It’s a mosaic of
Shattered dreams
Pieced together with hope …
A courage of feeling
The audacity of connection …

I have a fondness
For the breaking …
For the way love demands vulnerability …
For the way it strips us bare …
For the way all its flaws are revealed
I have a fondness
For my unguarded heart
Breaking apart …

For in the breaking,
We find the depth of love
The resilience of the beautiful soul …
The beauty of a heart
That dares to love
Even knowing it might break …
That’s how I have a fondness
For breaking apart …

Love

You ask about my love
How deep it is for you …
And the extent of my affection …

My feelings are genuine
And my love is sincere
The moon symbolizes my love …

So tender was the kiss
That touched my heart
Such deep affection
Makes me yearn for you …

You ask about my love
How deep it is for you …
Reflect on this
And gaze above
The moon symbolizes my heart …

Srinagar, Kashmir

Pondering

In puzzled ponder, a name I’ve heard
Though “Roksana” my soul preferred …
Yet as time passed by
A fondness did arise
Love’s influence moves my heart …
Let the name be my tender song
In love’s embrace, I truly belong …

Quiet Contemplation

Your absence has gone through me, like thread through a needle.

Everything I do is stitched with its color.”

Separation by W.S. Merwin

The Way of Rest

You cannot save anyone. You can be present with them, offer your groundedness, your sanity, your peace. You can even share your path with them, offer your perspective. But you cannot take away their pain. You cannot walk their path for them. You cannot give answers that are right for them, or even answers they can digest right now. They will have to find their own answers.

Jeff Foster

Nan Nikkeoya

My thoughts are scattered …
Oh dear!

Restless I feel …
My heart aches deeply …
He captivates my heart …

My thoughts are scattered …
Right now …
Oh dear!
I continually shatter my heart,
Dispersing its fragments
Until they touch
The depths of your being,
My beloved …

C’est la vie

My Dear,
It’s likely that as you were writing to me, I was walking back home from work, taking in the beauty of the flowers in my charming neighborhood …

I adore my neighborhood. The scenery is incredibly captivating with its tall trees and beautiful blossoming flowers. I frequently opt to walk home from work, as it’s only 850-1000 steps from my workplace to my home …

So, what I was saying about my neighborhood!

I really admire the shade under the tall trees and enjoy watching the breeze rustle through the colorful bougainvillea. It’s lovely to see people walking along the footpath and enjoying their time. As I passed by the mosque, I noticed people seeking relief from the scorching heat under the trees in front of the mosque. I adore the vibrant colors, the fragrant scents, and the sense of simplicity in that scene.

It was scorching heat outside. And there I found myself embracing the warmth of the surroundings. There was refreshing cool breeze and thoughts of you. It may sound unbelievable, but it’s the truth. Your presence in my thoughts remains unwavering amidst the whirlwind of life’s events. Please, believe that.

So, where was I? I was expressing my fondness for the delightful, blossoming, shady path in my neighborhood and how much I’m fond of you …

Today I took a break from work as I was feeling an intermittent cramping in my abdomen. Some rest will help me feel better. However,. Sudden leave from work leads me to think, “How can I best utilize this extra time at home?” Swiftly, I begin mentally compiling a to-do list. Eventually, I decided to walk back home…

While returning, I found myself feeling happy to see these blossoms and greens. The outside heat was too strong but I cared less and I continued walking, intermittently pausing to capture photographs.

I returned home and checked my email once again. I was so surprised to receive your mail. This news brightened my day so much that now I feel inspired to spend the next few hours painting.

I find great pleasure in painting when my heart is filled with happiness and I was very happy to read your mail. 

Your words and painting will grace my own solitude for today, now and here. 

Do you enjoy solitude?

I eagerly await your response to my somewhat poetic emails.

Have a peaceful, wonderful, blissful day!

Yours truly,
^^

Do you enjoy solitude?

C’est la vie means ‘That’s life’ 😊

Immersed

There once was a curious soul
Wondering how your days roll
What activities fill your time …
It’s something she often wonders about …
Completely immersed in the moment

When I’m happy, either I sing or I paint. when I’m very happy I do both 😊

What do you do when you’re happy or very happy?

I Read It As

A university degree, four books, and hundreds of articles and I still make mistakes when reading, You write to me “good morning” and I read it as, “I love you” …

Mahmoud Darwish

A Letter to Beloved

Can you perceive
An unseen bond between us?
It ties us together; trust it, my love …
It’s invisible, yet unmistakably sensed
Certainly by me …
Do you not sense it as well?
A connection surpassing time and distance…
Ours is an endless bond
Our eternal, cherished blessing …

Through moments fleeting and forever
The thread weaves its way …
Stretching, sometimes tangling,
Yet resilient, unyielding …
As time, as it is infinite, it will stay …

Oh, my beloved, my dear …
Please pardon me, the mistake was mine
Throughout the moments we shared
And the clarity we’ve known …
It took me a while
To fully understand your essence …

Now I know
This love endures, and
Time, place, circumstance may shift,
This love is unbroken, my constant uplift …

Cherish caring hearts; love’s true wealth …

I’m uncertain if the title fits these verses. Do you have a suggestion?

^^

The Poetry in That Girl

I reconnected with that girl anew –
Who once embraced life fully …
Who danced with every step and radiated joy
Whose eyes were some sunflowers, blooming
And whose soul ignited fireworks, dazzling …

I played music for that girl again …
In hopes that its melody would ignite her spirit within
Creating a haven for her to emerge from the shadows
And dance once more under the stars …

Knowing that she would find solace within these moments
With each sunset painted in hues of gold
And each gentle breeze whispering
Through the trees ….
I hoped to create a sanctuary where she could feel safe enough to reveal herself once again …

Deep within, I felt her presence stirring,
A flicker of recognition amidst the silence …
Longing for my kindness and effort that shimmered with possibility
I vowed to nurture her return
To guide her back into the light
Where she rightfully belonged ..
She belonged to the poetry within her …

Little Roksana

The pic is from the archive of memories of a young girl; another of her mirror image. She was travelling by train, from Kolkata to Delhi ….

It was an amazing journey!

Wanderer

His presence lingers always
In thoughts, he resides …

When will I be able to let go of the enchanting pull of Kashmir, with its grand mountains and stunning scenery? I believe I’m entirely in love with it.

Discovering happiness and serenity along the path and journey ….

Have you ever visited a place that lingers in your mind long after you’ve left?

Agape

A self-portrait captured
In the window’s reflection …
Streets refreshed, cars in repose,
As the breeze sweeping by …
Your absence is there deep within,
Even in the hustle of life …
A smile graces my lips in this bustling race
Thinking of you ….
Contemplating ….
Life carries me well forward
With an unconditional love for you …

Agape/ greek
(n.) The highest form of love. Selfless, sacrificial and unconditional love; persists no matter the circumstance …

Wonderwall

Do you realize the depth of my longing, the relentless ache for your words that consumes me day after day?

As time slips away, I find myself bereft of the anticipation that you’ll come to me with your thoughts woven into words …

Every passing day feels like an eternity, a solitary bird yearning for the life-giving touch of rain …

I yearn for you incessantly, akin to a tearful child yearning for the comforting embrace of its mother …

My wait for you echoes the patience of a patient seeking their cure …

Do you understand the extent of my yearning, how it wraps around me like a heavy fog, casting shadows of melancholy and confusion?

You are a constant presence, flowing like a river, your thoughts swirling within me, sometimes quietly, always tumultuously …

I ache for you, as if my very spirit is on a quest to find you, while my physical self remains anchored in the depths of my heart, waiting …

I long for the days filled with twinkling moments shared between us, each one a precious gem amidst the vast expanse of time .

Wonderwall
(n.) someone you can’t stop yourself thinking about all the time; the person you’re completely infatuated with …

According to Gallagher, Wonderwall‘ describes ‘an imaginary friend who’s gonna come and save you from yourself; a source of support and strength; a soulmate …

Weathering

My dear,

Often these days
My thoughts are spreading out to you
With too many questions hovering upon me..
Is the heat too intense where you dwell?
Are you navigating it with ease?
What’s the moisture like in your realm?
What’s the humidity level there?
I sense the weariness in your words;
It seems like a struggle for you;
Are you truly alright?

Here, we’re also dealing with scorching heatwaves –
Yet, amidst the swelter, my mind wanders to you
How do you cope up in this relentless weather?
Often these days
It crosses my mind …

Do you think of me too,
Sometimes?

Do you remember my disdain for humidity,
And how it worsens my headaches ….
Do you remember my aversion to doctors,
Yet now they’re an inevitable part of life?

My heart, already broken by your absence,
Feels the toll of days passing …
I find myself overthinking,
Lost in thoughts of you,
Especially in these days,
Days of relentless heat,
Days of suffocating humidity ….

Though
You may never grasp …
There’s an essence about you that I can’t shake
Even amidst these sweltering heatwaves …
A grip on me akin to
The greatest tale left untold …

So,

Could you narrate an episode or two from your journey?
Could you paint a tale of your eccentric existence?
Could you recount an experience
For me?
To me?
In these sweltering heat
Amidst the scorching waves there? …

Meanwhile
Take care, my dear,
Know that I pray for you …
In every moment
In every humid day and night
Of these days ….

Yours truly
^^

I do drink lots of water in these scorching conditions. I do keep my body cool. Though I hate to use sunscreen, just I avoid sunburn. I do like coconut water a lot. And Nimbu Pani too ☺️. Then I love ice cream too 🤷🏿‍♀️

Do you?

Tacenda

My longing, a relentless tide
Your absence, a void deep inside ….
Am I flawed, or loved?

Tacenda
(n.) things better left unsaid

That Yellow

She paints grace
In glowing yellow …
As the brush-strokes
Softly glide through her skin …
Hers is a delicate face
Soothing and serene;
Tread with a gentle touch
In colors unseen ..
That yellow color girl
In tranquil pose ..
She’s a grace …

Yellow is my favourite color … which color do you like most?

Ethereal

Connected, unseen thread binds,
Across time, place, situations unwind …
Stretched, tangled, yet resilience found,
Improbable love, unbroken, and profound …

Avenoir

In strokes of paints and words
My soul opens up inviting you to breathe life into my world …
Yet you missed the essence, and
The depth of my art … Only once though … yet
The entire ordeal leaves me to ponder, and
Torn apart …

Do you feel the echo of my heart’s despair?
Or does indifference cloak the air?
It matters not, for distance now weaves
its sway,
As I journey on,
far from yesterday’s bay …


Though you missed my art’s embrace,
Let its sigh lingers, finding their place …
Somewhere within you …
As you hold it close to your being in time to come
Let its essence, eternal, be freeing …
Let my art reside,
As a silent companion …
As a comforting guide ….
As a cherished part of me …


May it dwell Within you,
So I may live on forever through my art
With you …

I love my Jian Bird Creates journey … it’s a journey of creativity and joy and resilience of a lot more than you could ever think of …

Forget Me Not

Avenoir/ latin
(n.) the desire to see memories in advance or desire that memory could flow backward …

Let Silence Reigns

Let silence reigns…
Afterwards let words flow freely, endlessly through us, like a gentle stream ….

Let certain words remain unsaid …
Let some words remain unheard …
Let silence reigns …

For if all is voiced
What remains in the silence?
For if all is listened
What remains in the voice?

Let blank pages be as it is
For me and you, for the time being or for long, long time …

Let silence reigns …

Afterwards let words flow freely, endlessly through us, like a gentle stream, unbound, serene and graceful ….